with a considerable amount of money in his account. He has this 2000 Pontiac Firebird, which he thinks is the hottest car around. (I beg to differ, I prefer TRUE American Muscle myself.) As soon as he got home, he bought Firebird decals for it (not sure how much those cost) and a Ram Air hood that cost over a grand. I tried to tell him to watch what he spent, but he always got really pissed and told me that he put his life on the line and for me to basically butt out. I tried telling him that he should save most of it instead of spending it; there were other things that he bought
(he spent $200 for an all-over maintenence for the car) and put a system in it, bought one of the newest and most up-to-date radar detectors, and basically blew through his deployment money. Now, we live on his base in Cali and live with very limited means. I'm not sure exactly how much he spent on just junk, but it really hurts. When he bought the hood, he gave me $200 and bought me $300 in clothes.
2007-01-12 20:42:44 · 20 answers · asked by Jana Q 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When I got back from Iraq I was pretty much messed up in the head for awhile. I had to adjust. I literally was an assss hole.
It's okay, he'll get over it like I did, He will calm down once he knows home. He's still living out a wish he had in Iraq and that wish is being fullfilled.
He still shouldn;t be ill at you and that is no excuse forhim to do that or say he fought for you and crap. I was there too and I don;t bring it up. I did my job and I'm home now. Inf act when I got back and walked oin my house and seen how beautiful it wqas I was shocked. My wife never knew I was coming home. I surprised her. She just ran up to me and cried and held me tight and would'nt let me go. It was the best feeling I could ever expect coming home. There was cold Beer in the frige...now thats what I'm talking about,.
What really made me mad when I got home was to find out that my $8,000.00 dollar stereo system was robbed out of my house and she waited till I got home to tell me about it. I still filed it on insurance and battled with Homwowners till they finnaly coughed up the money.
Funny I never noticed it gone when I got home...lol
A for your situation you tell him I said Shalom.
2007-01-12 20:59:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, the good news is you are on base and have greater access to the psychological assistance available to him. Getting him to go....ahhh that might take some work.
Seriously, it sounds like retail therapy, except maybe for the overhaul. The effects of this therapy, if it goes too far are not a good thing for you to be left with...I am assuming he is going through joint finances as well??? If this is new behavior for him, not the norm and continues to a point where your finances are devastated, it needs to be addressed.
At any rate, if you cannot get him to go to counseling, talk to his CO who can order him to go.
Good luck hun, and next time he says he laid his life on the line, remind him that you put yours on hold. It's not fair of him to hide behind the soldier banner as though you made NO sacrifice so he could do such a brave and wonderful thing (I respect Amercias soldiers absolutely and redily admit I am too chickensh*t to do what they do) and mistreat you.
Seriously, good luck, HTH
2007-01-12 20:49:46 · answer #2 · answered by Star 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The man has been through hell,I know I;ve been there. He's blowing off steam and thats whats up. Now, he should have gave you 1/2 the money thats true but you can return most of the stuff anyway. Be supportive but firm. Remember he's been at war and it changes a person.
2007-01-12 20:52:44 · answer #3 · answered by Mad Dog Johnson 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sound like you husband just wanted a HOT car. But it also sound a Little immature. But you did not say what he did in Iraq. So maybe he just need to enjoy life a Little. Hopefully he has learned from this not to blow money. I do understand you sound a little up set that he had all this money and did not spend it wisely. I would be upset to.
2007-01-12 20:57:26 · answer #4 · answered by Janst 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the way you are thinking but I wonder if how you are saying it might be the problem. Try opening with a non conformational approach. May a question of how to get help through some issues. Men are fixers and we can't resist a good problem for the little lady. We feel ten feet tall when we are appreciated and respected. Try for a win /win conversation
2007-01-12 20:54:00 · answer #5 · answered by Roger W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find this difficult to answer as what your husband did for his country and the world are beyond my capabilities. I think you should just forgive him. BTW, a Firebird is American muscle (sister car to the Camaro.) I'm just glad you got him back home alive. Hopefully in one piece.
2007-01-12 20:51:41 · answer #6 · answered by Huguenot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes war can change you. It makes you live. And if one of his dreams were...having a fast smooth car...by all means let him go. It relieves a lot of frustration. I am not a soldiers wife..but my cousin just got back himself...his wife says he is so different.he wakes her early in the morning...tell her get the kids dressed...and they go out...all day. When she asked him what is going on...because he is spontaneous now...he gets mad...and asks her...if she would rather spend her life in the house..or see the world. Sometimes when one comes to terms that life is more fragile than glass...they learn to appreciate it more. Please let him do what he needs for now...he is focused on one thing...it's better than betting on sports and casinos. As you said..he gave you money and bought you things. To him, life is short...so you better do what you want now....because later ...may not be here....tell that soldiers...I thank him for what he has done..
2007-01-12 21:07:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit down together every month and plan out a budget together. decide how much can be spent every month on frivolous things, and what will happen if one of you over-spends.
if you set definite guide-lines now, then you will have some ground to stand on when he messes up in the future.
also, it might help if you mention that it hurts your feelings when he makes big purchases without consulting you.
2007-01-12 20:47:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your man has issues contact the supports you have access to re his behavior. Yes he has a right to spend his money etc but he has other financial responsibilities as well. His behavior is somewhat manic perhaps something that has developed because of what he has witnessed etc. Be supportive of him it is no fun out there but get support for yourself as well as you have to deal with the aftermath
2007-01-12 20:50:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be happy all you have ot worry about is how he spent his money. There are a lot of guys comming back with real problems including not having a job that the army promised would be there etc.
2007-01-12 20:48:20 · answer #10 · answered by Belinda 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋