Why Do you have to tear someone down in order to feel important?

Question

I feel a lot of insecure people do this? What is your take on subject?

Answer 1

Yes, you are quite right of course! Mainly this comes from envy. I have experienced this alot, as an outgoing, bubbly person. Those that do those sort of things (tearing someone down) are envious because they cannot be like you, and mock you to make their ego feel better! A worldwide illness I am afraid, all you can do is avoid those people or give it back, but in a tasteful way!

Good luck!

Answer 2

I think it is not so clear cut. There are a percentage of people who really know what they are talking about and try to help. But there are some who like to appear to be experts when they are clueless. There are also some who will take the opposite view to anything another person suggests.

For example if you ask a question about an unfair tax law you will invariably get someone telling you that you should get a better accountant as if they know something you don't when the fact is that if something is law, even if not fair, even the best accountant cannot go against the law.

There is also the problem that the majority of askers are not really looking for an opinion. They are looking for a confirmation of their own opinion and thus will always think you don't know anything if you don't agree with them.

Answer 3

You're right on. Insecure people do this.

Insecure people are used to being around critical people who are constantly pointing out their flaws in negative, non-supportive ways. It's basic survival - kill or be killed - insult or be insulted. Unless they have positive support and feel good about themselves, there is an overwhelming need to become critical of others in an attempt to a) draw attention away from theirselves and b) level the playing field to find some sort of belonging and self-worth.

You may notice that people like this also tend to be rather boistrous about any accomplishments they have - blowing their own horn - again, they're around so much negativity and receive so little praise that another defense mechanism is to shout out anything positive they do from the rooftops.

The result: they appear to be arrogant, self-absorbed, critical and on an on. I've coached a lot of good people like this who when they a) get away from the constant criticism and b) build a support system of friends/family who acknowledge their accomplishments they suddenly become enjoyable people.

Best wishes!

Answer 4

A lot of people do do that, but not everyone does.

What bugs me is when you're someone who tries to make people feel better and tries to play down something they may have or do that isn't admirable; but then they turn around and take advantage of every opportunity to make you feel bad if they have the chance!! They aren't just insecure. They can be giant jerks at times!!

Answer 5

Usually these people are insecure about themselves, so it's them with a problem, not you. Sadly, yes, many people do this to feel important, but truth is they are jealous or threatened by you.. your intelligence, beauty, manner, or other more material things. Don't let it get to you and be confident!

Answer 6

Insecure people try to pull another person down because of low self esteem. They want to pull that person down to their level of insecurity. As is said, misery loves company.

Answer 7

people that live by their instincts not their minds do this, and these people are just as ready to steal kill and destroy anyone they judge are in their way or just the next victim. they choose to NOT think, it is also a lazy person's way to live. and also someone has to listen for someone to tear you down, would be just as easy to listening to a dutch, German or whatever talk in their native language...just babble. choose to listen and learn, in other words, get the set of you sails not the wind in the gail to power you to the next level...keep moving ......good luck

Answer 8

yes, it is insecurity. If you feel bad about yourself, then if you can make other people feel worse about themselves, you'll feel better by comparison. But if you feel good about yourself, you'd never want to do that.

Answer 9

Bingo! You answered that yourself. Insecurity.

Answer 10

I don't, but people have done it to me. I believe in treating others the way that I want to be treated--too bad for the world that more people don't.