I am divorcing my husband and will marry the guy i met online. My sister is seeing the guy she met online too but she is confused about her feelings. Her husband is very depressed and told his mum about their marriage problem. The mother in law called blaming me for being a bad elder sister. She said i should have told my sister to stop chatting with the guy and should work hard to keep my family intact. I responded by saying that i will talk to my sister and her husband but the mother in law told me never to tell them that she called and i should bear in mind that they were hurt too much when they heard about my shaky marriage 2 years ago. Now that their son and my sister is facing the same problems she cant think what to do but tell me that i should think again what i have done. Am i to blame if my sister leaves her husband? I have been persuading my sister not to follow my footsteps. Should i stay with my husband so my younger sister will do the right thing? Im 42, sister is 36
2007-01-13 04:05:30 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
do what makes you happiest....good luck...x
2007-01-13 04:10:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
While it is true that if we spent the same time talking to our spouses that we do creating and maintaining internet friendships and relationships, our marriages would be better off.
It is not true that what you do would compel your sister to either stay in her marriage or to leave it. She is an adult and she does make her own choices, even if she bases these choices on what she sees others do.
My advice would be to put more effort into your own marriage, regardless of your sisters situation. Get your husband his own computer and start chatting on line if that is what will get you two talking.
If all else fails and your sister is someone whom you believe will do what you do, rather than follow her own heart, then make a deal with her. Tell her to wait and watch how your life unfolds during the next year. Then make her decision based on actual facts rather than romantic illusions of greener grass on the other side of the fence.
2007-01-13 04:15:24 · answer #2 · answered by cindy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let what your sister's mother-in-law says make you do anything that you will regret, or both you and your sister could end up miserable. Encourage your sister to have marriage counselling with her husband. If you are divorcing your husband then I'm sure you must have already considered all the other options and had professional advice yourself, which has lead you to see there is no other option for you other than leaving your husband. If I'm not right, and you are still unsure about leaving your husband, don't leave him, but whatever you do, don't make it about your sister's marriage.
2007-01-13 04:16:43 · answer #3 · answered by snowshoe134 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Online relationships are not real. Move forward cautiously and remember all those chats you both had? You were really only talking to yourself. It's quite a different situation when you talk face-to-face. And I'm sorry for your husband. You should figure out why you cheated on him, before you remarry anyone. In any case, you are not to blame for your sister's actions either. She made her own choice about breaking her wedding vows. Good luck to both of you.
2007-01-13 04:25:05 · answer #4 · answered by mJc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your life is your own, as is your sister's. Stick to yours and stay out of hers. The in-laws should do the same. NEVER meddle in someone else's marriage/relationship. It's no one's business but their own, no matter how hard it gets. On line chats with unknown people when you are married is wrong - it's an electronic form of adultry and i don't blame anyone for not liking it in their own home. GET COUNSELING.
2007-01-13 04:24:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should have been working on your marriage in the first place and not chatting people up on line. The damage has been done. I assume that your new husband has banned you from going on line and vice versa. Your sister has to make up her own mind.
2007-01-13 04:10:57 · answer #6 · answered by D B 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you have to live your life and your sister have to live hers. the both of you should talk and let that be known. you can't live for each other. also, their marriage may have been shaky way before she met the other guy. you need to tell her to follow her heart because if she have a good husband, she shouldn't leave him for someone she doesn't know. as of internet dating, i hope the both of you know what you're getting in to and know these people well.. otherwise be careful.
2007-01-13 04:16:26 · answer #7 · answered by Lakenya P 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Leaving your husband for some stranger you've met on line is stupid to say the least. You'll both regret it I'm sure.
2007-01-13 04:11:19 · answer #8 · answered by mjm52 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
your both adults and she shouldnt blame you.Even though both of you are wrong for bailing on your marriages for a fantasy on the internet. I hope you realize internet dating is not always as it seems. I met a guy on the net and when we moved in together after almost of year of vists and talking he was abusive.I just hope you know what your doing and its messed up left your marriage.
2007-01-13 04:12:45 · answer #9 · answered by fine_ass_fatty21 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like a sweep it under the carpet load of shite to me!
You and your sister are both adults, if she mimics your every move, then that's her fault, not yours!
Talk to her, tell her your views/feelings/reservations and try to come to some sort of resolve.
You can't and shouldn't live your life just to please other people, you only get the one chance(unless you're Hindu...;)!
2007-01-13 04:18:23 · answer #10 · answered by Autolupus 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you Internet cheat grrr i hate women like you
have you got any Friends to date me??
2007-01-13 04:11:55 · answer #11 · answered by William H 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋