Now, he refuses to go w/ me, ever, as he dislikes them. So I'm supposed to stay cooped up in our apartment and watch him play video games forever? Tonight is a coworkers bday party that I wanted him to go to with me. He won't. He's says I was lying about that promise if I go and that I'm choosing them over him. I've already told my girfriends I would go. He says I trash him to them and that he doesn't want to be judged. I do talk to one older person about some issues in our relationship. Others just see how he is, like never going to parties w/ me. Should I go and break my promise or stay and let my friends down?
2007-01-13 11:16:32 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You made a promise not to go without him assuming that he WILL AGREE to go with you, so he cannot hold you to that promise, it is unreasonable and controlling and in a relationship no one should prevent the other from doing things they like, have friends and other hobbies. You are not cheating, you are out with co-workers. Tell him that from now on, since he does not go with you to any work related events you are going on your own, and you encourage him to go out with his friends also.
2007-01-13 11:24:55 · answer #1 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is a good one. He is using the promise to control you, it's not that he likes or dislikes your friends (it's a control issue). Let me lay some groundwork, going to public parties with girlfriends ( not a good idea), going to work parties with girlfriends (acceptable). Think of it this way, don't do anything that you wouldn't want him to do. Other than that - do it. The promise was under false pretense. Now, his problem, there are two things that it could be - trust issues or just a controlling a**hole. One thing for sure, that kind of controlling attitude does lead to mental abuse and physical abuse, so be carefull. Keep someone informed of your daily activities and let them hear from you everyday. Take this from an older guy that has seen a few things, keep yourself safe first.
2007-01-13 12:00:06 · answer #2 · answered by John J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your bf has some serious control issues.
They are the precursers to abuse.
You need to take back your life. Obviously you are committed to him, but you do not have to give up the things that bring you joy because he is insecure about your relationship.
Go out with your friends, have a GREAT time and if he can't handle it, move on with your life.
Don't allow him to suffocate you by making you make irrational promises!
2007-01-13 11:25:12 · answer #3 · answered by Starry Night 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you don't go, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.
You need to dump this jerk, he's controlling every aspect of your life. He need's to be beaten down for what he's doing to you.
I volunteer to put him in his place. No woman should ever be treated in this fashion
2007-01-13 11:45:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go w/ your girlfriends. They will be the ones there for you when you finally get wise and lose that controlling a**hole. He is trying to choose your friends and where you go. DON'T let him get away w/ that.
2007-01-13 11:31:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He manipulates you and you seems like it, because otherwise you wouldn't ask any questions here, just go whatever you want to go and do what simple, normal common sense will tell you is all right to do. Common, don't you know it yourself???
2007-01-13 11:38:55 · answer #6 · answered by Bella 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go go go go go go he is just controlling you you have to have an outlet besides him and if he cant deal with it the he can leave you deserve to be with your friends
2007-01-13 12:23:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless there is more to this than you are saying ... why are u2 still together
2007-01-13 11:41:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you with this controlling jerk?
2007-01-13 11:20:57 · answer #9 · answered by Poppet 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋