My divorce will be final soon and I don't know if I should go back to my maiden name or keep it for the sake of my kids. I want to change it but then again don't want everyone at work to know my situation.
2007-01-13 11:06:48 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you have children keep your current name so it is the same as your kids.
But if you don't have any kids change it back, why keep his name?
2007-01-13 11:12:18 · answer #1 · answered by Powder Hound 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is kind of like wearing a wedding ring after your spouse has died. The rule of thumb there is to wear it as long as you still feel married to the person.
While this is a significantly different situation, the principle is still sound in some respects. Taking the name of your husband is a symbol of commitment, and in some ways, submission to his will (but on a much slighter level. I don't wanna go all biblical on ya). Personally I feel that names are important, and powerful. If you don't feel the need to have your husband's name any more, change back. And while it's true that changing your name will make things awkward for the kids, and announce it to everybody at work, those are things that every divorcee goes through, and most children of divorce go through as well. It's not going to break your kids, and you'll get through the embarassment at work.
Consider this; if you kept his name, and if you were to get remarried later in life, would you keep your ex-husbands name or take the name of your new husband? If you kept the old name, how would your new husband feel about that? And if you changed names again, you'd be putting the kids in an awkward spot again. Then you'd really be stuck.
The most important thing is to make sure you have a name that you are comfortable with for the rest of your life. Your name does define who you are, and having to have your divorce follow you around for the rest of your life is going to be tough enough if you do it with his name. If that isn't an issue for you, it may be worth it just to keep the name and avoid the paperwork involved. But most of all, as long as you love your kids and they love you, it won't matter to them what your name is. And if people talk at work, don't worry about it. Soon enough that new secretary will start sleeping with the tech support guy and they'll talk about that instead.
2007-01-13 19:29:49 · answer #2 · answered by AbbeyDLaurence 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can keep your Married name for now. I have done so for over 10 years after my own divorce was final, since I shared a son with my ex. It's a bit of a hassle to do a name change, you need all your original and divorce judgement/documentation. Every time you want to cross the border you will need all above papers and a consent signature from your ex. In any case I changed my name back only recently, and you can stay as you are for now, especially if you want to keep things private at work.
2007-01-13 19:41:21 · answer #3 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went back to my maiden name after my divorce and it was complicated initially but wasn't as hard as I thought it'd be. I had to change bills, etc but I wanted my maiden name back. I have 5 children...2 with my ex husbands name and 3 with my ex boyfriends last name...all different from mine and my kids don't ask why theirs is different so I don't regret my decision to go back to my maiden name. If it isn't going to be a hassle to you with all your name changing stuff its not going to cost you anything to change it back so why not do it if thats what you wanna do.
2007-01-13 19:34:23 · answer #4 · answered by wranglerchic74 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would keep the same last name as your kids.... My mom did and it made it so much easier, it saved me from having to explain to my friends why we have different last names. Divorce is hard enough as is.
2007-01-13 19:15:09 · answer #5 · answered by *Just Married* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would keep your married name for now, like you said for the kids. Down the road if you marry again you can change it then.
2007-01-13 19:43:40 · answer #6 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could change it back and keep your name at work the same. Lots of people have professional names. A stock broker I worked with her legal name was Divine (2nd marriage) but her professional name was Bennett (1st marriage). I did bookkeeping for a doctor, her legal name was McCoy (2nd marriage) and her professional name was Rogers (1st marriage).
2007-01-13 19:18:50 · answer #7 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep it for a while, then change it when your kids leave the house
2007-01-13 19:33:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I retained my 'married' last name to avoid confusion for my children. You are NOT required to change your name but the decision is yours. There's also less paperwork to change if you keep your 'married' last name.
2007-01-13 19:12:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would change my name cuz everytime you look at it you will be reminded of all the trouble again. and the kids shouldn't really care about a name. it's just a name
2007-01-13 19:10:55 · answer #10 · answered by **~Alaiyo~** 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋