What do I do. we have great trust for each other i thought, and i am offended that he would ask. he knows i dont even care about money, and i can take care of myself, when he asked, i told him and i think he is upset now. what do i do?
2007-01-13 12:44:12 · 24 answers · asked by someones love 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This exact thing just happened to me with my boyfriend actually and I was also pretty offended. After I gave it some thought though I realized that it's probably a good idea. Considering the divorce rate and all of the terrible things that "could" happen after a divorce with dividing assets, it's a good safety net for you both. Look at it as just the practical side of getting married - it's not a happy or romanitc thing to do but it's realistic. Look at it as an independent woman thing and you'd just have to make sure that you agreed with the terms of it. It's pessimistic and depressing but I bet at one point, most divorced couples were just as happy in their relationships as you and I are right now in our own relationships. Good luck and don't stress out too much about it.
2007-01-13 12:49:25 · answer #1 · answered by sarahjaniepoo 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I personally think they are a good idea, for both parties. Almost %70 of marriages end in divorce. So protecting yourself financially is just a good idea for both of you. Not only would a prenup mean that what was his before marriage stays his, it goes the same for you. If you should get divorced, you will not be saddled with his student loans or credit card debts. I say sign the prenup but make sure it works to your advantage, as well. Like, you can also write in a clause about cheating. Say, if he cheats on you, you're automatically entitled to a certain amount of money in the divorce settlement. Also, you can agree on the alimony before hand, just in case. From 1-5 years, you get this much. From 5-10, you get that much. Have a separate lawyer draw it up for you and keep it business while you negotiate it. Having it in place could actually HELP you to have a better marriage, because the temptation to stray will be offset by the knowledge of what it would cost. I know it's not romantic. But it's realistic. And while I hope you never need it, if you do, you'll be really glad that you have it.
2007-01-17 07:13:32 · answer #2 · answered by Vix 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest you wait! Wait. If you have the wedding a year later, what difference does it make! This is not a decision to be taken lightly and you have your whole life to be married. Just wait! Set a 2011 date. Book a hall and a church and then just wait. Give yourself a year without all the stress of planning a wedding to decide if this is the right thing to do! Go to the church counseling! Also, know that your boyfriend's mother is very hands on! She will want to be involved (maybe over-involved!) in all big events! She loves her son and that is how their relationship is! Accept it or move on! It is a given! There is nothing you can do about it! Until the day she dies, she will be there! Good Luck!
2016-05-23 22:30:30 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't blame anyone for wanting to try to preserve what they have, when they are thinking of marrying someone nowadays. So many marriages don't last, people turn out to be completely different than we'd thought, revenge or spite gets the best of some, etc.
If you love him and want to marry him, then sign it. If you really don't care about his money then you won't care if you are asked to sign away your rights to it...or have a clause put into the agreement that if the marriage ends due to him cheating, or abusing you (or whatever other stipulations you decide) that the prenup becomes void.
2007-01-13 12:50:09 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, is he wealthy or what? Perhaps his family is? At any rate, if it were me I wouldn't necessarily have to big a problem signing one; However, I would definitely want it to be FAIR. That said, tell him you would [after a long and hopefully productive conversation about each others feelings on this subject] BUT I would have my atty. check it over first; Do **not** sign anything like that without consulting an atty. I mean, what if you were married 3 years and then **he** won the lottery?!?! And then, ditched you? And here, before the wedding you agreed to next to nothing and he gets millions! Eeegads!!! Best of luck!
2007-01-13 12:57:38 · answer #5 · answered by ~ kelby67 ~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seeing how 50% of marriages now end up in divorce i can't blame him. i had 1 done because before i got married i had a house,nice car,property in other states,and all kinds of expensive things. but however during the marriage she is entitled to anything you make or buy. good thing because i caught her in bed with another guy and divorced her. she tried to get those things but my lawyer showed her lawyer the papers and also the judge. she did not get ****! she only ended up with some money which was very little because we were married less than 1 year.
2007-01-13 13:37:05 · answer #6 · answered by gunnyhoney1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't go thru with it let him be aware of your exact thoughts about money.... in a relationship and marriage there should always be trust and if he is too worried about money and not about you then sorry to say maybe you guys need to give each other some time apart,,,I have a girlfriend that married a guy with money and he is always worried about money and how and when it should be spent even her money from her job. She is so depressed and wants out. Good Luck to you
2007-01-13 12:57:51 · answer #7 · answered by Baby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him why he bought this up....does he have family money?
Maybe he's seen some men lose their shirts when a marriage ends in divorce.
You'll have to make the decision how this affects your feelings for him and how it effects your idea of what a marriage is.
Just a note.....more and more people are signing pre-nups now just as a matter of course.
2007-01-13 12:51:33 · answer #8 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Save your offense. Really. The woman you divorce is not the woman you married. Seen it first hand.
If it helps, blame what marriage has turned into; no longer a communion of souls but a binding contract under court jurisdiction.
2007-01-13 12:54:38 · answer #9 · answered by lmcbuilder 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would sign but it would have to be stated that if he left me for another woman or man than i would get half.. also if he became obusive that i could leave and get half...it would have to be drawn up by a lawyer and made fair to both sides.. i can understand why he would want one if he has a lot of money sometime people marry someone just so they could divorce later taking half of something they did not help to make
2007-01-13 12:51:23 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋