How can I get my confidence back?

Question

I have been the best at school, in my class, in every single grade since kinder garten and now i'm in eleventh grade and there's this new girl in my class and she's the best now and i've lost the thing i'm most good at, being the best. What should I do?

Answer 1

Sadly kid, whatever you do, whatever standard you reach, there will always be someone slightly better than you.

It is something that you should not lose confidence over, but something that should INSPIRE you and make you try harder.

EG - I went into a mock exam the top of my class, I did really badly - The result? "Blast, I'm not going to have that happen again" so I worked even harder - guess what? I ended up passing the exam at the top !!!

You can learn more in life from failures than you can by winning.

Now write a long list of EVERYTHING that you have acheived so far and read over it - you will soon see that you have ability & will be able to do well in the future.

Good Luck !!!!

Answer 2

It's not about being the best, it's about doing what you can do. Sometimes, you might be the best, sometimes, we can learn.

Look at it like this. If someone wanted to make a film about say, maths, and wanted the film to be full of knowledge and that person wanted the best people to give the film that knowledge. That could get a few brilliant mathematicians together. All those mathematicians could be sat round, each contributing. There's not necessarily one best one, but a group of brilliant minds, all contributing.

I don't think there is necessarily a best at anything. Who's the best footballer in the world? Ask 100 different people and you'll get many different answers.

Answer 3

Hello,

(ANS) we live in a highly highly competitive society, so we are constantly faced with striving for more, for something bigger (if your a sales person say!) or something faster (in IT or computers), something higher, something better & the list is endless.

**DONT confuse your ability to actualy learn with the process of competition. Competing & learning are different things in my opinion.

**You only feel deflated because this girl has knocked you off the top spot, your self confidence shouldnt always be based on this kind of scenario. Dont build your entire sense of self confidence & self esteem on beating others, on always being "the" winner. Build your self confidence on what you know, on what you can do, on what you can put into action, on your own experience but without ALWAYS needing to beat others to some short term aim or goal.

**Only you can decide if being VERY good at something is enough for you or how important it is too you that you are seen to be the best in your class! Now my question back to you is, why! is it so very important to you that you are the best in your class?

Actually later on in life as an adult you might come to see that you cannot always be better than everyone else, there may well be someone else that knows more than you, has knowledge you dont have, has more money than you & so forth.

**My opinion is just be the best you can be!! do the best you can do!! That will be enough in itself if you hold true to this. Real Quality always shines through and other people will see that. It's enough just to be yourself nothing more.

IR

Answer 4

The first step to building confidence, in my opinion, is finding out what you truly want. Over the next week, whenever you feel down, depressed, insecure, or frustrated, start making a list of all the things you want. They can be little things, like, "I want a glass of water" or big things, like "I want to ride around the entire world in a hot air baloon." Just write down everything and don't censor yourself. Then after a week, and even throughout the week, look at the list and decide which of those things you can do something about. Then start doing it! Some of the things might require little steps first, but if you really want it, then you can do it. As you start seeing that you can do things that make you happy, your confidence will grow!

Answer 5

Just because there is someone else that is just as brainy as you dont mean that you are any less! Work with it you both have something in common and its good that someone else is doing well too! It sounds like you put alot of pressure on your self, relax as long as your grades are staying around the same you have nothing to worry about! Your worrying over nothing speak to someone close to you how you feel this might make you feel better! You know what they say a problem shared anf all that!

Answer 6

You're deluding yourself, and you have been for some time.

You have never been "best" anywhere, you've only been "best" in your own eyes and you conditioned yourself to believe it and become dependant upon it.

Recognizing someone else as "better" is your first step to recovery. Next, you need to find a new way to feel good about yourself. The old way was superficial and destined to betray your self-esteem.

(It's no different for really, really hot women. They depend so much on their looks that when they turn 30 they begin losing their looks and their character, and they can't figure out why.)

Answer 7

Who says she's the best? Even if she really is, take this as a life lesson that you can't ALWAYS be the best at EVERYTHING. Regardless of what the other chick does, don't let that bring down your confidence and make you think less of yourself. You're still awesome with or without her around!

Answer 8

You can win! So don't compare with any one. Just concentrate on your strudies and workouts. You can win. Don't allow to grow the mindset of jealousy.Sometimes failures also good. Because you can review your +ves and -ves. Failure is a First step to your victory. All the best.

Answer 9

Wow. Does your head get stuck in doors?

Best in every class? .... English too?!?! That is one stupid school you went to!!

Are you a bit 'special'?

Answer 10

Treat it as a challenge!
You will have to try harder to be the best or roll over and "give up"
Your choice!