My Partner and I seem to argue alot, and it is usually over the stupid things, when we don't argue we get along so well and have a wonderful relationship, this time the argument has lasted 4 days and he says his feelings for me have been turned off, I know I do start some of the arguements but it does take 2 to tangle. I love him with all my heart and don't wont to lose him, we have a appointment with a theripist this coming week, I hope it isn't to late. What can I do to get him to turn his feelings back on? PLEASE HELP.
What is the best way to not argue? What can we do? We have a very bad communication problem also. When I say things he takes them the wrong way. I just want it to stop? Any suggestions?
2007-01-13 12:41:52 · 7 answers · asked by blueeyes24 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
arguing is part of the package hun, be boring if you didn't argue. after an argument try something to take your minds of it find something to laugh about never go to bed without kissing
my hubby and i have been together 23 years he makes me laugh ,some days i want to strangle him,some i want to leave, some we argue.but even after all this we are still madly in love and wouldn't be without each other
I'm sure you will work it out good luck
2007-01-13 12:51:09 · answer #1 · answered by ♥♥™Tia™♥♥ 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think you need to analyse who is really causing the arguements!
Are you saying things the wrong way, is he being over-sensitive... Who is being unreasonable...
If you come back with what you consider to be a fact that you are causing everything then I would take a huge step back...
Regardless of how much you love this man, you really do have to take advice from outsiders who have a damned good idea of who is to blame.
I loved my last boyfriend so much, I allowed him to get inside my head and he really had me believing that I was the cause of all our relationship problems...
I found out later that he was projecting responsibility for the things HE was upto at the time, onto me.. He was turning his own guilt back on me. I was an emotional and psychological mess for nearly 4 years and no amount of coucilling solved the problems... I eventually found out the truth, despite his efforts to keep the facts hidden from me, and left him... I still loved him and it hurt like hell... But I had to do it for my own sanity.
I wish I had listened to my friends and family who tried to tell me what was happening.
I really don't know if this is the case in your relationship. I've known women who have done the same thing and manipulated their b/f's into believing everything was their fault... Getting into someone's head is not gender specific...
But regardless of your feelings towards this guy, if you are unhappy more than you are happy, it is time to throw in the towel...
There is no shame in giving up on something that makes you miserable, especially when you know deep in your heart, that there is no fixing it...
If, after analysation, you decide that you are to blame, truely, then if you love this man then I think you really have to leave... Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to let go, but if you love him then you will want the best for him, and hopefully will have the maturity to realise that you are not that..
Hope councilling helps you recognise the problems with more clarity..
Good luck
2007-01-13 14:07:33 · answer #2 · answered by KJA 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, I've been here before. So I'll try to help
My relationship. a previous one, was not great. The guy abused me, but I loved him because I could tell him anything without being judged by my friends, who thought I was crazy.
But our communication skills as far as him checking girls out and me being upset when he did it, was really awful. If you want it to change, you can't expect more than a week of change, than back to the same old. I know you love this man, I loved this guy. But there are better people out there. What would you do if he cheated (not likely, but say what IF) and he had a horrible excuse, and you were crying, and he came up with " welll, maybe I just like her?" what would you say?
Would you be regretful that you stayed with him?
If you're giving him all the love, and not getting any in return, it's time to do your heart a favor, and leave before it gets worse.
2007-01-13 12:58:48 · answer #3 · answered by Love is Patient, Love is Kind ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you both need to calm down... try to do the things he likes for a while.. just to remain in peace till the therapists session.. Try to relax because the tension affects everything when you have a partner...
Wish you the best, good luck!
2007-01-13 13:03:29 · answer #4 · answered by militastarg 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Poor communication is the reason for many relationship failures. Counseling is an excellent idea. Good luck.
2007-01-13 12:50:41 · answer #5 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Me and my wife are always arguing over silly things best thing you can do is sit and chat at the end of it all and try talk it over it is very hard to but i find it works good luck
2007-01-13 13:24:06 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You just have to practice self control. Whenever something happens that makes you want to go off, wait for 10 seconds. Count in your head. This will allow you to control what you say and do next.
2007-01-13 12:53:32 · answer #7 · answered by helplessromatic2000 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋