When you are friend's with two people that can't stand each other and you do every thing in your power, to avoid talking bad about one, while the other isn't around. It's frustrating because when two people are mad at each other, they alway's want to vent to the person, that's friends with the both of them and no matter how you try to change the subject, they just keep going back to it. It seems no matter how honest you are, one of the two or possibly both, think you are talking about them, to the other one. Aaarrgghh! I hate that!
2007-01-12 18:55:20 · 9 answers · asked by A_WWE_FAN_4LYFE 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
yeah you are so right. I have trouble changing the subject and I tend to feel as though I should say something to validate a true point that they brought up about that mutual friend. I know why I do it though, it's because I don't want that friend to think that I like the other better AND sometimes the conversation is going pretty good. I later feel bad when I do that then worry if that friend will tell the other the two cents I put in. I try to work on that because it's not a good feeling afterwards. So since you brought it up I will take it as a confirmation to focus on that weakness of mine. Stay strong my sista.
2007-01-12 19:10:08 · answer #1 · answered by MeHurdu 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been there and done that. That's what people call being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Or in other words, none of your options seem feasible or attractive. You can't side with one friend without hurting the other. They won't stop fighting, so you can't spend time with them together. If you are doing something with Friend 1, you probably don't want Friend 2 to know about it and vice versa. And every time either Friend 1 or 2 is brought up in the other's presence, they start complaining about how much they can't stand your other friend. This makes your time together excruciating.
In my situation, I finally got to a point where I couldn't take it anymore. I told them both that I could not and WOULD NOT listen to anymore complaints from either one about the other. I told my friends that I cared about them both, but it was a problem between them, not them and me. I also told them that they didn't have to get along with each other, but out of respect for me, they needed to be civil to each other when they were with me. And that I didn't want to hear them disrespecting each other to me behind each other's backs. It was rocky at first, but when they saw I was serious, they backed off. They never did get along, but I didn't have to hear about it anymore.
The best advice I can give you is: don't try to change your friends. I WON'T work. You can't make people get along, (unfortunately)
I don't know if this will work for you, but whatever your solution, make sure you stick to your convictions. Because your friends will walk over you as long as you let them. Be firm and everything should turn out fine. Good luck.
2007-01-12 19:17:33 · answer #2 · answered by rheame 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Reenie, as a non-participant of Mars, I truly have not felt in the midst of this controversy till about a 1/2 an hour in the past, even as a placed up about me grow to be issued on Mars by using its chief, which i will categorically say isn't the reality. No apologies nor promises were ever made to me by using him. and that i very much resent being pulled into, stuck "in the midsection" of a few thing of which I had no section. yet you carry on on your truth, what ever that's. I truly have always loved and revered you. God Bless. ma
2016-10-30 23:46:00 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to them and seriously put your foot down. tell them you are not a mediator, nor are you getting paid for this counseling. Tell them if it continues, you will sever you relationship with the one that doesn't get it ...or both.
Talk and be firm.
2007-01-12 19:03:40 · answer #4 · answered by Wabbit 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Choose some new friends. Those sound too demanding and draining.
2007-01-12 18:59:56 · answer #5 · answered by domesticgoddess 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
separate them. listen to them what are the problems. then ask both of them out to solve the problem and let them know that you are stuck between them.
2007-01-12 20:13:01 · answer #6 · answered by joycelina 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes long time ago....glad I don't have to deal with it anymore. n
2007-01-12 19:04:11 · answer #7 · answered by Nikki 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG...i have been in that boat...i just ditched all of em....i mean i have no time for that....just ditch em...seriously...its not worth you losing hair over..
2007-01-12 18:59:32 · answer #8 · answered by kowalley 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
THAT sucks
2007-01-12 18:57:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋