She stays w/ a guy that treats her like a door mat. She complains all the time, and I'm tired of it! Should I tell her?
2007-01-12 18:50:32 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Just tell her what you would do when she brings it up. If she's not hitting you over the head with it all the time let it go.
2007-01-12 19:02:34 · answer #1 · answered by Huguenot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tricky one... but I've always felt the mark of true friendship was being willing to risk even the friendship itself for the safety / betterment of the other.
So.... what's most important is HOW you tell her.. how you express yourself. Tell her it makes you sad to see him treat her that way. Tell her you feel she deserves someone who treats her with more respect... and tell her you love her and support her and wish nothing but the very best for her, no matter WHAT she decides to do about him. Start and end with a showing of support... and let her know your concerns. Then, let the decision be hers.. Don't bring it up again... and show her your support, er no matter what her decision is. Everybody loves a good friend... but nobody likes a nag!!
If she is able to hear what you're saying, she'll think about it.. it may take awhile for her to come around... and she may never come around. What you do with it at that point? That's a bridge you can cross when you come to it.
2007-01-13 02:58:51 · answer #2 · answered by Amy S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi fortunate!!!
This is the way it goes, you should tell her as soon as you can!!! And them let her decide. Remember, you can not live her life or take decisions for her.
And the more you nag about it to her the less she will listen.
I can sense that you care so much for her, and it shows you want the best for her too, but unfortunately, you can NOT do much.
Tell her what you feel, see, hear and dislike, NOT about her boyfriend, but about the situation. Remember if you want her to still be your friend, DO NOT attack him with criticism, she will resent you for that!!!
Be sincere, so when she finally find out for herself, she remembers, at least she has YOU, as a true friend!!!
GOOD LUCK, GOD BLESS YOU& HAPPY LIFE
ALLIV Z
2007-01-13 03:03:07 · answer #3 · answered by Alliv Z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PLEASE do and spare yourself from all the complaints! since you are friends, she should know that your advice is only to help her, not tear her down. SO, when you tell her what you're thinking, she really needs to stop and think about it. I've had a friend like that, and I kept telling her and telling her that this guy is a loser, but she thought that she was "over-reacting." yeah, she eventually broke up w/ him later. geez, sometimes we think that things will be ok, but if you see warning flags, you NEED to tell her straight up, no hints. let her know that you're talking to her because you care about your friendship, and you want her to be happy (and to stop complaining to you!)
best of luck!
2007-01-13 03:30:23 · answer #4 · answered by whit-to-the-ney 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i used to get involved in relationships, but i just ended up being the bad guy in their eyes. I think what the real issue is overall is your friends self esteem. She might be a little braver if she really had confidence in her self. Maybe you could try and help her in that aspect. Then you would be helping her not just in this situation, but in life overall.
2007-01-13 02:56:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advise...Listen to her...don't tell her anything. If you don't tell her what she wants to hear it may work against you. Just be a friend and listen to her woes. A real friend will be there in the beginning, will be there for a shoulder to cry on, and will be there to help pick up the pieces when she sees for herself what a jerk he was.
2007-01-13 02:59:16 · answer #6 · answered by cheri_anne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be open, brutelly honest, to the point but also remind her that she is your friend. Opennes and honesty are keys to any relationship.
2007-01-13 03:17:01 · answer #7 · answered by yankie1970 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her its not okay whats she's doin and no matter what he needs to end her relationship
2007-01-13 02:54:30 · answer #8 · answered by vio_prince 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Immediatly, you wouldn't be much of a friend if you didn't. If she gets upset, so be it, one day after she breaks up with him she will thank you!
2007-01-13 02:54:20 · answer #9 · answered by sweet_thang_0432024 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, you also have to tell that you really care and she deserves better...that's what friends are for.
she must open her eyes that you see it too.
-Good Luck-
2007-01-13 02:58:57 · answer #10 · answered by me_myself_mwah. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋