I'm a 24 year old, single female graduate student and I'm never been confused about so many things in my entire life. Part of me wants to be independent but the other part of me would love to start a family. One day I love the perks of being an adult and the next day I long for the bliss of childhood. I'm not sure what to do or if what I'm experiencing in normal. I could used some words of wisdom from anyone one on how to make it through this stage of life unskaved. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!
2007-01-13 08:19:16 · 17 answers · asked by Jassyjuju 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Yes, your feelings are completely normal for a person in early adulthood. It is a confusing and scary time. Don't worry, it will get better as you have more experience and as you mature. Coming to terms with the things you describe are the central psychological task of your stage of life.
A few comments: Please do not have children until you are a little more centered. First, because once you have children, your opportunities for discovery and exploration will be seriously curtailed, and second, it is an awesome responsibility and very hard work, so it is best to be more psychologically ready so as to be a mentally healthy parent for your child. There is still lots of time to have a family. I had my first child at 37, and all went well.
Also, though you now have the responsibilities of adulthood, you never have to give up your sense of joy, wonder, play, silliness, etc. from childhood. In fact, I recommend you cultivate them.
You don't have to figure it all out all at once. Life is a process, and it evolves. If you are honest with yourself, trust your gut, use your head, do your reasonable best, and try to do what is mentally and physically healthy, you will know what to do when you need to do it.
Best wishes.
2007-01-17 01:51:57 · answer #1 · answered by curious1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Part of me wants to be independent but the other part of me would love to start a family. One day I love the perks of being an adult and the next day I long for the bliss of childhood"
That feeling never goes away.
Use your head to decide when your heart wants two different things.
2007-01-13 08:24:30 · answer #2 · answered by Jessy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are experiencing is normal. I am 32 and felt the same when I was in my 20's.
I will give you a tip. Give your career some focus and try living on your own (away from your parents)(if you aren't already) for a year or two.
Guys find independant females more attractive. Plus it will give you more time to know about you and what your strengths are. Plus once you are in a relationship, you won't be so dependant on your mate, and won't be worried if you see him chatting to another female.
That's not to say that if you see him do "other things" with this female, that you shouldn't do something about it. If he does, at least you know you can move on and won't need to subject yourself to a hurtful relationship.
2007-01-13 08:31:42 · answer #3 · answered by Spikey and Scruffy's Mummy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confusion? Yes..not knowing what it is you really want? Yes...all a part of the growing process. And let me tell you, as a 54 year old woman..i too long for the bliss of childhood..but hey, it ain't gonna happen. As for stages of life, i don't think i have ever been as happy as i am now..I don't think i would want to be a 20 yr. old today. And no one that i know of has ever gone through life unscathed...take your lumps, learn and listen.
2007-01-13 08:30:44 · answer #4 · answered by Shar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take your time you are still young. you don't want to get in a hurry stay focused on career but not so focused u don't have room for anything else relationships are bumpy enough as it is without rushing into something just because you think its what you might want to be happy. when the right person comes along you will know it but don't go looking for them just live each day the best you can and let life and love run its own course.
2007-01-13 08:29:52 · answer #5 · answered by renae 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have quite a bit of time left before you have to worry about getting a man . I suggest you get out and enjoy life, join a group or two that has both men and woman. That way you know any guy you meet already has something in common with you.
2007-01-13 08:47:50 · answer #6 · answered by Mad Maxine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unscathed? Getting scathed is what life is all about, suffering does build character if that's any consolation. When I was your age 24 was middle aged, childhood is no longer an option (unless you have v. rich parents) so go for it, and remember to laugh at the odd scar you do get (after-wards).
2007-01-13 08:27:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-19 22:41:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be yourself, and not worry so much. Follow your heart and head at an even pace. I think it better to get a career then a family, but you have to decide what will make you happier, weigh the pros and cons of each
2007-01-13 08:25:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure that you have done everythign you wanted to do before starting a family. I wish I wouldve waited because there are so many things that I wish I wouldve done before I had a child. I don't regret having him of course. Make a list of things you want to do before you get settled and do them. Then you won't be wondering what to do!
2007-01-13 08:33:40 · answer #10 · answered by Hooga 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋