Can a man have a low sex drive?

Question

Can a man have a low sex drive? My bf went from 60 to 0 in no time flat and blames it on a low sex drive. we used to have sex constantly and I used to not be able to keep him off me. This was just a couple of months ago. Now he doesn't want it hardly at all. We might have sex now once or twice a month. I have not gained weight or changed physically at all, and our relationship as far as I know is good. In fact, we just got engaged. But I'm terribly concerned about this sex issue. I'm not a nympho by any means, but I do very much enjoy it. I'm trying really hard not to put pressure on him, as I know that might make things worse, but I also in the back of my mind wonder if he's getting it elsewhere. He claims it's just a low sex drive and it's not my problem, but I tell him it is my problem, in fact it's our problem. Any suggestions or ideas as to what could cause this?

Answer 1

You have reason to be concerned. Sex will taper off naturally with time but sudden drops in sexual interest is generally not a good thing.

Stress will kill sex drive in a hurry. So if your BF is stressed at work or by reltives or something else.

A negitive such as for many guys feeling trapped in a relationship. They wake up and realize they are in a relationship and it spooks them.

Maybe you gave him offense over something and while he's conciously over it resentment might be stewing. Might not be anything you did or said at all. Self confidence is essential for a man's sex drive. The man that doesn't believe in himself loses his manhood. If he failed at something important to him then he will shy away from the world while he heals. Maybe somebody cut him down to size over something and it just flattened his self confidence.

Another potential aspect is guys love new conquests. Now that you guys have been together for a time it's not new any more. It's a rut. Do you do the wild thing the same way the same time all the time? If so buy a kuma sutra book, a pair of handcuffs or indulge in some kinky sex. Big thing is engage his mind in a sexual way. Make anything but a quickie as something new and interesting.

Also he might be thinking too much. Don't have deep convos. We are guys, only so much blood and so many organs for it to go too LOL. Guys should not think DURING sex. Only before or after. Once the sex starts it should be instinctive.

Diet and exercise can be a huge factor. He might be mildly depressed and lack of exercise and a high sugar diet can cause artificial depression. The Twinkie defense. He might also be mildly depressed from external reasons. Try viatmins to help with dietary issues. Try some exercise.

Also quanity and quality are two different things. An all nighter once or twice a week beats a dozen quickies any day. Perhaps you are moving into a phase of higher quality but lower quanity. If so anticipation is thy friend. Build up and build up until your ready to kill something. THEN go at it. Warning remove all precious breakables from the room before starting :)

Insecurity. Do you flirt alot? Even if you don't feel like it's flirting, keep your eye peeled for how your guy reacts to how you are with other men in your life. You might accidentally be triggering insecurity with your own actions.

Pressure. Guys hate being pressured for anything much less sex. Think about the puppies that have adored you during your time. Did they not repulse you by standing there expecting you to like them? Instead of direct sexual context. Dance, wear something provocative. Seduce him subtly. Or perhaps subtle isn't his thing and just rip his pants down and go to work.

Long term mismatch of sex drive can be a major thing. A couple months is too short a time. Might be he's just having a hard time at work and you give him a couple weeks and he's back at it. First thing is not to stress over it until it becomes a long term pattern. Ladies often make problems where none exist when they over analyze a relationship.

Last, maybe it's just not meant to last and this might be the start of goodbye. If so, enjoy the time but remember as good as it is with him, when you meet somebody your meant to be with it'll be even better. Each relationship a kind of training for you so when you do meet the right person hopefully your ready.

Good luck with things.

Answer 2

Well, I don't know what his problem is, but it ain't from having a low sex drive. If that was the problem it would have been there two months ago. draciron has given you all the possible reasons for impotency I can think of, so look over them again,, see if any apply to your situation, but I doubt if any will.

I can tell you one thing from personal experience. A sexless relationship is no good, and it will not survive. So,, it's time to get professional help, or move on. I'd suggest a visit to a urologist, and if there's no problem there he'll no doubt point you to another specialist.

Answer 3

Questions to discuss together:
Has a physic exam lately?
High blood pressure and taking certain meds can 'take the bottom out' of a man's sex drive.
Stress and Work blues. How might this effect him?
Nutrition factors?
Emotional issues? Anger? Men can be most fragile 'down there'!

Hope this helps!

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Answer 4

It took me a long time to realise why I developed a low sex drive. I know there are other reasons, but mine are due to the increased feelings in my glans that made sex not pleasant. The feeling go past pleasure to like when someone tickles you too much to the point that it almost feels like pain taking more time to reach climax and sometimes loosing erection before finishing. So I prefer to masturbate instead. My BF is OK with it as we both realise that my prepucial frenular delta nerves were cut during routine circumcision and his were not cut. It concentrated the naturally spread out feeling all into my glans. We are told that they do this to curb masturbation but in the long run it also curbs sex drive subconsciously. Most guys don't have their frenulums cut so they don't understand that circumcision can have negative side effects.
I secretly do it by by my self and he tells me that is OK. Some times we jerk together just to affirm our affections. I also took up manual foreskin restoration to recover my glans to protect from over stimulation. It feels great after 6 years and we have more rewarding climaxs together. Try to just stimulate the lower part of his glans and the remaining shaft skin avoiding the over sensitized glans. put no sucsion on the glans either
If you two choose to use reproduction sex to have a child instead of just pleasure then don't cut your son. Let him deside when he is fully informed on how his natural parts are suposed to function
and how to take care of them correctly. Parents must learn how to teach their sons correctly. too.
Some cut doctors and doctors who cut are in denial that cutting sexual parts off can cause them to dysfunction. Go figure?

Answer 5

There may be a physical element to this as well. It is worth a visit to your family doctor for a check up, it can't hurt, and the doctor may be able to help if there is an emotional problem.

Answer 6

Yes. My ex was one.

Stress of a survival nature ( like joblessness or serious health problems) or suppressed resentment toward partner.

Answer 7

Investigate any major life changes or things that could mentally be affecting his performance. Job situation. ect
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