I'm neither of these two people but I don't know how to deal with this. A few days ago this 11 year old girl I know confided in me that she was in love with a friend of mine who's 15. She's been in love with him for the past 2 years. She asked me whether she should just forget him or keep on hoping. Obviously I told her that she should forget him and explained the whole age difference thing and being inappropriate and all that. The hard thing for her is that she is in the same school bus as him where they always have contact with each other. I know what i told her was the right thing (right?) but then why does it feel so wrong?
2007-01-13 01:18:52 · 14 answers · asked by World of Suffering 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You people don't seem to be getting it, I am discouraging it because of the obvious legal issue. I don't get why it feels so wrong that I'm trying to do the right thing
2007-01-13 01:25:59 · update #1
There is absolutely no chance of anything sexually inappropriate happening. I'm just worried that she'll be like depressed or something.
2007-01-13 01:28:28 · update #2
I am 17 and I know she will listen to me when I tell her something. She is 11 but is much more mature than that.
2007-01-13 01:41:34 · update #3
She just THINKS she's in love with him. Let them be friends, but let the boy know what happens if he touches her. (Black eyes, fat lip, ect...). You cant stop them, and YES, you told her the right thing.
2007-01-13 01:25:59 · answer #1 · answered by D.C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her get grow.Love is really some thing that could help people get grow.Some day in every people's life she should challenge with life. Love could be the safest and also the most beautiful challenging thing the people could face. Let her stay in love (it's some thing you couldn't force her for) but try to awaken her about the consequences of this relationship (in a realistic way not more!) explain her the problems and ask her for solving them. she is just 11 but can do her best to overcome the difficulties. This make her more responsible about life. the person she is in love with is 4 years older so She would try for acting 4 years older than what she is. notice that she wouldn't have the chance of attracting the boy unless she is grown and wise enough. Let her show her love, the self confidence she gains by expressing affection and love could be be an strong motivation for her future life.
2007-01-13 01:47:04 · answer #2 · answered by ta2aa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The kid is 11 and should not be wondering about things like that. She does not understand what love is yet. I think her parents should be informed. That 15 year old could be twisted and get her to do things that she will regret later in life. She will not listen to you she sees you as a friend and not an authority figure. She will listen to her mother, or father. You said the right thing.
2007-01-13 01:26:45 · answer #3 · answered by george 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her to ask her mother or parent why it would be inappropriate. Besides become a sexual relationship in a few years, and the boy being laughed out of school the boy would end up in trouble. Many reasons why she should look for someone more her age. No reason to feel bad, you did the right thing!!!
2007-01-13 01:26:04 · answer #4 · answered by Joseph L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not love, it is just a crush and you told her the right thing. At her age, it will be hard to understand, but in the long run it is better to be straight an honest with her than to lead her on with false hope.
Crushes on older boys/men for girls is a way of selecting the traits they find desireable in males; however, at age 11 it is usually a fantasy version of who the girl thinks the guy is, not actually who he is.
At age 11, she needs to look to males her own age to have real relationships with as if she continues her fantasy about the older male, she is denying herself real opportunities that will help her deal with real relationships later on in life.
2007-01-13 01:31:05 · answer #5 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do about her having a crush, at 11 years old it is probably consuming her whole being. What you can do is help her find proper channels for releasing these feelings. I dont think there is anything wrong with a little flirting by her, but your right it isnt appropriate fpr any sort of relationship to progress.
2007-01-13 01:25:00 · answer #6 · answered by jimckinnon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
an 11 year old is not capable of the formal operational thinking required to be "in love" in the romantic sense...let alone being nowhere near physical maturity. She's a a child's daydream land, lala land if you will. Do not entertain her thoughts as serious feelings of love. It is right to make light of her situation.
2007-01-13 01:25:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl, you probably did fine. I'm sure the 11 year old is still cruushin, but that's just the way 11 year olds are. Its not an age of advanced emotional control. Aint nothing else.
2007-01-13 01:25:30 · answer #8 · answered by Miz Understood 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should explain to her that she's not in love with him. She's too young to know what that is. It's ok to be friends with him and talk to him. Start there before you think all of a sudden that you're in love. By the way, it's not illegal to talk and be friends with a guy that's 4 years older. It doesn't sound like she's going to have sex with him, since she doesn't even know who the guy is, so I don't see what the problem is.
2007-01-13 01:42:16 · answer #9 · answered by Sax M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you did the right thing... to even make sure may be even ask the friend casually what he thinks of her to make sure she did not get crushed at all.. and she will probabally stillbe in "love" with him with or without your advice (girls cannot help it =/) if your 15 year old friend is really good one, try to explain the situation and ask him to try and avoid her...
Hope This Helped =]
2007-01-13 01:25:09 · answer #10 · answered by alex l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋