Married 13 yrs., with two children. I thought we had a pretty happy marriage. Until this last year. We had a death in our family. My nefew. I have been spending more time then usual with my family,mostly on phone.This causes a lot of comparrison arguements with me & husband.My family is not perfect but neither is his. Weusually spend 90% of our weekends with his family.Something I didn't mind about before. But now that I want to be with my family more, he nags about their flaws. This just hurts me. I do everything around here. Im a full time, wife, mom,maid, & worker. My husbands only job is work.Yea, I know I put in to much work, but I was okay with all that. I just want a happy maggiage. Well, with all my husbands nagging & insults to me, about my family, its making me not want to put in all that I put into this marriage because I feel he doesn't deserve it. But this is not me.I love being a good women. But hes taking it out of me, & he doesnt get it. How can i make him understand?
2007-01-12 19:48:26 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sincerity is not something a person can fake. That's the whole point. If your husband truly doesn't like your family, he can't treat them with sincerity. Asking him to treat them kindly is different. He married YOU, but your family comes along with you as part of the package. He needs to, at the very least, be cordial when he is around members of your family. Polite, "how are you doing?", that kind of thing. You can't make him like them, but in the interest of your marriage, he should at least be cordial.
I can understand why you feel like being less nice to his family but don't do that. Don't sink to his level. What would that accomplish other than to make him angry at you? Show your husband's family the love and kindness you always have. In other words: lead by example. Maybe he will get the hint and start treating your family better as a result of your continued support of his relatives.
My own marriage ended in part because my husband's parents treated me like dirt almost from the moment they met me. I tried for years to turn things around but was always rebuffed. I wasn't good at dealing with it (who would be?) and I took it out on my husband. Don't fall into the trap I did if you want to stay married. In the end, my husband chose his parents over me.
Good luck. I hope it works out for you.
2007-01-12 19:58:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh he understands, he just does not care. As long as things are going his way everything is fine. He is jealous. He is controlling. he is selfish. I bet there have been other signs of this in the past. Control freaks want to keep thier wives under a very watchful eye. If he is really like this he will not change. I am sorry for you that you are going thru this. I have been there. Not for a long time though.
2007-01-12 20:02:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is having a tantrum because you're not giving him as much attention since your nephew died. He's hopeless, and I'd smack him with a broom or a pan or whatever you have handy.
2007-01-12 19:59:44 · answer #3 · answered by No Shortage 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him despite your family's flaws, they would let you live in their homes in a heartbeat. And if doesn't knock it off and keeps bringing up their imperfections and pretends that his family is all that, that's exactly what will happen.
2007-01-12 19:53:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he'll never understand if he hasnt already my ex( father of my three kids ) and i split up for the sole reason of my family. i pushed the issue and also pushed him away. apart from that we had the most blissful realation ship. maby if you see his family once in the month, he sees yours once in the month and inbetween you do your own thing. good luck
2007-01-12 20:41:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him
2007-01-12 19:52:17 · answer #6 · answered by connie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋