we are divorced since one month and I am the one who wanted to divorce because she did many bad things to me ..... so I divorced her though I love her....
now she has a birthday and I still thinking of her... should I send her a birthday-card? If yes, then what should I write to avoid misunderstanding?
2007-01-13 12:17:49 · 17 answers · asked by S_M_A_R_T_Y 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no do not send it!
2007-01-13 12:21:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Unless there are children involved and continued contact is required, then simply write in the date in the upper right hand corner, her name above a simple card's printed "Happy Birthday" greeting (nothing more-- look for a card that simply says this only), and your name below it.
The divorce you were the one to initiate albeit for valid reasons, is a legal ending to your relationship. When you end a relationship, part of a relationship is communication and celebrating special occasions with that person.
Because you love her and are still thinking of her, you appear to be subconsciously looking for a reason to justify continued communication and contact with her, which continues the relationship and is unhealthy for both her and you under the circumstances.
Because it has only been one month your mixed feelings are understandable, but by sending a card under these circumstances, it is unhealthy for both her and you, and sends a mixed message i.e. does not avoid, but more likely than not cause a misunderstanding. You both need to move on with your lives without each other which includes communication, holidays, and special occasions such as birthdays.
Congratulations for having the courage and strength to end an unhealthy relationship where she did many bad things to you, though you loved her. Don't weaken and back track now.
2007-01-13 12:45:33 · answer #2 · answered by Venus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happy Birthday!
I think that's pretty safe.
But I don't know if I'd send a card or not. If you decide to send one, keep it pretty simple and impersonal. I'm serious about simply writing "Happy Birthday". That can't get you into too much trouble.
Ask yourself what your motivation is in wanting to send her a card. If your motives are pure, send the thing and be done with it. If you're up to something like getting back together with her, then I wouldn't send it. You're too early in your recovery from the divorce to go mucking about.
Be careful.
2007-01-13 12:42:12 · answer #3 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get one of those GENERIC birthday cards that doesnt really say anything
(happy birthday , this is a special day for you I hope you enjoy it or someother such nonsense)
sign it
JIM
(or whatever your name is) dont put LOVE or anything like that
NO money, NO gift
NOTHING
just the card with your NAME signed
p.s. LOOK in the humor section to find a non loved themed card
If you have a card factory outlet, go there and the cards are less than fifty cents apiece
2007-01-13 12:26:45 · answer #4 · answered by kissmymiddlefinger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't send a birthday card. You'll just ruin her day by making her think of you. You divorced her, now let her heal and move on. If you must insert yourself into her day, just have a mutual friend tell her you say happy birthday.
2007-01-17 07:02:58 · answer #5 · answered by Vix 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi smarty thanks for the email.You should write her and tell her your sorry because you were wrong ok?Why did you divorce her marraige is very serious it sounds like you said do what I say or else.I be mad at you because didnt you promise till death do us part?Then you ended it now your mad because she has someone else?What did you think she would do>.Who cares about your family ?Your wife always comes first thats what you promised when you married her.I think you hurt her really bad.All women are crazy so what !you did love her, you realise that now so send her a card that exspresses humility.Be sincerely sorry.
2007-01-15 14:36:12 · answer #6 · answered by butterflyspy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just send her a simple happy birthday. Nothing about love or anything mushy. Write the card as if you were talking to a homeboy or a co-worker. Nothing too personal.
2007-01-13 12:34:42 · answer #7 · answered by Kam 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They have been together for a long time, so in my opinion sending a birthday postcard is nothing wrong. Look, they divorced, but it does not mean they hate each other. They just decided they do not want to be together. They still however can keep in touch. Do not panic, but also pay atention to waht happens.
2016-05-23 22:27:38 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't send one. Find someone who will appreciate you. She is a waste of time and even though you may still love her you don't need anyone like that in your life. That's why you got a divorce. She will take it that you still care...don't give her the satisfaction.
2007-01-13 12:25:11 · answer #9 · answered by onedot.darling 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Unless you have a restraining order against you (depending on the state and restrictions), I see nothing wrong with it. "Happy Birthday. Hope things are going well." should be a message that is clear and to the point.
I wish all the best for you.
2007-01-13 13:10:29 · answer #10 · answered by J T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't send it. my god you are looking for some one to say it is okay to send it. sounds like you really didn't want to divorce her. sending her a birthday card is like telling her it was okay to treat you badly. just don't do it! get over her, move on.
2007-01-13 12:25:40 · answer #11 · answered by Pandora 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋