If you are religious and believe that marriage is so sacred and you don't want to end your marriage without trying your utmost , and you have a 22 month old daughter , whom do you seek for help first , a marriage counselor or a psychiatric ? I hope to get some advice from some specialists here (please mention it ) thanks !!
2007-01-13 12:21:17 · 11 answers · asked by homesick33 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Okay, look, stay away from psychiatrists. Most of them are nuts. I'm not kidding. I used to work with doctors and the psych guys were all a bit off base, some more than others. But a good marriage counselor should be helpful.
You are wise to do all you can to save your marriage. My heart goes out to those of you who have kids and want to do all you can to work it out for the sake of your children. There are so many studies that show that children of married couples do so much better than those of divorced parents. Divorce is hell for you and hell times two for your children. It is a thing to be avoided.
Go interview a few therapists. Stay away from those who are going to help you two communicate. You cannot communicate your way out of a bad marriage. Find somebody who will work with the two of you on reinforcing your affection for one another. Take time to think about why you got married in the first place. Take time with your husband and remember the good times in your earlier marriage and when you were courting. Do all you can to re-kindle the old feelings that brought you two together.
Your husband is lucky to have a woman like yourself. Most women these days just pack it in and file for divorce. You are a rare find these days. On some level, your husband must know this.
Go to a bookstore and look at all the books they have on marriage. Find one along the lines I described. Something that works with your natural affections for one another.
Communication isn't your problem. It's a lack of understanding of each other and a lack of affection and appreciation. If there is alcohol or drug addiction, you must address that before you can get anywhere. If that's there then start there. If that's not there, you can proceed directly to the next step (above). Also, make sure nobody is suffering from extreme depression and that nobody is having an affair or thinking about having an affair or developing emotional attachments outside the marriage.
From there, it's hard work. But it's worth it.
You will do fine. Just choose wisely. Choose a therapist that will get you going in a positive direction. Not one who will encourage you to dredge up all the crap in your marriage and sling mud at each other.
Your goal is a very noble one and I wish you the best of success. I wish more people felt as you do.
2007-01-13 12:57:25 · answer #1 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now is the time to re valuate your life and your priorities while your child still young and wont be damaged by what is going on in your marriage. If you are not happy and have seek ed professional help and is not working, then maybe you are better off being on your own. Seek help from family members and close friends. Talk to your spouse is never too late to put all your cards on the table and let him know that the marriage is not working out. Good luck to you.
2007-01-13 12:44:22 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry. I'm not a specialist.
I'm sorry. You're having so many problems.
I too am a Christian and I firmly believe that you and your husband should seek out your minister first. Especially if your minister is a counsellor as most are. If not, then yes, a marriage counsellor would be wise.
I think a psychiatrist is a bit extreme but I don't know all the circumstances.
I will keep you in m thoughts and prayers.
2007-01-13 12:40:31 · answer #3 · answered by Emma J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello I would say a marriage counselor first and a counselor for you also talk with the pastor of your church.... I also run a list called lest talk marriage at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/letstalkmarriage I am here if you need a friendly ear to listen and talk with you:) I wish you the best.
2007-01-13 12:25:37 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Id say a marriage counselor. They will help you both work through your problems. Just keep the faith and good luck. At least you are giving it your all.
2007-01-13 12:27:21 · answer #5 · answered by peaches 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly were saved and a Christian, you would not even be asking whether you should divorce or not. God hates divorce. If you remarry, you will be committing adultery.
I would definitely get some counseling. I found a website called Marriage BootCamp. I don't know anything about it, but it maybe worth to check it out.
2007-01-13 12:33:39 · answer #6 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A lot of larger churches have a couples pastor or you could talk to any pastor. They can tell you the right ways to handle your problems. You need to make sure the pastor believes the same things you do before you see them though.
2007-01-13 13:16:20 · answer #7 · answered by Summer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage counsellor.
2007-01-13 12:24:33 · answer #8 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marriage counselor
2007-01-13 12:24:41 · answer #9 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
see ur preacher and a counselor.
2007-01-13 12:25:13 · answer #10 · answered by Tian 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋