I get really upset with women and hold grudges. Why?

Question

I don't know why i can just cut them off and never talk to them again even family. I find that women are the thing i most desire but that they also piss me off. Sometimes i realize i was at fault but by then it is to late to salvage the relationship. I'm not sure how to stop this pattern and end this pain?

Answer 1

Whoa smurf-
Never make mistakes- amazing! I'm only human.
Its called forgiveness for you both.
Release that anger and just talk to them.

"Grudges" [anger/pain-emotins] are sometimes tools to strengthen one's self esteem from a painful emotional or physical issue. Often they can be dismissed with a few key words and repeated patterns of encouragement and dismissal of the importance of that event.

A good friend can study the actions and reactions and will learn how to defuse them..

Now- The ironic thing is- your behavior is the same- maybe that was the "root" for this being an issue.

Answer 2

UHHHHH . . . am I the only sane person reading this question? You are absoultely correct/right/sane/justified/whatever to be bothered by such behavior. Too many women fuel themselves with the adrenaline rushes they get from starting and holding petty arguments. It is an epidemic. The only question you have to answer about yourself is the following . . . are you instigating these arguments? This will be hard since few people are honest with themselves. But,even if it is a subconcious thing, you should know if you are doing something. Another very strong possibility is that you are very kind and sensitive to others' opinions of you. Exhibiting kindness towards some women is like the act of becoming fearful in a dog's presence. They can smell it! My wife cries all the time about things women have said to her. I ask to hear the story. On one occassion I confronted the woman she was crying about. I only did so because this woman had absolutely no leg to stand on whatsoever. She only got away with this because my wife is so passive.

You need to read Jay Carter's book "nasty people."


In summation:
1.)Are you the one who is in fact being malicious?
2.)If NO, then why in God's holy name would you think that you had something wrong with you for being hurt? Being hurt by someone who insults you is not insane/codependent/wierd/whatever!!!!!!!!!! So F those B's.

Also I must agree with what another answerer said about people not wanting to change or be honest with themselves. It is very unlikely that these women will change. Backstabbing becomes an addiction.

Answer 3

r u mad at your mother?
if so it stems from there dear. learn to forgive and let go.
this'll help u in future and present relations w/women.
remember that forgiving does not mean that what she did was okay, it just means u love urself enough to cut it loose and move on. someday maybe u'll have compassion and love for her?
don't know the situation tho.
not all women are the same either. just like all men aren't the same.
ur only hurting urself w/these grudges. anger eats at the soul. that is why love and forgiveness are so important 4u :o)
take care.

Answer 4

You need a woman friend who is explicitly not a sex object, who can talk honestly with you about how you relate to women. Traditionally, this would be an elder female of the tribe; the crone priestess, if you will. Can you talk to your grandmother? An older aunt?

Answer 5

They say people never change. what if you just accepted yourself the way you are? How would that work?
Would you avoid women in the first place? Or would you just accept this is my cycle? Everyone has something detrimental that they do. This is what you do.

Answer 6

Your afraid, answered in your sentence "i find that women are the thing i most desire" you do not want to get hurt?

Answer 7

Are you male or female?
I am thinking you are a male.
I am thinking you might be my brother.

He has cut off his mother ( cant blame him there )
He has cut me off
He has cut our sister off

I miss him

If it is you, please get in touch, I am not that hard to find, you know where the older sister is, where she was when you disappeared.

Dont worry about the mother, she will never change!!

Answer 8

if u cant do the time dont do the crime..lol always wanted to say that...but seriously sorry girls are like that, they hold grudges, its wat we do lol ive held a particular grudge for erm....5 years still counting lol coz women are more self concious or sensitive they tend to get hurt easier so be careful think b4 u speak or do or wateva lol good luck x x x

Answer 9

You need to get in touch with your inner female.