I miss her so much but can't contact her as what she did was wrong?

Question

What do you do to get over being dumped?

Answer 1

There are a lot of details missing here: like when did this happen, what were the issues that led to the breakup, etc.

But whatever they were... when you were "dumped", your interest level in your partner spiked (I am assuming it was pretty low--near 50%: only interested in them half the time when they were around) to somewhere around 85%. That's natural: something you didn't quite expect despite all the red flags and miscommunication happened, so you're trying to "figure" it out.

The hard part of that phase is that you tend to romanticize your partner forgetting their flaws and the things they did that contributed to the breakup, and you can tend to focus on your own flaws and play "what if" and "if only" games with yourself.

Also, your routine has been disrupted, so until a new routine settles in (and it will), you can feel like your life is on pause (try not to let this interfere with your work too much, etc).

After a time, you will become less interested in your former partner, and when this happens their flaws will be remembered, and then how they really treated you will come back to you, and it's natural to be a little angry at this time (because you had hopes for them that didn't pan out--they disappointed you).

Finally, you'll understand things in their proper context, you'll have learned from the experience, your self-confidence will return, and you'll just move on. There is no secret to to making this happen faster, but it's important to keep in mind that it will happen while you are in this state, and that when everything runs its natural coarse, you will have learned from the experience.

Hang in there.

BTW, next time you decide to open your heart like that to somebody, try to make sure they deserve somebody like you. Don't make yourself vulnerable to women with too many problems and don't fool yourself into thinking you can "help" somebody. Be selective with your attatchments: seek healthy, confident, happy women:)

I say this, and I am 43, and sometimes it seems all the good ones are already married:) Que sara, sara.

Answer 2

Time is a great healer, make sure you get out lots to meet new people, maybe join a local class of some sort to and this will help take your mind off things so you wont be pondering over things in your mind. Always remember there are plenty more fish in the sea so to speak. Good luck!

Answer 3

It's almost like grieving. Be down in the dumps for a while it's allowed ok. Then you get bored with that so you start to pull yourself together. Start going out....remember being single can be fun and you're off and running again. You'll be fine.

Answer 4

Wait, did she dump you? well then in that case it's not up to you to say that its her fault, if that's what your edging at, wrong or not she ended the relationship, in that case there's nothing you can do. Just try move on and keep your mind on other things, time will heal, even if it doesn't seem like it now.

Answer 5

Maybe she didnt dump you. Why cant you contact her?? What did she do that was so wrong??? If you really miss her then you will contact her. Maybe its just a misunderstanding so contact her. If you 2 love each other then youll work it out!

Answer 6

These are my lessons in love from a past relationship. You may find something of value hidden within my experience.

Lessons in Love.

True Love can never be guaranteed.

Don’t over react in any given situation.

Don’t become a victim of your own stupidity.

Be fully aware of all circumstances all of the time.

Remember that it is possible to be too self protective.

Be wary of miscommunication and misinterpretation.

Compromise with the one You Love as much as possible.

When in Love, always try and save the Love in times of crisis.

Remember that Love is as much a matter of choice as anything else.

The best way to remove yourself from blame is to think before You speak.

When it comes to Love and Romance, don’t hold back, give of yourself fully.

Don’t overstep the mark when it comes to another persons level of self-respect.

Always sleep on any major decisions or changes that You are thinking of making.

Look at the situation from the other persons perspective before making a mistake.

Try to live your life with prior hindsight to avoid living life in regret, hurt and pain.

Don’t continually look for the fairytale of Love and miss the Diamond before You.

In times of change, remain true to the one You love and don’t let circumstances alter.

When in Love always carry and have reminders of love all around You and on display.

Continue the Courtship of Love, Romance and affection throughout your relationship.

Never rake up old hurts to fill new wounds, accept the risk, bury the past and move on.

Always treat another as You would wish to be treated, however wronged You may feel.

At times of crisis focus on happier times, days and events and never let go of the dream.

If an argument occurs remove yourself from it as quickly and as diplomatically as possible.

Remember that even the slightest words of criticism can do more harm than good and cut deep.

If your loved one seems insecure and unsure then your job is to make them feel secure and sure.

Accept your differences and create a harmonious relationship that can withstand the test of time.

Ask questions to ensure that You are both on the same wave length and pathway of Life and Love.

Love your partner the most in times of crisis and the chances of losing them will be greatly reduced.

The best time to save a relationship is when You are in it and not after the event or years down the line.

Don’t focus on “I”, Focus on us, we, togetherness and a lifetime of selfless Romance, Love and Devotion.

Accept your loved one as a complete package . Take the good with the bad and the rough with the smooth.

Never allow the negative thoughts, words and actions of another to effect your words, thoughts and actions.

Remember that You are not the only person in the World that could offer a great life to the one that You Love.

Answer 7

Unfortunately, my friend, it takes time. And a grieving process that is very real. You may want to pack away anything that brings back memories, and to change your shopping and hang out habits. This is not the time to start a new romance. At first I removed his phone number from my cell and computer, then I put them back but changed the name to f u c k in g loser. It made me feel better. Stay as busy as you can. I do wish you the best.

Answer 8

you just got to keep telling yourself that you wont always feel so raw and devastated..in a few weeks you will feel better than you do now and so on, it will still hurt you to think about it, but you will learn how to divert your mind away from it..i was dumped 20 yrs ago and the pain i went through was unimaginable, still today, when i think about it i could still cry and am a happily married woman x good luck x

Answer 9

You don't love her, sweetie, you love what you THOUGHT she was, and they just ain't the same. And when that sinks in, you can rid yourself if these feelings, and find someone worthy of you. Isn't easy....... oh, no. It is difficult to accept the fact that we misjudge, and gave our hearts away and then get trounced on.. How do you get over being dumped? Find someone else.

Answer 10

Keep busy in a constructive way and know this - in a few days, weeks or months you will no longer pine for her.

It takes time to recover from a break-up and what you are feeling is normal.