Moving and Making New Friends?

Question

I am a teenager and am suddenly being forced into a move. What suggestions do you have on making new friends? Is it hard to make new friends? What characteristics make someone likeable?

Answer 1

Sorry you're having to move because when you're a teenager, friendships are extremely important in your life and to be taken away from them and to have to start over is a huge disruptive change you'll have to make and I urge you to continue your friendships by writing letters, instant messaging, etc.

Is it hard to make new friends? Depends on your personality, where you live, how much effort you put into it, and other aspects such as do you have a bicycle or access to a public transportation? Or do you live in a rural area where houses are far apart? Do you go to a large or small school?

Schools have organizations, clubs, activities etc. you can join and I urge you to start with this.

Your churches have bible studies, youth groups with activities and those are smart choices.

Organizations in your city such as christian organizations would be a good choice to join.

Volunteer work is another option where you'd make new friends like working on Habitat for Humanity houses when they fix them up.

Sports activities at school.

Joining a health club or YMCA you might meet people.

Start a club or activity yourself like a games night or card playing a certain night of the week and invite people.

Start a crafts activity group or crocheting or knitting group or
quilting group. If you start something, you'll be surprised that people may be receptive to this.

Selling something like Avon products could help you meet people and you could even have parties like if you sold makeup etc.
You're not too young to do this, and it would teach you how to budget and operate a business. You could open your own checking account and learn how to balance a checkbook, etc.

Become a mentor to a younger child or offer tutoring services. You would benefit from teaching someone and improving their lives, and this could open doors as you would go to people's homes or they would come to yours.

If you like to sing, join a chorus or choir in a church or with organizations in your city.

If you play an instrument, play music at your church youth group.

If you are extremely shy and not real confident or are a loner or have certain things that set you apart and make you different from others, it is harder to make friends and you face a greater challenge. Seeking out people who share your hobbies would help you, and reading books on how to build your confidence and learn to become assertive and to overcome your shyness would help.

The characteristics that make people likeable include having the ability to have fun, having a healthy sense of humor, having patience and control of one's temper, good communication skills, having an open heart and mind, avoiding negativity like being judgmental, gossiping, and other antisocial behavior.

Having a healthy sense of humor means avoiding sarcasm or laughing at the expense of others in a demeaning or condescending way, allowing others to laugh at you, to laugh at you, and to be able to laugh at yourself, taking others and yourself not too seriously, because life is just too short to be ultra-sensitive and take everything personally and it is a good thing to seek out humor in all situations, as laughter can be healing, enlightening, and helps put things into the proper perspective, whereas dwelling on imagined hurts, etc. can only lead to getting bummed out and introspective, self-alienating behavior.

If others reject you, identify the reason and if it not your fault, move on because there are others that will accept you because true friends love you despite your faults, and will give you good pointers to improve yourself, and support you when you need help. Life has many rejections and you need to learn to cope with that. High school is a training ground for learning how to interact with others in society. If you learn to let things roll off your shoulder and to keep a lightened heart, to smile even though some days you feel like the world is against you, you will overcome the small stuff and prepare yourself for the bigger stuff when you become an adult.

Other characteristics that make one appealing to others are being physically clean and practicing good hygiene (floss those teeth!), an unrestrained broad smile, eye contact, having good listening skills, ability to be spontaneous and not too inhibited, becoming a leader and not a follower, being not afraid to speak up and voice your opinions, ideas, etc.

Having a variety of interests, hobbies, activites. Willingness to invest time and energy into friendships. Being unselfish. Being honest. Ability to accept constructive criticism and act on it to improve oneself.

Ability to speak up clearly and not mumble in low voice; this gets others attention whereas if you are extremely polite and hardly speak up at all, you won't be noticed and will blend in to the scenery and nobody will find you interesting.

Being knowledgeable about a variety of subjects. Read newspapers, read about news on internet, read numerous books, which will give you things to talk about and this will make you more interesting to others.

Aim to become an expert at at least one thing. You will amaze and dazzle others. If you have gifts, capitalize on them like if you are able to write poetry, sing, etc.

Being open to making friends who are different from you (may not be real attractive, or may have acne, etc.) will open many doors to you, even when dating as too many people are perfectionistic when seeking out friends or dates and many good guys and girls get passed over because of thes superficial flaws which with time, will improve.

Don't dwell excessively on dieting and body image--too many girls do this and it becomes an unhealthy obsession. Accept the fact that everyone has different builds and body shapes and genetic makeup, that we can't change a round face but you can modify your hairstyle or makeup to make it appear not to be round.

Dieting to extremes can decay your teeth, harm your bones and body organs, and inhibit your body's growth. Avoid diets and diet supplements that are all the rage, and try to eat sensibly and exercise regularly. People find a person attractive if they have a sense of self-love, in that you love yourself enough to take care of your health, and not look like a skeleton on a starvation diet.

Posture is important. Stand tall, learn to swing your arms naturally and try not to be encumbered by a huge, heavy backpack or armload of books--get a rolling backpack on wheels because those can cause physical problems due to improper distribution of the load on your body. Sit up straight and keep feet flat on the floor.

Focus on deeper breathing from the diaphram (upper chest), not the abdomen (lower stomach), because good posture and proper breathing result in your feeling more awake, aware, energetic, and you will FEEL more confident. And others who see you sitting and standing tall will notice that this sets you apart from the others who slump and slouch. They will wonder what keeps you from slouching and will perceive this that you are confident and self-assured.

Body language is powerful. Learn about it. If you have arms crossed in front of you, it tells people non-verbally that you are on the defensive and not open to them. Study books on it. If you show people open palms, it means you are open to them. If you look away from others and don't give them eye contact, they might interpret this as you are not interested in them.

I hope these help!









Suggestions on making new friends:

Answer 2

It is hard to move to a new area when you're a teenager. Yes, I have a few suggestions. People like others that smile (or grin).
To make new friends, don't be afraid to smile since people prefer to be around those with a positive disposition. Keep a positive attitude about you- no matter what. Don't let anyone see you upset in the first couple of months you are there, as there are people who will choose to "test" you. If you don't act like anything bothers you, the bullies will leave you alone. Having an outgoing personality is helpful in making new friends too. I know you can do it. Good luck!

Answer 3

I'm sure it's hard because you're moving right in the middle of the year when everyone's already made friends and everything. But it'll be fine. I had to move in the middle of the year like that, too. I think you can tell if a person is likeable or not. I mean, you can tell if they really mean it, you just know. Like when you get there people are going to ask you your name and where you came from and stuff. Just be openminded and if you're nice, they'll have no reason not to like you. Just be yourself. You might try joining groups after school to find friends, but I wouldn't depend on it.. personal experience. I mean, you might meet a few friendly faces, that's true. But friends are people who are always close to you, who you can tell everything to, who understand you. Friends are not just people you are allowed to sit with at lunch. Well anyway, I think the people worth knowing will end up finding you. That's how it ended up with me. If not, there are bound to be some friendly faces at your school no matter where you go. Good luck!!

Answer 4

It's sorta difficult to make new friends cuz there's always the people who hate you for no reason and will find ways to hurt you. But try to find the nice people, the people who seem to like you and the ones who you think you'd feel the most comfortable with. Just say hi and start a small conversation with them.
If you drift off from people or get hurt in a relationship (in general) just try to move on and meet more people. It's not easy moving on in relationships, especially when you're new in town, but pain is the only way to make you stronger.
What makes people like you is a different answer from everybody. Basically though, as long as you are genuine and not fake, people will appreciate you. Be friendly, don't hang back and try to blend in with everybody else. At the same time though, don't try to get everyone's attention all the time.
You may find yourself alone or you may find yourself surrounded with great people on the first few days of school. Either way, just try your best to be happy and try your best to let people get to know you.

Who knows? Maybe there are some people out there who are looking for a friend like you. Just hold your head high and I'm sure you'll find some people to be friends with.

All the best!

Answer 5

Moving is ALWAYS tough. I think you should check out your new location for groups who share your interests. For example, if you're into dance, theater, hockey, find groups where you can pursue your interest. That way you'll have an immediate topic of conversation and something in common with the others. You can consider taking up something new like photography, a foreign language, a new dance style. Another way to meet new people is to contact nonprofits in the area. Tell them you're new in town and are interested in helping out. Ask if and when people your age are likely to be onsite and make plans to work with group where you'll have an opportunity to meet other teens.

I'd say be careful not to rule people out. Don't be too quick to limit your circle of friends. Remember, you'll be the new kid in town, literally. You won't know the past relationships between the "old timers" - you don't want to wind up in the middle of some long standing grudge match!

Most of all, don't be afraid to mix and mingle with a variety of people. Look for events that interest you and get out there! One final bit of advice, don't forget to follow-up on the contacts you make. If you want to get together with someone, take chance, invite them to hang out...

Good luck with the move!

Answer 6

Be yourself!!! Don't worry about impressing others, especially in High School. Just do what you want and act just like yourself and people will like you for who you are.

I know HS can be an awful pit of teenage girls acting out. But in real life those girls will get theirs. But it will wait until after HS. Because no woman will act that way in the real world. My daughter is a Senior and she is just now finding good friends who aren't little biaches. She started at her new school as a freshman.

Be yourself and love yourself!!

Answer 7

When you get to the new place join activities at school get involved with stuff...of course it is hard to make new friends it always is...but be yourself and have fun good luck!

Answer 8

Just be yourself. Don't be really shy communicate with others thats the way to make friends communication.

Answer 9

Get your child involved in a local community centre, maybe in sports, or interest groups. It's easy to make friends with like-minded individuals. Agreeableness is a good characteristic, being indiscriminantly nice.

Answer 10

well i have moved alot to so i understand ya its hard to make friends but just be yourself and peopl will like you thats what happend to me and i have alot of friends and bfs to

Answer 11

I have to move around alot too and the kids just come to me and ask for my name . well just be yourself