I don't want to wear a wedding ring. Shouldn't she just drop it?

Question

I have always felt that we should have enough respect for each other not to force something that makes the other uncomfortable.

Trust me - there have been things that I have asked her to do that she refused because she was simply not comforable. Did I force the issue? No, I dropped it.

I've never in my life worn jewelry of any sort. I don't even wear a watch.

I am simply not comfortable wearing jewelry.

It has NOTHING to do with hiding the fact that I will be married. Everyone knows my status. And anyone can take a ring off when s/he wants to.

She loves her rings, but if she didn't want to wear them, it wouldn't bother me in the least.

Shouldn't she show me the same respect I've shown her in the past and just drop this issue?

There've been things that I've felt very strong about where she just wouldn't budge because she was genuinely uncomfortable.

Her discomfort made no sense to me, but I accepted it. I just don't understand why I shouldn't have the same consideration.

Answer 1

Simple solution: compromise.

Why don't you both yield to the other's request on certain occasions? Not necessarily every day, but at least at certain special times.

She accedes to your wishes on certain occasions and you wear the ring on certain occasions. This way neither of you has to suffer in discomfort constantly and you maintain your principles of mutual respect.

This way, as some others have pointed out, you both will know that you are important to each other to put your preferences aside to please your mate, but treat each other fairly.

You sacrifice for her and she sacrifices for you. Perhaps it won't be quite as bad as she or you anticipate.

This way you both win and live happily ever after.

Answer 2

I understand the fact that you both have respect for each other by not forcing the other to do something that makes the other person feel uncomfortable. I think that's admirable. However, now that you're getting married you need to understand that sometimes you need to compromise in marriage. If the only reason you don't want to wear the ring is because it's uncomfortable to you, then I would give it some more thought. A wedding ring is a symbol of love and devotion. It shows the world that you are committed to someone. Is it worth making her feel that you don't love her enough to wear it, just because you don't like wearing jewelry? I think her reasons for wanting you to wear it are valid and are a priority over comfort. You probably won't even know it's there.

Answer 3

Due to our professions we don't always wear our rings. As a matter of fact we pretty much only wear them on special occasions when we dress up. Perhaps that is a compromise that could be made? If either of us wear rings to our respective jobs the danger of losing that finger, or even the hand, is magnified greatly. For us the ring just symbolizes the marriage, it isn't what makes it. If someone asks, yes we are married, enough said. Like I said, maybe you can find a compromise like special occasions or something.

Answer 4

No she should not it's part of marriage and if you felt that way you shouldn't have accepted one on your wedding day! Get over it! You are the one with the problem you should have told her long before the wedding you felt the way you did if you had, it wouldn't be a problem now, so compromise with her when you take her out and/or when you are going out without her you should wear your wedding ring, on those occasions, at least. Whats the big deal? B/c "I don't like jewlery" you sound like a child! Are you not proud to be a married "man" well guess what this is something married men do? Your ego will eventually get in the way of your marriage and you won't have to worry about it anyway before too long! Hopefull you both find a happy medium on the issue! It is a small issue that could turn drastic and you don't even realize it!

Answer 5

I would be in the same boat as you. I don't wear any jewelry, just not comfortable. But the question you have to ask yourself is simple economics. How much money would you spend on dinner or a vacation to impress her and show her how much you care and love her. The money you give up is a sacrifce just as the uncomfort of wearing a ring, but is the joy and happiness that wearing the ring will bring her be cheapring then the expensive vaction you would be willing to give her. I think as much as I would hate it and I would definately want her to know how much I would hate it that my uncomfort would be a very inexpensive price to pay to make her that much happier.

Answer 6

Call me old-fashioned, but I think that both men and women should wear their wedding rings. To me, it's a sign of disrespect for being married and for one's mate, if you don't wear a ring. I'm not married, but I've wanted to be for years. If you have a small, unobtrusive piece of jewelry that can bring to mind your beloved every time you see the jewelry, how great is that? :) I can only imagine being able to have such a great feeling.

ALSO, consider this -- I know some folks who got hit on by others, and/or asked out by others, who assumed they were single. These were MARRIED folks, but the people who asked them out had no idea, because the married folks wore no rings. So, there's another reason to wear the ring: you'll save yourself, and possibly many OTHER people, from being unduly embarrassed.

Answer 7

Talk about being put between a rock and a hard place. If you concede to her, your abondoning your rihgt to chose to wear what you want. And if you don't you run the risk of making her believe you don't want others to believe you're married.

If I were in her place I probably wouldn't drop it either and would think there was some deep unconcious feeling that you don't want to reveal (i.e. that you are married and unavailable to other women) to her or yourself.

Now your reason that you have never worn jewelry in your life really doesn't sound like much of an excuse. Wearing a wedding ring is a symbol of your everlasting love and your dedication to each other. If you feel like you shouldn't parade then it's something you two need to discuss about seriously.

Answer 8

My marriage is the opposite i don't wear jewerly but i love my ring ...I just don't wear it my husband has no problem with it since we are married and why do i need to have a ring to prove it ...the ring is just a symbol you don't need one to get or be married...i do wear my ring when my husband go out for a fancy night out something we don't do often we have three kids so we are talking once everycouple of months....show her your letter and she may seem how you feel if not compermise it is the best advice for marriage

Answer 9

absolutely....if your not comforatble wearing a ring, maybe you can compromise, do you weat a chain of any sort? it maybe a thought to wear it there, and no it's not a chick thing to wear it around you neck. men do, do that at times, especially if they're mechanics. I do not think your hiding something, your just not comforatble. a marriage is 50/50 and she needs to respect you as much as you are respecting her wishes on certain issues. yes I am a woman, and yes there are a lot of things I totally disagree with when it comes to my relationship, but, there is always a solution., insecurity should not happen between a man and a woman whom are married.

Answer 10

Yes, she should drop the issue. My wife was the same way. I can't stand anything on my hands or wrists. I don't wear a watch, I rely on my pager & cell phone to tell the time. I offered to wear the ring around my neck on a chain, but that wasn't good enough. So I used to play around with the thing all the time and take it off temporarily, especially at work when typing on the computer. Sure enough, one day I forgot to put it back on again and the next day when I went in to work it was gone. Stolen by the cleaning crew. I told her it made no difference and that having a ring on my hand would not stop me from cheating on her if I wanted to because I would just take it off. That's when she gave up.