Is it wrong to want the best for my wife?

Question

Is it so wrong that I want the best for my wife. When we got engaged I spent 6000 dollars on the engaement ring. She said she would be happy with a diamonique some knock off ring. I refuse to buy that but she says noone can tell the difference but i will know this cristmas i bought her diamond earing and another ring that cost me about a grand and she said that i was stupid for doing that why does she want me to buy cheap knock off stuff and not the real thing it really hurts me sometimes and i cant figure out why she does that is it wrong for me to want her to have the nicest things when i can afford to give them to her

Answer 1

Not everyone equates love with spending money. You should be happy that your wife isn't materialistic.

Answer 2

"Diamonds are Forever" is a campaign that was created by the De Beers diamond company based in London. The largest in the world. We buy our loved ones diamonds now because the De Beers company produced a brilliant and effective marketing campaign. Your wife may or may not be socially motivated by her lack of interest in diamonds. Regardless, love is not measured by money spent on diamonds. If you wife is not into that then do yourself a favor and save the money. If she is into that then show her you love her by earning and spending the cash on her, i.e. buy the diamonds. You would not like it if she bought you a $6000 suit (granted you dont wear suits) if the Men's Warehouse said the were the best. Relationships are best when partners listen to each other.
Also, FYI, a $2000 diamond sells for about $20 in places like Angola, Sierra Leone, Botswana, South Africa, and India which is where the come from. Remember, its only the best becasue some big shot executive in a high right London suite is telling its the best.
For more info. read Blood Diamonds by Greg Campbell. Or if you dont like reading, just watch the damn movie.

Good Luck

Answer 3

No you are not entirely wrong. She is very lucky to have a guy like you.
But you are forgetting that your marriage is a PARTNERSHIP, & that's where you are wrong I am afraid.

Your heart is certainly, without a doubt, in the right place. But how can a ring make her feel special & wanted if she decides to get all stressed out about it?

You can't control how she feels about extravagant gifts. So how would she feel about you taking the time each day EVERY DAY to show her how much you love her, & how special she is?
I know that will take a lot more work than going to the jewellers, & buying a big fat diamond, but I am willing to bet that she will appreciate that a whole lot more than you going against her wishes.

Just make a regular ritual of little heartfelt suprises like a romantic card or note, a single rose, or breakfast in bed.

It may cost less money, but the payback will be priceless.

Answer 4

No it's not wrong for you to want what's best for her but perhaps she's trying to tell you that she doesn't need that. Maybe she's not the type of woman who is impressed by expensive things. It's easy to spend a lot of money on something if you have it but she just needs your love and you don't have to spend a lot of money to show her that.

You might find the book men are from mars women are from venus interesting. Amongst other things it talks about the different "points value" men and women give certain gestures. To you if you spend a lot of money on a gift then it's a big gesture and so worth more. To your wife it is the fact you took the time and trouble to get the gift that counts, as a gesture it would have the same value if you bought her the most expensive earrings in the world or some glass bead ones that you happened to notice matched a necklace she owned. In fact noticing they matched a necklace she owned would add value to the gift. I hope my explanation makes sense to you. The book explains it much better. Men and women just see the world differently sometimes. And of course I'm a women so it might be just as hard for you to understand my explanation as it is to understand your wife.

Answer 5

There is nothing wrong with you wanting the best for your wife in the same token you cannot put a price-tag on love.It sound's like your wife is not a materialistic type of person and you should appreciate that.Your wife enjoy's the simple thing's in life and you should enjoy them with her.Money can't buy love or affection it can only buy objects.Enjoy your wife and live life to the fullest with the simple thing's that life has to offer.If you feel like you have all this extra money to spend why not donate to some charities and help another person to enjoy life.

Answer 6

Absolutely nothing wrong with wanting the best for your wife.

However, which is more important; a "best" thing (ring) or the best situation (happy life together) ? Dropping 6K on an engagement ring sounds great but maybe 5K could have been held over to get her a really cool honeymoon.

It is not that she wants "cheap knock off stuff", she probably can see better ways of spend the money on the both of you.

Answer 7

It's not wrong, it's very sweet. Maybe she isn't used to being spoiled (from previous relationships) and just doesn't know how to handle the extravagance you are showing. Maybe she's afraid to wear the real thing. She may be concerned about the money being spent, I don't know what your financial status is. She may feel that money can be spent on something more practical. Explain to her that you want to be able to spoil her now and then.

You should be glad she doesn't want you to buy her lots of expensive jewelry, there are a lot of women who are the complete opposite, and have put their husbands in the poor house making them do it! Best of luck.

Answer 8

Try buying her something that is still nice but not so flashy. I am a lot like her. I love my engagement ring, but my husband wants to put a bigger diamond in it. I don't want another diamond because this is the one that he proposed to me with. I don't like expensive or flashy things. Next time you want to buy her something, take her to the jewelry store a few weeks in advance and see what she looks at and admires. Surprise her with something that you have seen her admire and she will be happier than if you bought her the most expensive piece in the store. Good luck.

Answer 9

Shes awful lucky you think so highly of her.My ex husband did not buy things . When he did they were usually things he could want... a wine set a, a french fryer, dumb things ... so un important to show they were'nt special for me.I could have bought these things myself ;eventually they would break.I would have wanted something he would have gone out of his way to get me such as a homemade item or unique piece of jewelry.It didnt have to be expensive. He didnt have a problem spending tons of money on himself drinking,eating, and traveling over seas on deployment. Hotel rooms and ski trips r expensive.These things he did w/ his friends.Money wasnt an issue when he was with his friends. How i would have liked that. I guess i wasnt priority. Now we r getting a divorce. This was just one of the problems. I dont consider myself materialistic however, it would have been nice 4 my husband 2 have your attitude. Thought is what counts......but he never thought about me and how I felt....

Answer 10

Your wife maybe thinking about someone who is less fortunate than her. Sure, we all want the finer things in life but when you start to think about those who have nothing you start to get practical. I think you should talk to her. Ask her for her price range and what seems practical yet still authentic. I know you don't want you wife to have knock off jewelry so come to a compromise. There are plenty of reasonable prices out there. So, talk to her and see if you can work this all out.

Answer 11

There is nothing wrong. Don't get her wrong sometimes its because she loves you therefore she felt you shouldn't be spending so much on her. My husband is the same he is so stingy on himself and he never seems to be buying anything for him but he will buy me expensive things. I felt so bad and ppl then to think I bully him and he is scared of me that is why he kept on buying thing for me to keep me happy.

This really hurt my feelings too so I talk to him and he told me its OK, so as long he can afford it he shall do whatever he wishes.

Maybe you should talk to your wife so she will understand how you feel. Sometimes we women need to hear all this stuff.

Good luck.