have the ability to take them with me when they are out of school, which I have and do alot. I have spoiled them rotten, and it shows at times like tonight. I am the driver almost every Fri and Sat either to the mall or pickup from the mall and take friends home or ball games or to boyfriends (oldest is who I am speaking of now) and sometimes both nights both ways. I rarely do much alone or with other adults. Alot of the times when I want to do something I wont hear any complaints but tonight, I got the guilt trip for even suggesting that I was going to a friends for a bit. Now last night I picked up my 15 from the mall, took her boyfriend home and she had a friend spend the night here. Today I took her to her boyfriends work to see him on a 30 break (as I do alot). And tomorrow they will see each other too (they do not go to same school) so that means I will be doing at least one of the ways driving tomorrow. my question finally and I am sorry, but why do I fell so guilty?
2007-01-13 11:44:25 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
You said it yourself, you spoiled them. They see this as normal. I can't believe you said you drive her to see her boyfriend on his break! You have lost it, and I say that not to be ugly but in hope that you see how rediculous you've let this become. You feel guilty because you equate giving them what they want with giving them what they need. It's two different things, there is a balance, and you've messed it up in their heads and in yours. Get some sanity back before the younger ones get to the older ones age.
2007-01-13 12:21:50 · answer #1 · answered by The Scorpion 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because you're a mother, that's why.. it doesn't matter the circumstances, any time you do anything for yourself, you feel guilty.
Try talking to the daughter, explain the things you do for her and tell you that once in a while you'd like to hang out with your friends just like she does.
You know how much your children need you and you do everything you can for them but if you don't take a break once in a while for some 'me time', then you will get overly stressed and won't be any good for anyone.
Sounds like you're a great mother though
2007-01-13 19:52:56 · answer #2 · answered by sassydontpm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why you feel so guilty... you deserve one night every once in awhile... don;t forget who YOU are. Tell your 15 year old to take the bus, or call a cab, or offer to take her to see her boyfriend once in the week. Asking your kids to give you a few hours one night shouldn't be a big deal (they are old enough to take care of themselves for a bit).
If your 15 y.o. doesn't like it.... well then she;ll hate you like all other 15 y.o. hate their Mom!! She'll get over it.
2007-01-13 19:58:50 · answer #3 · answered by naenae0011 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel guilty, just tell them you going out and if they don't like it, they can find another way around, you are not a taxi service. They will shut up real fast. You owe it to yourself for a night out, without taking the kids somewhere first.
2007-01-13 19:50:33 · answer #4 · answered by sunflowerlizard 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost my husband four years ago. I spoil my six year old. I feel guilty that my husband died. I know it is wrong, but it's hard. We both need to start saying no. I been trying to do it. When I got married and had children, this is not what I wanted. I feel guilty about him dying.
2007-01-13 20:56:29 · answer #5 · answered by Halo Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldn't feel guilty but your children should because they won't help you. Maybe you could have friends over at your place and the children are old enough to be alone for a night but watch out for having their bf or gf sneak in.
2007-01-13 19:54:04 · answer #6 · answered by teenzyla92 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them that this is the end of taking mommy for granted. this is insane. your fifteen year old daughter does NOT need to see her boyfriend on his 'thirty minute break'. quit driving your kids around unless it is to a lesson, practice, (their) game, or anything else having to do with school, sports, or music that you must go to. you need time for yourself and your kids are spoiled rotten. as for the boyfriend, he's freeloading off of you and your car. make him get his own ride! as soon as ur daughter gets her permit, make her drive everywhere her spoiled butt needs to go.
2007-01-13 20:03:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't even get me started .
2007-01-14 03:32:50 · answer #8 · answered by Diane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you let everyone use you as a door mat and they know this and you let them treat you like that.........
2007-01-13 19:52:00 · answer #9 · answered by operationspiritlift 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Read Brian B's answer. Read it again and again!!!!!
2007-01-13 20:56:54 · answer #10 · answered by Maudie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋