On his wife and i feel uncomfortable being around his wife.We are all in college but my best friend Jay married his gf Tracy right after highschool so he is the only guy married in our group.I was a brides maid at the wedding so it makes me feel worse.Most of my friends are guys and they see me as well one of the guys.I feel really uncomfortable watching my friend Jay cheat on his wife in front of me with another of my female friends what can i do?His wife is so nice and i feel bad not beeing able to answer her questions straight and avoiding her?
2007-01-13 03:24:18 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My best friend has even gone as far as to ask me to cover for him,His wife just had a baby and he is going out partying.
2007-01-13 03:27:21 · update #1
That is a tough situation to be in. Shame on Jay for asking you to cover for him. If he is unhappy in his marriage, then he needs to separate from him wife. He needs to let her know up-front because later it may come back to haunt him. He is not living life for his pleasures alone, he gave up that right when he married. If he does not want that responsibility, then he needs to let go of Tracy so she can find someone who will appreciate her.
As the 'best' friend, you need to decide what's more important to you. Your friendship with Jay or what you believe is right. Perhaps they are one n the same, perhaps they conflict.
If she is smart enough to ask, then she is smart enough to figure out any action or non-action you make. By avoiding her and not answering her questions straight-forward, she will come to her own conclusions. If she has not spoken to Jay about it, then she needs to. So next time she asks, say -- that's something I"m not comfortable answering, ask Jay.
"To thy own self be true..." friends may come and go, but you have to live with yourself for eternity. Determine what you can live with and without...then you'll have an answer you can live with.
2007-01-13 03:50:52 · answer #1 · answered by T esira 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does the other girl know he is cheating (does she know he is married) you make it sound like she does...In your shoes I am not sure how I would handle it while I would want to be loyal to my friend and keep his secret..I would also feel honor bound to tell the wife, since you said you were a brides maid you witnessed him make the vows to be loyal to her. He is now breaking them...but like I said this is a trick case if you tell he will be mad at you and will cause a rift in your friendship probably with the other guys and well (unless some of them feel it is wrong as well) but if you don't tell and she finds out the hard way...
2007-01-13 11:31:15 · answer #2 · answered by conundrum_dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...what a shame! Society is beginning to treat spouses like nothing. I feel really sorry for this woman being cheated on. If her husband really doesn't love her, I hope they will get a divorce.
Something you could do is pull this guy aside and tell him that his wife is who is bound to, not his girlfriend, and suggest he end the marriage with this woman.
Just be a friend to this woman while she is going through a hard time if Jay does decide to divorce her.
2007-01-13 11:28:25 · answer #3 · answered by Lena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write an anonyme letter taking cut letters in z newspaper or do an anonyme phone call from a booth 2 his wife or simply just go n xplain z guy or perhaps z girl tell her zat zis is not good zat zis guy whom she is going out is a father of a child:a newborn baby but i think zat ur bf will go out wiz other gals if his actual gf leaves him!z best answer remeins: either do z anonyme thing or go n tell z truth 2 his wife:it's her husband she has z rite 2 know wat his husband is doing wiz her!I know it's hard 2 go n tell zat but if ever his wife lifts up a subject like zat,just blurt it out n i think u must not cover zat girl coz she's breaking a family n she doesn't hav z rite!N don't 4get doing zis can make u lose some friends!
2007-01-13 11:38:56 · answer #4 · answered by Zahrah N. 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you need to tell your best friend no....friends do alot of things for one another but that isnt one of them. this poor girl is at home with a new born while hes out partying and porking some other chick that isnt cool at all. just be straight with him tell him that you care for him and your friendship but that you dont feel what he is doing is right. tell him that he either stops cheating or you go to his wife about it. if he loves his wife and child then he will do the right thing and if not he will continue to cheat either way he shouldnt put you in the middle it isnt fair and what he is doing to his wife and child isnt right at all....good luck girl wish u the best!
2007-01-13 11:33:19 · answer #5 · answered by rebecca t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to avoid her. just be honest with her and tell her to her face that she should ask Jay. Tell her it is not your place to answer questions that she should be asking him. Let Jay know that you are not going to let his infidelity stress you any longer and though you are not going to divulge information, you are not going to outright lie for him either. Simply tell Tracy that it is not your place to answer her questions or to give her information concerning Jay...she should go to Jay with all of her questions. If Jay gets mad at you, he's not a real friend anyway and if Tracy gets mad at you for not telling her then she's too infantile to be in a relationship in the first place. Let them both know that you are not part of their relationship and don't want to be stuck in the middle of their drama.
2007-01-13 11:31:23 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to talk to your friend and tell him what he is doing is wrong. If he doesn't stop i think the best thing to do is to try to set something up so that his wife can see him cheating so that the wife finds out herself instead of you telling her. Something needs to be done because your friend knows he is very wrong and needs to learn a lesson.
2007-01-13 11:30:02 · answer #7 · answered by girl!*! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it as it is none of your business. Cheaters usually always get caught eventually. Your friends wife will soon find out for herself. I know what I am talking about. My first husband got caught cheating when the child support papers were given to me at my front door.
2007-01-13 11:32:49 · answer #8 · answered by Nancy M. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell his wife when you took on being a bridesmaid it became your job to watch out for the bride and she deserves to know besides guys forgive faster than chicks!
Questionman911 has a less risky way to tell her
2007-01-13 12:08:28 · answer #9 · answered by Nightchild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't put yourself in the middle of a bad situation. Just keep on
being Tracy's friend and the louse will get whatever is coming to
him without you having to hurt your friend yourself. As for the other friend, she will get hers too.
2007-01-13 11:31:23 · answer #10 · answered by gailpendarvis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋