I'm generally confident in myself, i like who i am and i am strong in my opinions. however i tend to constantly have issues with feeling secure in my friendships. I'm constantly paranoid that i'm being replaced, or left out, or that they don't like me. Most of the time it's completely groundless and the tiniest thing can set it off, and it makes me feel really stressed and upset. I've been friends with most of them for over 10 years, and we've rarely even had a fight. i don't like feeling insecure. i like to think that i'm more independent. how can i stop this from happening?
2007-01-12 18:53:14 · 7 answers · asked by jo 5 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I think some of your answer lies in your question. You said that your feelings are completely groundless. When you begin to feel paranoid, remind yourself that your thoughts are groundless. When you do this you are practicing a therapy known as Rational Emotive Therapy (wow, second plug for this today). Your feelings/thoughts are irrational, and what you are doing is replacing them with rational ones, i.e. My friends don't like me. No, wait a minute, that's not right, they love me. My friends don't want me around. No, wait, they love my corny jokes, they love for me to hang with them. Try it, you'll like it!!
2007-01-12 19:03:35 · answer #1 · answered by Dino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
More than likely you've had an incident in your past where you were hurt which left you feeling vulnerable. Sometimes the most insignifigant actions by the people around you who you care about may set you off. You may not recall the memory exactly, but if you feel like this insecurity is really disrupting your social life you may want to speak to a therapist about pinpointing the exact event in your past that triggers these feelings and addressing it. If you feel comfortable enough with your friends you may just tell them about how you feel sometimes, maybe they can reassure you that you've no need to be worried.
2007-01-12 19:06:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is common among friendship. What you need is assurance that you are important in a relationship. When you are even taken lightly for a small matter, you begin to wonder your worth.
This is part of human insecurities. Quit worrying too much, it will take time to relax but train yourself to keep your mind at rest and to stop constantly worrying
2007-01-12 19:07:06 · answer #3 · answered by Switz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you got some self esteem?confidence issues and may not realise it. You shouldnt have to feel like that, you are just as special as every one else, and unless your a total nasty ***** (and i dont think u are), your friends will not hate or dismiss you.
Talk to a counsellor girl and get this sorted cos your lifes too precious to waste feeling like this.
Hope this helps.
2007-01-12 18:59:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
its just how we are and we cant be perfect or strong in all areas and if you have friends for over 10 y its not an essuies just be who you are im sure you are a great person and your friends love u
2007-01-12 19:04:58 · answer #5 · answered by revolution 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to establish a POSITIVE attitude, not just with your friends but towards yourself first.
2007-01-12 19:06:38 · answer #6 · answered by trykindness 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit careing.
2007-01-12 18:56:35 · answer #7 · answered by Dude 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋