Arrange marriage better or love marriage?

Answer 1

I think it depends on the culture you grew up in and what your personal values are with regard to marriage. For some people (especially those in Eastern cultures), marriage is a permanent thing; you are with this person for the rest of your life, come hell or high water. For others (especially those in Western cultures), marriage is a "forever" thing, with the notion of "forever" being predicated upon either a) religion or b) a fairy tale. But as the divorce rate shows, forever is, sadly, a 50-50 proposition...that is, 50% of all marriages end in divorce. For western societies, marriage is as easily gotten out of as it is getting into. And there isn't much of a social stigma. Not so for the Eastern societies.

So, which is better: arranged or love match? An arranged marriage starts out with two people bound together by familial contract, rather than mutual affection and love between the partners. That's not to say that love can't grow...but I think it's the rare and lucky couple that finds this after the vows have been sealed. So, you have a permanent marriage, but typically not much in the way of passion.

A love marriage, on the other hand, starts with a dating relationship that is generally passionate in nature. It feels great and so right, but can fizzle out and die very quickly after the ceremony is done and reality of life sets in. (This isn't to say that genuine love and commitment can't accompany a marriage that starts this way.) But, as I stated before, the divorce rate is so high, and that begs the question "why?" My personal views on this are that we've become a society where instant gratification is the norm. We get everything we want at the push of a button and don't have to struggle much for any of it (at least not in comparison the the majority of the people in this world). Likewise, we're a wasteful and disposable society. If we don't like something, we get rid of it for something "better"...even if it's still perfectly ok. Upgrades on computers, cell phones, TV and stereo equipment, new cars, wardrobes, etc. etc. We've taken that attitude from our everyday possessions and situation in life and transferred it onto our relationships. We want the perfect mate RIGHT NOW and if we don't have it, we trade it in for a better model. We don't have the patience and grace to allow our spouses to make mistakes, learn, and grow. We throw our hands up in the air, scream, "I've tried everything!" (which isn't at all true), and throw in the towel. We give up too easily, too quickly.

So, do you prefer the slow and steady, warm burning of an arranged marriage that lasts a lifetime? or would you rather have the furious flames of passion that come with a love-match? Well, I personally wouldn't want to risk the rest of my life on someone who was picked for me. I can't possibly conceive of being intimate with someone I'd only just met for the first time at the altar. I would rather take my time getting to know someone, decide whether he was marriage material, fall in love, and then spend the rest of my life loving him with the slow-burn of true love that comes after the flames of passion have calmed down somewhat. This is exactly what I've done...and I regret not one day of my choice. Love match for me!

P.S. I'm from the USA, but my father was from the Middle East. To be honest, I wouldn't trust either of my parents with such a decision as this. They had a horrible marriage, sadly. Why would I ever think of allowing them to decide what is best for me when they couldn't even get it right for themselves? Yikes!

Answer 2

To me a love marriage should always be better than an arranged marriage. In a love marriage you get to choose your partner, fall in love and decide to marry the person of your choice, which is good because you'll be the one living with the person for the rest of your life.

Answer 3

BOTH, it honestly depends on the culture. I have seen some arranged marriages that say they wouldn't change for anything and love dealry the person they are married to, I've also seen two people marry for love and have it last over 60 years I think it depends on the individual somepeople don't want to go through all the dating and do trust their families enough to choose someone who will be right for them ( most people have the option of saying no to an arranged marriage) love is built over time and the harder you work at it the stronger it becomes

Answer 4

In Indian type of "love marriage", your heart takes over your thinking and your brain gets shut off. Your parents have more experience, and they are not distracted by your hormone rush (the heart issue). Let then find some one for you with your approval. You know, the divorce rate is about 5 % in arranged marriage and it is 60 % in " Love marriage" !

Answer 5

Because of my family and culture and norms(am indian and orthodox family..), I did'nt care and I had an arranged marraige when i was 23 and to tell you the truth it was so artificial, and i had to come here to US of A with the guy you know strange guy, strange country for the first time and stuff and the marraige was full of problems and i figured it was too much and came away from the guy after 2 months because of the abuse( imagine i did'nt even know one can call 911 at that time) and stuff and am divorced now. I did'nt know i was so naive i mean how can you have a arranged marraige with a person you dont even know, with whom you gotta stay 24 hours of the day and all your life? I now find it so silly and ignorant but then better late than never, and now after 1 and a half years after coming away from the guy i think i am doing pretty good for myself. I am working towards my masters in business administration here now.

But i want to let you know that i have seen arranged marraiges work with some of my cousins and friends so i dont want to generalize so its your choice but just be 100% sure of what you really want in life before you make your choice. I just dont want another girl to through what i went through coz it can be really depressing and it takes so much to get back to normal again so think hard before you take any decision. Good Luck.

Answer 6

Well this instituion cant be gauged based on its love or arranged... I feel that in any form there are the ground rules that one has to follow... no matter in what form you skip hop the marriage is likely to fail

After all its a merger of 2 different people..

Answer 7

arranged marriages are good for some but not for everyone , but i would have to say both have there advantage and disadvantage , i would want to love the person I'm marring but if i married that person and just couldn't love him/her it would be so hard on the family's and me , so i would have to say love marriages better for my point of view !

Answer 8

anything is better. if u r in love with someone love is good. if not then u can opt for arranged marriage where u can love that person.

Answer 9

both are good because each of them having their own advantages as well as disadvantages. In my opinion arranged marriage will be better,since your parents will decide your fate.We must trust our parents, they have seen many ups and downs of life. they will better judge the backgrounds, personalities,cultural aspects, etc. In love marriages, it is difficult ,many times, to see the above facts.

Answer 10

in love marriage, there is infidelity down the road. in arranged too there might be. so its luck destiny. there is no thing as love marriage, its more attraction marriage. one becomes so blind in the attraction phase they dont even see the wrong. i have seen it all the time with my friends. now when they look back they say it was attraction. so there is no thing as love marriage.