we are divorced since one month and I am the one who wanted to divorce because she did many bad things to me ..... so I divorced her though I love her....
now she has a birthday and I still thinking of her... should I send her a birthday-card? but what will she think about that? I dont want that she think I am weak or regret the divorce... I only love her and want to send her this card.... please what should I do?
how should I behave?
2007-01-13 11:37:01 · 19 answers · asked by S_M_A_R_T_Y 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It would be a nice thing to do and would show that you're being mature about the divorce and moving on with your life instead of harboring bad feelings about her.
2007-01-13 11:41:18 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to send her a card, send her a card. You are now going to have to determine what your post-divorce relationship is going to be. If you think you can be friends, then be friends. Nothing says that you have to be hateful and spiteful to each other for the rest of your lives. If you truly want to wish her well on her birthday, then send her a card. If you think she will misinterpret you intentions, then add a note saying that you wish her well on the coming year as she enters the next phase in her life.
It's a card - it's not dinner, a movie, and flowers.
2007-01-13 12:00:30 · answer #2 · answered by Patti C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mabe a card is too strong of a sentiment, even though you still love her, it sends mixed messages so soon after divorce. I think if you have the opportunity to talk to her before or even after her b/d just wish her a happy birthday then. No card.
2007-01-13 11:48:37 · answer #3 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think you shouldn't worry about what she thinks. Do what you want to do. What you feel like. How it comes across is for her to interpret, but at least you did your part. And I think that it is okay and a nice gesture to acknowledge her birthday. Hopefully it'll be a step towards friendship. Its rare, but when people can become friends with their ex-es its an experience and a unique relationship that can be very beneficial to your life. You guys were married for christ's sake- you've been through so much, why OVER THINK the simple decision to send someone a birthday card on their birthday?? =)
2007-01-13 11:46:58 · answer #4 · answered by HE'S NOT INTO ME 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's normal human kindness to make people feel good in their birthdays.
All depends what you are going to write there. It can be loving card or it can be a just friendly, warm card which will let her know that you like her even you are not good for each other.
2007-01-13 11:48:04 · answer #5 · answered by Bella 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This very much depends on what terms you and your ex wife are on. If there was a lot of animosity, she will think it weird if you send a card. You obviously have unresolved feelings and could maybe benefit from counselling to help you move on. If you are on good terms and you simply wish to acknowledge her birthday, then send it. If you have any ulterior motives, don't.
2007-01-13 11:43:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write Happy Birthday - but don't add Love in the card!
2007-01-13 11:54:22 · answer #7 · answered by luckylady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to give her false hope I wouldn't send her a card.My husband did that to me and I thought he wanted to get back with me .It wasn't about that at all he just thought it was a good idea.It hurt me so bad and to make it even worse he signed LOVE and his name.Before he left me he would always signed every card the same LOVE YA ALWAYS XOXOXO and his name.So if you don't want to hurt her anymore then I would say no.
2007-01-13 12:06:31 · answer #8 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure send her a card and wish her a happy birthday.
2007-01-13 11:44:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anna Z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's up to you. Send the card if you think that it will bring you happiness. It may be an outlet to your still-amicable feelings.
2007-01-13 11:43:27 · answer #10 · answered by Sydney M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋