One of my friends told me this joke, check it out:
Dear Employee:
As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel.
Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future. Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.
This program will be known as SLAP (Sever Late-Aged Personnel). Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company.
SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program is called SCREW.
SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers). All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management.
This appeal is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination).
Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate.
If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get: HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump sum Assistance Payment).
As HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans, any employee who has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.
Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain on board that the company will continue its policy of training employees through our:
Special High Intensity Training (****). We take pride in the amount of **** our employees receive. We have given our employees more **** than any company in this area. If any employee feels they do not receive enough **** on the job, see your immediate supervisor.
Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the **** you can stand.
And, once again, thanks for all your years of service with us.
2007-01-13 12:02:36 · 12 answers · asked by Produh G 4 in Games & Recreation ➔ Other - Games & Recreation
the astricts mean: s.hi.t
2007-01-13 12:03:19 · update #1
got that in an email its funny
2007-01-13 12:05:39 · answer #1 · answered by kelly r 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Been there, went down this dusty road in 1993, got my pay cut 55% and had to work 12 hours daily to make up difference. But the joke is on them as I retained the retirement clause and retired in 1999 with full pension at age 54
2007-01-13 12:17:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
thats long and too much info for me Lol
2007-01-13 12:17:29 · answer #3 · answered by Nick 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you are supposed to post questions not jokes that is abuse of yahoo answers
2007-01-13 12:13:34 · answer #4 · answered by guitarsrkewl08 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
to long to read unless you are a ture social loser....plus this is so not a question
2007-01-13 12:06:47 · answer #5 · answered by player_28147 1 · 1⤊ 3⤋
too long to read
2007-01-13 12:04:31 · answer #6 · answered by Allen L 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
hahaha
2007-01-13 12:08:50 · answer #7 · answered by jake r 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
funny but true
2007-01-13 12:06:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
that is a long joke. pretty ok... but long.
2007-01-13 12:05:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
that joke sucked
2007-01-13 12:06:56 · answer #10 · answered by tannermann2001 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋