I think my husband cares more about his 4 year old daughter more than me what should I do?

Question

When my husbands 4 year is over for the weekend he pays more attention to her than me. I feel very left out I try to get along with her but she has nothing to do with me so I just leave her alone and let her and her daddy have their time together. I need some help, what should I do?

Answer 1

You're only a stepmom and it is HIS daughter. You don't have the right to complain about your husband being with his daughter. Get over it!

Answer 2

Hello,

What are you thinking!!?? He gets the opportunity to be a part of his daughters life every weekend or other weekend. Your with your husband the rest of the time. What's really going on here? This is a little girl 4 years old come on now let up some and relax.
By this little girl only being 4 she doesn't know the reasons why her mommy and daddy split or whatever. So she may be a little stand offish of you, allow her some time and she'll warm up to you!
I suggest that you find out things that she like to do or things she's interested in and see if you all can do something together. Don't feel left out your an adult this is a child... how do you think this 4 yr old little girl would feel coming over there to see her daddy and he's paying not any attention to her, but all about you ignoring her to please you(an adult)! That would be so horrible don't do that to her and don't make your husband feel as though he has to make a choice.. spend time/pay attention to you while she's there or else sort of thing.
What should you do? Find things that you all can do together! Bake cookies with her little things like that..You once were a little girl so take a step back and think about this.
Stop being jealous of his daughter please...Shes only 4!!

Good luck to you this isn't hard to figure out.

Answer 3

What on earth is wrong with you, honey? If your husband has a child from a previous marriage and she doesn't live with you, he NEEDS to pay more attention to her when she visits. He needs to step up and be the father and let that child know he loves her and cares for her and is there for her until she is grown. And YOU should support him in this. You should also develop a good relationship with the child. The three of you should go to the zoo, the aquarium, a museum, out for lunch, etc. together as a family. She is your step-daughter. She needs a good relationship with you, not a jealous, bitchy, whiney step-mother!!! If she has nothing to do with you, it's because she isn't comfortable with you yet. You are the adult, so you need to remedy this. Teach her how to do something (hook a rug, knit, bake cookies, make cupcakes...you get the idea), and help her fix her hair. Get her some bubble bath and a dolly to take a bath with. Be her friend. She'll loosen up eventually, if you try hard enough. And your husband will love you all the more for your efforts. This is his child. She needs him. His relationship with her is completely different than his relationship with you, so stop with the jealousy.

Answer 4

I feel for you and the frustration that you must be feeling. You must how ever no that she is only four years old and he needs to be there for her. She will be a better women when she grows up if she has her dad in her life. You are his wife you need to stand by him and support him. Give him the time that they both need. Don't try to read to much into the situation. You should be happy that you have a man that loves his girl so much. (To many parents this day and age could care less in raising their kids.) Keep trying to bond with her. It may take time but kids are well worth the effort. Try and come up with ideas that all of you can do. You could go horse back riding or to the beach. Any thing if you feel left out then try and get in by maybe taking some pictures then show the girl the pics with her daddy in them. She would most likely love that...
I wish you all the best..

Answer 5

Four-year-old's are very smart. How long have you been married to her Dad. Does she feel you took him away from her Mom? How does her Mom feel about you? She would pass her feelings on to the child. The baby is probably as angry with you as you are with her but she is a baby and her Dad doesn't get to see her much. The more you try and push yourself into the situation the more you will be pushed out. Back off, be pleasant, ask how her Mommy is doing and most of all be sincere cause kids can see right through adults. Your question makes me think you are very young. Dad's are so important for little girls to grow up and make good decisions about their own lives. I use to daydream about having a Dad all my life and it left a hole in my heart and it is still there at 60. You should be thankful you have a man that cares about his child. So many men lose interest after the cute stage. The only time you should worry is if you think there is something inappropriate going on. Go to church together if that is possible.

Answer 6

Be happy that your husband is so attentive to his child. It is an indication that he will be just as attentive to any children you and he may have together, whether or not you stay together.

Do not be jealous or resentful of their time together. Instead, try to get a little more involved. Make foods she likes; plan things to do as a family; and stop trying to take her dad's attention away from her!

You need to talk with your husband and let him know that he is not alone in this - that you are ready, willing and able to help him and yourself develop a healthy and happy relationship with the child. You cannot replace the child's mother - she already has one of those, but that doesn't mean you can't have a close and happy relationship with her yourself.

If you are unable or unwilling to try, then you should never have married a man with children.

Answer 7

Sounds like he is a wonderful father and his daughter is blessed to have someone like him. It's obvious from your question that you have no children of your own or else you would completely understand why he pays her so much attention. He loves her and will ALWAYS love her more than he does you. That's a fact and it should be that way. You shouldn't feel threatened by that. You should just try to take little steps at getting along with her and if she doesn't want to right away then that's fine. SHE'S ONLY 4 YEARS OLD FOR F($KS SAKE.

Answer 8

Well he sees you what 5 days a week and his little girl mabye 2 days a week! Have some understanding that he needs to give her his full attention so a)she doesnt get jealous and hate you even more and b)she can have a strong relationship with her dad. If she wants nothing to do with you then taking her dad away from her is not going to help the situation. I should hope he loves his daughter more then his girlfriend anyways. At least in my opinion. If it is to hard for you to bear then leave for the day when shes over. Do your own thing and then in the evenings arrange to do something the there of you can do that is casual like going to the movies etc. If you cant handle it then you need to reconsider your relationship with this man..because his daughter is going to be in your lives for the rest of his life if you stay with him.

Answer 9

Well.....for starters you shouldnt be jealous of a 4 year old nor should you blame her for anything. It is not her fault that the two adults in her life could not get along. Find something to do with yourself when she is there. Go to the mall, go for a long drive, find something that you can enjoy doing while she is there. She is probably being poisoned by her mommy not to have anything to do with you. That is sad too. It sounds like you are a little insecure, she is a child and she is his blood. She needs to do things with her daddy and you should leave it at that and not feel bad. You are loved too!!!

Answer 10

Hold on... a 4 year old daughter NEEDS her daddy more than you do right now. Realize she'll get older and be able to do more for herself in a few years, but at 4 daddy is her world and she SHOULD be his world.

My kids are 3 and 6... and they ARE my world too. At that age, they have little they can really do without me. These are their formative years - the years that determine their future. If anything in this world is more important than their wellbeing, growth and development right now, shame on me for being a poor father.

Your husband loves you, I'm sure, but his daughter NEEDS him now.

Answer 11

I must say that as a dad, myself, I feel sorry for you that your husband cannot include you more into his life and his daughter's life. I understand that he needs to keep the relation with his daughter sacred. But, I really feel that if he truly loves you and respects you, then he would slowly introduce you into his daughter's life. If this situation is new for him, then he may not want to introduce you right away as the new woman in his life. But, slowly over time, he may include you into the relationship. Remember, a girl at this age may have very strong feelings for daddy and she may view you as the woman who may keep her from the daddy-daughter relationship. Hopefully, your husband will eventually work you into the relation.... Talk with him and find out how he plans on introducing you into their time together. If he is unwilling, he may not view you as a person with whom he has respect.