I lived in a very abusive home, Dad hit everyone. I told myself that I was never going to do that when I'm a husband and a father. Well......I do the same thing. I hate myself, and I love my family sooo much. I need help! My wife left with the kids and her parents were here to.
2007-01-12 20:16:47 · 13 answers · asked by alwaysintrouble 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go get help....counseling, even join a group like what the AA does. n
2007-01-12 20:26:40 · answer #1 · answered by Nikki 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally know the answer to this question. I grew up in an abusive home, I too promised that I would never treat my family that way but I not only made that promise but sought out help. I found a group for people that came from abusive families. Find out what works out for you and break this vicious cycle. You just can't say that you will stop hitting you wife or kids you have to work at it and its a long process. I started going to this group even before I got married or had children and let me just say that it's been a long process but I can proudly say that I am not my mothers' daughter. In the eleven years that I have been married I have never physically or verbally abused my husband or children. You really have to want to change....Good Luck
2007-01-13 04:31:04 · answer #2 · answered by rcreyes72 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As I tell my daughters, learn from my mistakes, don't waste life by repeating them. A close friend was raised in a very abusive home. A lot of hitting, cussing, breaking, etc. He has 3 kids and is the most loving father I've ever seen. You have taken the first step towards being a better person by admitting your abusiveness. I think society failed when they said those brought up around abuse will repeat it to their kids and/or others. It's not true. I think they've got this stuck in peoples minds that you are what your parents are. Not true!!! You can stop yourself dead in your tracks. Please seek some type of therapy before they end up with a father locked up in jail. Society does not look to good at abusers now a days.
2007-01-13 04:26:21 · answer #3 · answered by STAR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT'S called braking the chain and no one is taught how to be a good husband,dad,wife or mother we just no how we would like to be treated and we do it. Some times it really is that easy you no.Please for your kids sake don't teach them the wrong way. Be a better person then your dad or mother was to you.It's up to you to brake the chain.If you love your wife and kids be a good person.Don't you want your kids to be proud of you,and tell others about what a great dad you had been when they were growing up.
2007-01-13 04:29:13 · answer #4 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was brought up in a very abusive home as well... but it was my mom who was the monster. when i was old enough to realize what was going on in my family i made a promise to myself and to God that if he allowed me to have a family I would NEVER abuse them. I had 2 children and they have a wonderful calm loving mother. Im sure i made mistakes ... but ABUSING them wasnt one of them. IM sorry for your family and dont blame your wife for leaving you...My God man didnt the abuse hurt you... why would you want to bring that same terror to your family... You say you love them is showing them abuse a way to show love.... You need help, not sure from where but if u ask im sure someone will know who can help you... reguardless of what counseling or whatever help you get to have to prove to your family that your not going to abuse them again... they rememeber what you done to them and its going to be a long time before they will trust you... but they do love you so it could happen... with time ... actions speak louder than words.... good luck and God Bless your family...
2007-01-13 06:23:52 · answer #5 · answered by deerlady2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations for looking for help and shame on you people who heckle him. Hopefully your wife will learn not to do things that upset you just as you had to quit doing things that upset her. So many women think they have to run the house and be "the proud American women" who stands up to her husband. Yes! Stand up to him IF he's an a-hole, but if you are mistreating a man that does not deserve it, to the point that he strikes you.....sorry Missy, when pushed into a corner, primal instinct in a human is to retaliate physically. I cannot stand a dumb women who mistreats her man and he puts up with it "cause he loves her". Hey maybe I've been a victim of spousal abuse....I need to call my doctor....
2007-01-13 04:45:20 · answer #6 · answered by Dirty Mutt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had some tough times in my life and the only thing that got me through it was god. I am not a religious freak there has been times in my life that I couldn't deal with. I felt hopeless and alone and weak. I had to give it all to god and have faith in him. I prayed so hard and believed that he would help and he did. Miracles have happened before my eyes and I know that god does love us. He is the only way to finding peace in your life. Every other way is a dead end. A lonely road. Pray and take him into your heart he will guide you where to go. He gives us counselors and Dr.'s He will guide you in a direction. I'll pray for you. Give him a chance. He loves you and your family needs you. Good Luck
2007-01-13 04:40:37 · answer #7 · answered by holliemay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
becoming a good husband is not learned from books or school.i guess the most important thing in marriage is not just "love" but respect.if you learn to respect other people even your child you are on your way to becoming a good person and thus, becoming a good husband because respect means a lot of things.it means being patient, having control over your emotions and your tongue (the most disastrous member of the human body!),being considerate about other people's feelings..a lot more positive traits comes with respect..start now..God bless
2007-01-13 05:46:04 · answer #8 · answered by sexy_23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is never an excuse to use your hands on another person much less your wife or children. Go to anger management right now!
2007-01-13 04:22:23 · answer #9 · answered by Belinda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think an abusive upbringing is an excuse for your behaviour. If you love your wife dont hit her, it is that simple - do unto others
2007-01-13 04:20:37 · answer #10 · answered by boo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋