How do you deal with your parents getting divorced?

Question

my parents told me this morning they are getting a divorce. i have never felt so usless in my life, i have never cried so much. how do i deal with this? i've tried to keep busy but i keep breaking down and crying. my dad, one of my best friends, won't be there every day anymore. i'm so lost right now, i just need a little advice.

by the way..all the answers i am getting are directed towards a little kid. i'm 17, i know, i'm not all grown up or whatever, but i'm not a baby. i need some serious advice
thanks

Answer 1

Just believe, that you are not at fault. It's hard to comprehend, at your age. But their attitude is at eachother. Do your best to Love `em both. They're both gonna need you there. And you're gonna have to hold `em both up. Life has it's ups and downs, Don't let this one stop you. You're gonna find, two people that are wanting to be your friend. You need `em too.

Answer 2

Divorce affects everyone but insead of blaming urself and asking all the wrong question, do this talk to you mom or dad find out why this is happening and if you are concerned with not seeing your dad you know you can live with him if you want you are old enough to tell a judge that, and you are right ur not a kid and no one should be treating you as such but you as a young women need to let them know how you feel inside about this cause if you dont and you keep it inside it will become a huge problem later for you in life, and remeber this nothing stays the same and we grow we learn and hopefully that makes us better people as time goes on. You need a outlet either a journal,music, or something that makes you feel at peace.
I really hope this helps some and I know things look dark and rainy right now but there is always sunshine on the other side of the mountain.

Answer 3

Sorry to hear that ur parents want a divorce. Doesn't matter what age u r it still hard. You love both parents the same. Glad to hear ur dad's ur best friend. Maybe if you can think of the quality time you can spend with each parent one on one. They may have a little more time to spend quality time with you now too. It's not good for them to stay together if they are going to fight or ignore each other all the time. that's not fair for them. I know ur hurting but so r they. More than u can imagine. It's not fair never is, but you know what maybe you will see them happier then they have been for a while. It's hard only having one parent there all the time but you can phone the other one or just drop in to spend time with them. Your relationship doesn't have to change with them just because their relationship changed. Talk to them tell them how you feel, try hard not to shut them out because I am sure they both love you and don't want you to hurt. Good luck and I am sure thing will be fine, just keep talking to both of them.

Answer 4

I am so sorry. my parents divorced last July and it was probably the hardest thing I have ever gone through. Cry it out. It's better in the long run. I refused to cry, I refused to even acknowledge it happening. Every night I just lay in bed staring at the ceiling. I was sure that it was my fault. Of course it wasn't but that's the way I felt. I walked around stony-eyed for weeks, until I finally couldn't hold it in any longer, and by then, my dad was gone. Talk to them, tell them how you're feeling. If you're going to be living with your mom, take some time to just be with your dad. Take him out somewhere, do something he loves. Do whatever. Just let it be the two of you somewhere, away from your mom or anyone else who knows you. Remember the good times. One thing that really helped me, was making a dad book. (i no totally amber brown) but seriously. just a scrapbook with pictures of him, and you, and anyone else who you care about. It's important to be strong. that doesn't mean you can't show emotion, only realize that you can get through this. because you can. you're strong. you're awesome. you can get through this stage of your life and it'll only make you a stronger person.

if you want to, you can email me at [e-mail]

keep your head high. things will get better

Answer 5

I am so sorry!

Don't blame yourself. Try not to take sides. Take things one day at a time. Crying is ok. Don't you have someone you can talk to? It will get better. My parents are divorced and have been for 25 years. (Yea, that makes me old!!) I know you can't appreciate that now but I have a fab step mom and a great step dad and my kids have the double amount of loving grandparents. If someone would have said that to me when I was where you were I would have rolled my eyes and said they were nuts, but look for your own silver lining.

Answer 6

I know it's hard, but you have to try to accept it and you should realize that you are still going to see your dad. Maybe not every day, but you will see him. Sometimes grown ups have to get divorced, you are not at all to blame. Your parents have decided that they don't want to be together anymore. It doesn't meant they don't love you anymore, or any less. I wish you the best and hope you feel better soon.

Answer 7

I know that this sucks for you. The best things you should know, and not only for this, but all of life? Other peoples business impacts us but does not have anything to do with us, and always base your personal opinion of someone on YOUR personal experience with them.

Sorry and Good luck.

Answer 8

I have been through what your going trough. Its tuff but trust me stay with both of them during visitation or what ever the court papers say in the long run you and them will go on there may be new folks in your life but stay in touch will your folks and how they are with. New people with your raising is not that bad.

Answer 9

Do Not Take any side.. Love your mom and Love your Dad...
Time will past by... I know it hurt.. NOW but some day you will under stand...

Answer 10

take sides with the one who you like the best and refuse to talk to the other one