now I'm confused. I had taken two pregnancy tests last night and miscarried today. I spoke to the father about it. My two children from my previous marriage and I were supposed to go over there today as we had done on many occasions before. When I called him to let him know that I was on my way, he acted kind of cold. Like he was angry with me. I asked him flat out, but he said no, that he wasn't angry with me. I then told him we were on our way, and he said not to bother because he was tired. Not in a kind way. A good one. We have been seeing each other since June and last week, for the first time, he told me he loved me. It was sort of weird, just "I love you" at the end of our conversation before hanging up. i said it back. We've been saying it a few times. So, I'm wondering, what's the deal? We never planned on children and this was a surprise. You would think that he as a man would be happy. What's going on?
2007-01-13 08:13:57 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Women's Health
Sounds to me like he just may need some space. He may just be sorthing things out. Guys aren't nearly as quick about realizing their feelings as women are. It may take a couple of days for him to even figure out how he feels, or why he is feeling what he is.
I've been through the same thing, my girlfriend and I had an unexpected pregnancy, followed by a miscarriage. It's an emotional time for both of you, so there's going to be some discomfort as you see each other in ways you haven't seen each other yet. If the first news of this for him was last night or today, then give him a little time, don't pressure him into talking or meeting, let him initiate that. When he's ready to talk about it, he'll bring it up.
The worst thing you can do is push the issue, it's like trying to rush grass to grow. It just needs to happen in it's own time.
2007-01-13 08:35:43 · answer #1 · answered by Flug 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is probably a very emotional day for you.
I wouldn't worry about the guy you are seeing. This news has probably been ery emotional for him too. You just told him he was going to be a father in the same breath you said he wasn't.
Give it a couple of days, and then call or go see him personally to have a talk. Listen to what he has to say and try to put yoursel into his shoes.
Good luck,
2007-01-13 16:27:18 · answer #2 · answered by mellybee4321 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would try and open up discussion on whether he wants more children or not. If you are planning a family it needs to be something you both want. Starting a family independently may require you to continue to remain a single parent of a third child.
He may be grieving over the loss of the child but not know how to express that.
2007-01-13 16:20:19 · answer #3 · answered by Joan Y 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What are you doing, risking pregnancy with someone you're not married to and barely know? And with two children already to care for?
Please start listening to Dr. Laura, annoying as she is, and get her book, "Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives"
It will save you and your children a lot of heartache.
By the way, I used to hate Dr. Laura. But with time has come wisdom, and I see now that she has a point. Go and listen to her and your life has a chance of starting to get better.
2007-01-13 16:19:55 · answer #4 · answered by Investor 2006 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think he is grieving as he wanted a child. You will need to give him some time to sort through his feelings. Perhaps you can get your 2 kids babysat for the evening so that the two of you can work this out.
So sorry for your miscarriage.
2007-01-13 16:17:24 · answer #5 · answered by D N 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He's grieving the loss of the child. He's angry, sad, and it seems like he's mad at you. Of course it wasn't your fault! Try to find a way to talk to him- show up, e-mail, phone him. Everybody grieves in his own way. But you two must talk or your relationship will suffer.
2007-01-13 16:20:21 · answer #6 · answered by Bud's Girl 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He dosn't love you.
2007-01-14 01:23:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 5⤋