Should I have a threesome with my husband?

Question

We have been together for 7 years and he has always wanted a threesome. About 2 years ago I cheated on him and he kinda feel that I owe it to him to set something up for him. I really would rather not do it (jealousy issues). But I feel like I kinda owe it to him too. Right now I am 8 months pregnant and he still asks about it. I really wanted a baby, so this was kind of a gift to me. Should I do it? And how would anyone find a person to have a threesome with (girl)?

Answer 1

I love how everyone thinks this guy is such a piece of crap,... acting as if they are soooo rightous,... those people make me sick,. because you are actually the worst there is,.. since at least otehr people don't hide there true intentions...

and now onto the question

Its like this....

DO YOU WANT TO.... seriously,... are you torn,.. is it a jelously thing,. but are you still curious,... i mean,. afterall,. you did cheat,... (oh and people,. to assume he did is totally screwed up,. its a non issue, and makes you retarded) fact is,. he stayed with you,. now,.. no,.. you don't owe him anything,.. afterall,.. its your body

it all comes down to do you want to...

to those who say its going to ruin things... its case by case,.. and if you've never done it you should shut your mouth,.. stop passing moral judgement on people or quoting bible crap and go about your sad closed minded life...

fact,.. i know poeple that are married 10 years who seek a "friend" on occasion to go nuts with,... i even know people with kids who do this discreetly,... don't pass judgement on something just because you don't agree with it,.. and stop clouding this issue with rubbish.... yes,. there are times it doesn't work out.... that sucks,.. is this something that shoudl have been explored before marragie,. probably,. but were past that now :)

the question is,. once again.. simple,... does the asker want to... its up to her,.. to really think about it... if no,. then no,. if yes,.. i say wait till after the baby for a bit,.. then its up to one of two thing....

1. maybe you do have a close female friend thats kinky... (but that opens up top trouble unless you and her were already goofing around, so unless thats the case its ill advisable)

2. there are plenty of ways,.. chatrooms services,.. that way you can find someone you both find fits the bill togethor and then set up something discreet with no strings attached.

so the answer isn't what we think,. its what you think,.. screw all the factors that don't mean anything, forget about the past,.. and then think,.. is this something YOU want.... if not,.. oh well


oh,.. and cogratulatios
good luck with the baby :)

Answer 2

This is a very complicated situation to be in. Having a threesome because you owe it to him is not a good idea. Then again, having an affair wasn't a good idea either. A lot of questions come into play: usually an affair indicates an ongoing relationship, it sounds like a threesome would be a one off, is that really going to be "fair"? (As if anything could really end up fair in this situation.)

At the absolute bear minimum, not while you're pregnant. Your emotions and hormones and stuff are so wild and all over the scale that there's no way that if you're against it now you'll enjoy it while pregnant. And right after the baby gets here, it's going to be round-the-clock baby care for you and your husband for a while.

Once the baby is here, and you've had a chance to have life slow down again, then you can approach the subject again. Ask him if he wants a threesome, and if it really will completely erase the debt of your affair. Or has your affair becoeme something that he can use for the rest of your life together to guilt you into anything he wants? Not to make light of your affair, but if he gets to use it to guilt you one way or the other, you may as well do what makes you happy, right?

On the other hand, if he agrees that a threesome (or two, or three, whatever you agree with him) will completely erase your debt, make you even, etc, then will it be worth it to you to have that whole event behind you? Might there be some other way for you to make it up to him?

If you do decide to go through with it, you pick the girl. Don't let him pick the girl. You'll always wonder "Why her?" if he picks the girl. I would suggest a friend, someone you can trust, if you can arrange that. If not, then try contacting people online.

Answer 3

No, you shouldn't do it for this reason. Doesn't mean that someday it might not be right, but for this reason it isn't.

Swinging (and yes, a threesome is swinging) should never be done under the pretense of coercion or manipulation, which is what he is doing here. He is holding your infidelity over your head to get what he wants, instead of just saying "I'd like a threesome".

Coercion and manipulation in any matter always breeds resentment and thus problems in a relationship.

For this to work it has to be both of your fantasy with both of you entering into it with equal enthusiasm and desire to do it. If not, than it is not right. And if he loves you like it sounds like he does, than he should accept a "no, I'm not comfortable with it right now" as an answer and quit pushing for it. Someday you may be ready for it, but you really dislike him later, and it will cause more problems between you if he manipulates you into it.

Swinging is something a couple does for each other. It is because the idea of your spouse having a great time having sex with someone else is as important, and as big a turn-on, as the thought of you having a good time having sex with someone else. If this isn't the case than you are entering into this with the wrong mindset and for the wrong reason.

To get a good perspective on this, from those that really know what it's like to be there, both of you should sit down together and read the forums on The Swingers Board. You'll get lots of good information and insight from those that do it, and do it successfully. He may begin to see how it is really done, and you might start to feel more at ease about doing it someday.

Answer 4

If this were something that you really wanted to do for both yourself and your husband, then I'd say go for it. However, since it doesn't sound like this is something you really want to do and are considering it out of a sense of guilt, then no, you shouldn't do it. If your husband makes you feel guilty and like you "owe him" because he took you back after cheating, then it sounds to me like the two you may need some marriage counseling. While you shouldn't have cheated in the first place, you both decided to continue in your marriage and work through the issues. There should never be any "conditions" put on a situation like that. If he took you back and gave you a baby in return for a threesome, there are bigger issues in this marriage that need to be dealt with. Best of luck.

Answer 5

No. Past mistakes is not a reason to have someone else enter
into the marriage. You don't owe him a threesome. That would
just cause another problem. My husband and I have been married
for 29 years(will be 30 April 8) and we would never allow another
person to enter in our marriage. We would never ask each other
to bring another person in our marriage. We love and respect each other way to much to do that. And the child belongs to both of you. That baby is his gift too.

Answer 6

Absolutely not!! #1 Yes, you made a mistake, but this will be the BIGGEST mistake you've ever made. You'll be opening up a door for all kinds of MESSED UP things to happen. #2 That baby is not a gift from your husband. It's a gift from God! The only thing you owe your husband is your respect and love. It's a natural tendancy for men to want to have a threesome...but, he needs to keep himself under control. And you being a part of that threesome, is not doing any good for your husband. It WILL ruin your relationship. You'll have all kinds of jealousy, rage, anger, and other hurtful emotions to deal with if you let this happen! Please, don't do it. It WILL RUIN your MARRIAGE!!

Answer 7

Sweetie people sometimes cheat but that does not mean that you owe him anything. He is a pig no offence because he is not happy with you he wants another woman in the bed say you do it right he will always want it. I mean he should be happy with you. If you have jealously issues DO NOT do it because you will never be able to get over it...It could then end in divorce. If you still want to do it and think you owe him I am sure they are websites for couples look it up in Google. Or in yahoo search Good luck~

Answer 8

Are you out of your mind? You are pregnant and willing to risk infecting yourself and unborn child with an std???? If you cheated and he forgives you you owe him nothing. It sounds like he is guilt tripping you enough as it is... The baby is a result of having sex with him (A GIFT TO HIM>>> HELLO) and the way you are thinking is ridiculous. I have broken up with men who wanted a threesome just for pressuring me to try it. Do you think doing this is going to make him stop wanting to keep on doing it?Opening your sexual relations to include others is a can of worms. Will you always worry that you may accidentally walk into an orgy in your home? I would divorce him just for lusting after other women while you are carrying his child. He should focus on making you happy, and keeping the baby healthy.

Answer 9

Wait a minute. If you cheated and repented of doing so, YOU DON'T OWE anything to your husband but an apology.

However, having a threesome is not to be taken lightly. Both of you need to be certain that that is what you both want to do. Don't do it because you think "you owe him". Do it because you want to try a variation in your lifestyle. As long as you can both agree of who your new sexual partner will be, and the new sexual partner doesn't attempt to break you apart, you can enjoy that lifestyle without any worries.

Answer 10

are you F****** crazy girl .. jealousy issues ya you think your husband having sex with some other girl and you ummm ya not something i would do EVER ...............
you are pregnant with your husband baby and the last thing you should be things of is a threesome with some other girl that's so wrong in many ways and just cause you cheated on him 2 years ago don't mean you OWE him anything that's just sick .... if anything you should be working on your marriage to each other ....................