People i care about are giving me advice and just when i make up my mind on my own they get upset when i don't take theirs the problem is it pushes people away and they get annoyed with me i don't know what to do.
2007-01-13 10:15:49 · 14 answers · asked by smurf 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Oh you asnwered it in line one of the explaination.
Try this- Thank them everytime. I appreciate that option, is validation for their caring and effort. I love you and appreciate your concern, yet you know me, sometimes I have to fall on my face before I get the message.
it works everytime for me.
2007-01-13 10:19:45 · answer #1 · answered by Denise W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I advice you that don't tell them that you're not going to follow their advice but tell them that their advice has change your life and now you have started making your own decisions. Keep thinking them for the wonderful advice they gave you as you follow your own heart. In short thank them not not following their advice and they will be happy. Normally I stay away after giving any advice because my advice hardly ever works and I don't have the courage to the consequences of my advice if followed to the letter.
2007-01-13 18:25:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you ask for advice and do not follow it, you are basically telling them that you think their wisdom is worthless.
It's like asking someone for a ring, and never wearing it, or asking them for food, then throwing it in the garbage instead of eating it.
I have found in my years that most of the time, when people ask for advice, they're not really looking for help, they're just trying to justify a decision that they have already made their mind up on.
My question to you is; after you go your own way, do you find that the pesron you asked was right...but then still continue to ask for and ignore their advice?
2007-01-13 18:21:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you say people.. that implies a few.. So I am curious if you get advise from people because you are one of those types of people who doesn't always make wise choices..
And if you don't take advise because then you feel you gave in.. and you want to feel more independent! So you would rather make a bad choice for self status..
There is nothing wrong with advise.. You should follow good advise .. you should make wise and good choices.. it has nothing to do if it came from you or not.. it has to do with your final decision.
2007-01-13 18:22:25 · answer #4 · answered by Esther J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well as long as you didn't ask them, or well even when you did, people should respect your descision in the end!!! But be sure to , if it's against the advice givven you asked for, to explain to them why you did it, then all there is left, is a person who's learining life, and you should be able too, as long as you're not a drama-lama when things go wrong ofcourse
2007-01-13 18:22:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about it...what would these people do if their advice got you into trouble, or got you stuck in a situation you wouldn't want to be in? Most likely you would hear " you didn't have to listen to me!!", so don't take it all to heart. You are the one who has to follow through what ever it is your heart or head says to do. Take care...and try to have a good day...no advice intended!!!
2007-01-13 18:25:38 · answer #6 · answered by momofatsc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand. These people you are talking about are looking to fulfill one of their needs by doing that, not one of your's. You can do more things, like...
- asking them why is so important for them that you do this
or
- not asking them for advice
or
- say "that's a very good idea, I will think about it"
But that's quite a generalization "people", "always". What do you do for this experience to repeat?
2007-01-13 18:50:48 · answer #7 · answered by Ronald Vexa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this sounds like a very common misunderstanding. When you tell others about your problems, they want to solve it for you. But that's not what you need - you are looking for someone to listen to you and support you. Instead, you get someone wanting to fix it for you.
the solution is to tell them up front - "I'm just looking for someone to listen to me and support me as I figure out what to do, can I talk to you?" Don't ask for advice, because that's not really what you need. Ask for them to listen and understand.
2007-01-13 18:19:46 · answer #8 · answered by Janelle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Set them straight.
Tell them ur not interested in their advice and will make ur own decisions accordingly.
Tell 'em it's NONE of their business and to get off your tail
2007-01-13 18:29:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
generally people give advice to help u but ultimatly ur right its your decision, but at least try to listen to other peoples thoeries sometimes it better to get a different point of view good luck x x x
2007-01-13 18:18:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋