how to be interesting?

Question

i cant seem to start conversations with acquaintances. well, i can, but they just seem bored when i talk to them. they are such interesting people, and talk about such interesting events in their lives. how can i find anything to talk about!! my life is so boring!

Answer 1

There are lots of things here. The life experiences are not at all the most important.
But think about it, now you have an experience that leads you to say "oh, i cant seem to... I'm not interesting", but how will you know when you're going to be interesting? This is important, because if you cannot monitor your progress, than you will never know when you're interesting enough.
The next question is... interesting for whom? You see, there are people quite centered on themselves and it's hard to be interesting (for them) when you are near them.

There are other things here too:
- speak to people a lot, no matter how "uninteresting". It's just a good exercise for the beginning.
- follow your passions
- train yourself in communication skills. I recommend Ericksonian hypnosis and Richard Bandler's Neuro-Linguistic Programming analysis of Ericksonian hypnosis.
Hypnosis it's the art of communication.

Answer 2

See "dance_bab." She has the right idea. Let people talk and sooner or later they will tell you all sorts of things they never planned on discussing.

I'm not always such a good "schmoozer," some situations, people, etc. are more conducive to conversation than others. Don't feel bad if you don't "score" every time--learn, and be glad when you find yourself remembering an amazing conversation.

Thanks for your time.

Answer 3

Have you travelled outside the place where you live? How did you like it ? What was different about it that you didn't expect?

Do you enjoy reading the paper or books? What are your favourite books? What's the most outrageous story you've read or heard on the news that you'd like to hear other people's opinions about ?

Being a good conversationalist involves active listening as well as being empathetic and ethusiastic.

If someone says to you, hi how're doing ? And you look down , shuffle your feet and mumble your answer naturally people will go on to someone else. They THINK YOU'RE NOT interested.

Everyone thinks their lives are boring or uninteresting at some point, get out more , talk to people more, be interested in alot of things and form opinions about them. You don't have to be confrontational but you can state your opinion firmly and politely. Smile , be friendly, don't hide behind your hair or shuffle your feet and look down at them. Actually laugh when someone says something funny, not just a smirk or a heheh.

Answer 4

acquaintances ???
You need friends who will give you basic respect first of all, then you can practice conversations and develop skills and discover conversation techniques that get attention and weed out bad habits or techniques that get you ignored.

Develop or get involved in constructive things that could spice up your life, any hobbies, or sports, or passions or interests.

Don't condemn yourself for being boring. Practice appreciation and enthusiasm for everything, your life will become interesting.

Also, when getting into conversation with people, stay mainly in harmony with their conversation, rather than derail it or pull it away on a tangeant. Also acknowledge their contribution to conversation instead of looking like you try to steal credit for theirs.

ADD your comments right at the moment they are ready for it ! Sometimes, timing is everything ! Even comedians know timing of saying things will strongly determine the effect they try to achieve.

Even if you don't currently have "such interesting events" you can sure show enthusiasm for theirs and later you have a better chance that they will show interest for yours -- sometimes you first have to "give" (interest or attention) before you can "get".

Also, practice conversation when it doesn't count and doesn't matter, so you will gain confidence for when it does count.

Answer 5

Ironically enough, people think you're a brilliant conversationalist when you listen to them talk. Don't worry so much about having interesting things to say, but ask questions that show you're interested in them.
"You've been to China? What did you think about it?"
"Suzy tells me that you have a pilot's license, isn't that scary?"
"You breed komodo dragons? Is there a large market for that?"

Other than that, be an interesting person yourself. Take up a hobby (rock climbing, knitting, motocross), stay up on current events (and have an *educated* opinion), do interesting things in your spare time (concerts, football games, etc). Keep a stock of jokes (you only need to be able to tell three or four really well).

Don't worry about impressing people with yourself. It will happen on its own.

Answer 6

You are not a boring person and neither is your life.
You just have to be yourself, and if they get bored with you and your conversation...they are just missing out on getting to know you. However, maybe they think the same as you and you may not realize it. I know how you feel believe me and it doesn't get easier with my age. Sucks but true. I just think be yourself and do your best to relax. It ought not be that hard to be natural and then you will find people like minded.
Besides, if your life were boring you wouldn't be here with the rest of us talking up a storm now would ya?

Answer 7

I tend to ask alot of questions. Find out about their backgrounds or their likes and dislikes..you can almost always find something to talk about then...like if you agree with someone or even disagree with what they have to say. You probably live a life more interesting then you know..it just seems boring cuz you are the one living it! Relax and let the conversations start flowing... good luck.

Answer 8

The most uninteresting people are those that talk about themselves. The people you are currently think of each other's conversations as interesting because better conversation has not yet surfaced. Be the first! Talk about real issues, things that bother folks, etc.

Try talking about interesting non-self topics that you know stuff about. Give it a try.

Answer 9

maybe its not so much that your life is boring, but you are not as great of a "storyteller" and can't describe the things happening is your life as "well" as those other people. its okay, everyone is different.
and maybe you are just being paranoid and they are not bored. just talk about whatever you think is cool or intersting, example, "do you watch this show? i think it is sooo great. that episode was so funny" or something. and don't just talk to be interesting. also, i heard that people like it when you listen to them, and it makes them feel good, so if you're not as great of a conversationalist you could listen and add any comments you have about what they're saying.

Answer 10

The trick is to be interested, not interesting. Remember, to them they are important and when you become interested in them, you become interesting. And, subsequently, a part of their acquired circle. Learn to really listen and to advance the conversation through questions. The more you do this the better conversationalist you become. Yes, it is difficult but becomes easier. Soon they will be saying, "What an interesting person!"

Everything you have or will have comes from others whether subtractive or additive to your life.