okay, I'm 15... my dad used to hit me but now he's not here so it's not a problem.. my mom though, never ever lets me go out and hang out with my friends or ANYTHING! seriously, she should let me go out of the house. I'm never aloud to do anything with my friends and it's ruining my life. is this abuse?
2007-01-12 19:06:04 · 14 answers · asked by Ezz 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hon, you have a right to go out! So just go and do it! If your mum throws you out then go to Juvenile Hall and they will give you a place to live, and also let you go out when you want! Problem solved!
2007-01-12 19:17:20 · answer #1 · answered by wheeliebin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now at 36 years old, I have enjoyed the freer life as a kid when there was not so much outside influence to worry about. Your mum is being protective not just because of outside hurts but also what she has witnessed you go through with your dad. Sit down and talk to your mum, don't bring in raised voices, just talk. Talk about the fears you both have, talk about the things that have happened. Let her know, show her you a responsible person and strong person who has come through the parental abuse. Is her parenting ways abuse? I see every day here in Australia f kids that cry abuse over parenting decisions. They decide that because they are told NO they cry abuse. Does she hit you? Does she mentally abuse you? Does she sexually abuse you? If you answered no to these then I believe that she is just strict and strictness stems from her fears, love and need to protect you.
Talk to her. Openness and honesty are the keys to any relationship.
One day, and I know this to be true, you will utter the phrase 'I sound like my mother!'.
2007-01-12 19:23:22 · answer #2 · answered by yankie1970 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't call your mother a child abuser. She obviously loves you very much. She's may be overprotective. I don't know what her reasoning is but this is a confrontation you will have to make with her. For example, tell her that you got invited to a slumber party (or whatever). If she says no, you can ask her why. Listen to her explanation and honestly consider it. You can ask her what she thinks is a good age for you to be allowed to start planning things with your friends. Most of all, don't argue with her or use a "tone" in your voice or even bring this up when either one of you is upset. Talk with her maturely like the adult you are becoming and try to find a compromise you both can live with. Be persistent over the course of several weeks or months about friends asking you to go study with them or go to the mall (or whatever). Patience, subtle persistence, time, openness, communication, and showing how responsible you are may help alleviate her worries.
2007-01-12 19:18:45 · answer #3 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear okay
If your mom doesn't trust you or your friends, there might be a reason. It is not abuse to work to protect your child. If never means not on certain times or days -- If never means not with certain people, then it is not an always thing.
I can't think of a single 15 year old who wasn't having this same fight with her mother. The problem is that you are wanting more independence that your mother is ready to give you.
Find some adult that your mother trusts. Ask that person to help you hear your mother's side of the story. If you can hear your mom, she might be willing to hear you better too.
2007-01-12 19:16:21 · answer #4 · answered by snickersmommie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is not abuse.
It's just the awkward age of being old enough to want out & to young to do so.
Be open, honest & patient with your mother, give her repect, & over time, you'll find that her trust in you, her openess with you, her honesty & patience along with her respect of you will grow.
If she knows about your dad's abuse, I am sure she feels the need to protect you & the fear that she has already screwed you over by exposing you to things that no one should be exposed to.
Often times, abused youth step into abusive relationships &/or abusive behaviors (carelessness, drugs, alcohol, sex). She is probably aware of that & only wants what is best for you.
Since you are 15, I know you think that you are old enough to do what you want to do, but really you are not. 18 is that age & even then, if you reside with a parent...you should respect their house rules.
2007-01-12 19:16:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, it's not abuse. She's overprotective or something, or she doesn't realize that you may be mature enough to do that kind of stuff now. From the way you're talking though, i can understand why she won't let you out of the house, you're not acting very mature! Calm down, talk it over with her, and see if you can work something out. If you blow up in her face, that'll just make it harder for you to get what you want, yanno? You need to prove to her that you can handle the responsibility. Good luck!
2007-01-12 19:11:10 · answer #6 · answered by High On Life 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might think it is but to the law it's not. As long as your going to school and you get feed and stuff then its not abuse. It would be if she was locking you in your room and not feeding you or letting you out to shower and stuff. It sounds to me that she is just strict. One day you will look back and be glad she was. I've been there. I use to think my parents were so mean. But then I grew up and saw how all my "friends" were getting in trouble and what they had to go through. Now I know my parents just loved me. You realize that more when they are gone and you wont ever get to see them again.
2007-01-12 19:13:54 · answer #7 · answered by jessie012281 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not unless she is keeping you locked in a closet.
Arks if you can invite friend over so she can meet and get to know them.
Ask if she can take you and your friends to the movies.
Just not sit right beside you guys but a few rows over.
She is just looking out for you.
Explain to her growing up is learning how to be in social situations and you need to learn.So if she would please let a couple of your friends come over to watch TV with you so she can meet them.
Maybe invite your friends parents to brunch so she can get to know them as well.
Then she would feel more at ease with letting you go over to their houses to hang out as long as there is parental supervision.
Or go out to the mall or what ever.
But truly unless she is keeping you in a closet or hitting you or letting someone else do that.It is not abuse.Talk to her in a calm mature voice and don't start yelling listen to her views and she will hopefully listen to yours.
But remember don't start yelling or whining cause then it will just back up her view that you are too young to go out .
2007-01-12 20:01:14 · answer #8 · answered by southernbell_1313 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not abuse. It's called being over-protective.
And, I'm sorry about the way you were treated earlier in your life. Bless you.
Ask you Mom if she wants to go with you and some of your friends sometime. Perhaps she just doesn't know them like you do, and she's concerned for your safety.
2007-01-12 19:11:07 · answer #9 · answered by domesticgoddess 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Technically NO. If you were to talk to a Family Services Counselor, maybe there could be a mental/emotional abuse thing happening.
Remember, she is your mom and may be trying to do what's right in her mind.
Is there no Love in your house? I feel for you.
God Bless You.....
2007-01-12 19:12:17 · answer #10 · answered by Wabbit 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋