Feelong a bit low, probably PMT. Cheer me up, lovelies!
2007-01-13 08:41:26 · 35 answers · asked by TellMeWhy? 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php
2007-01-13 08:47:29 · answer #1 · answered by runner08 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........Duh!
I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head.
I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.
I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.
2007-01-13 08:48:26 · answer #2 · answered by ~The Medieval Islander~ 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Try this. "Doctor, doctor, I can't stop singing The Green Green Grass of Home." The Doc says, "That sounds like a Tom Jones illness to me". I said, "Is it common?". The Doc said, It's not unusual!"
A bloke commented to his mate that his "Mother in Law was like an Angel". His mate replied, "Your lucky mate, mine's still alive!"
2007-01-13 11:18:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A boat sinks in the middle of the pacific.
On board were a Jew, an Arab, and an Indian.
There is a shark attack, and the shark eats the Jew, the Arab, and circles back, but leaves the Indian alone.
He looks to the sky and says, 'thankyou for saving me'.
At this the shark turns round and says, 'Don't thank him. I had one of you last year and my a*rse is still burning!'
2007-01-13 08:49:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sending you all my physic greetings and hope things get better for you , and as my much missed mum used to say there's plenty of people in the churchyard would swap you !
2007-01-13 08:52:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chocolate, cup of tea, hot water bottle and logging off your pc but saying that reading some of the questions and answers on here could put a smile on your face.
Hope you feel better soon
2007-01-13 08:46:33 · answer #6 · answered by Bristol_Gal 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Okay here we go....just picture me dressed in clown clothes, a red nose and a big floppy hat....now I am dancing pulling ballon animals out of my butt and then I am dancing a little jig while playing a flute...Hope you enjoyed yourself....I did and now I am in a great mood.
2007-01-13 08:51:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im feeling a bit down right now but i can let you cry on my shoulder.. Please feel better, remember the good things.. Smile, put your chin up and walk past your pain.. Cheer up hun.
Have a nice day!
2007-01-13 08:45:53 · answer #8 · answered by DARIA. - JOINED MAY 2006 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sending a hug
2007-01-13 08:59:56 · answer #9 · answered by Kizzy_ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a guy walks into a bar 12 stitches
2007-01-13 08:48:57 · answer #10 · answered by stu 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your a beautiful, distinguished woman too many great qualities to list.
2007-01-13 08:47:06 · answer #11 · answered by HazyMind 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋