I didn't think the value of the present would send a wrong signal, but guess it has. What can I do to salvage this situation?
2007-01-12 18:46:36 · 23 answers · asked by europa l 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I'm sure you can fix what's broken but I'm wondering if you came on too heavy if it's a new relationship by giving something too big or too expensive? Usually when you meet someone you start out small and work up to a bigger gift as time goes on. She might be frightened that things are going too fast. Does she want to just have a light relationship with no strings attached..? Are you both on the same wave length...you just have to communicate more to find the missing link. I hope you both find happiness in each other or someone else in the future. Happy New year...from Mama Jazzy Geri
2007-01-12 18:55:28 · answer #1 · answered by Mama Jazzy Geri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just TALK TO HER. Tell her honestly that you notice that she seems to have become colder towards you and ask whether u did anything that may hv caused some misunderstanding.
If she likes u, maybe she thought your actions of giving expensive gift and something else u did were not consistent & she didn't know if you are sincere towards her. If this is the case, good for you and you just hv to prove yourself as someone she can trust.
If she doesn't see u as more than a friend, being cold towards u could be her way to tell u that she's not interested in you as a life-partner and she's afraid your expensive gift means you are interested in her. If this is the case, tell her you value friendship then pls back off so that she is not freaked out even more by the stalking.
u can tell which situation it is by observing her other words and signals, or ask her (email her if you can trust her to keep the email confidential) or get a trusted mutual friend to help.
2007-01-12 19:12:30 · answer #2 · answered by rise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people may feel very offended if they receive expensive gifts. Reasons are:
1.) They believe there's a hook to the gift (which it usually is)
2.) The feel unbalanced
3.) May be interpreted as a way of compensating for previous bad behaviour or just lack of good behaviour etc. But this strategy usually backfires as most people pay more attention to daily life than to fancy special occacions.
So, basically you've done a pretty stupid thing no matter what.
If you really expect anything in return for the gift, then you're in for a dead relationship.
If not, I suggest you tell your friend that you have now realized the above mentioned possible reactions but that it was not your intention at all to have it that way. And that you don't expect anything at all in exchange for the gift, you just like to be friends and thing that thing would be nice or something.
Then say it won't happen again, and don't do it again. Unless you get to know each other better later and get married or something, that's a different story. Same logic also in marriages thou, so be careful.
2007-01-12 19:04:14 · answer #3 · answered by Hansinchina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is a new friend and you bought her an expensive gift, it probably gave her the impression that you like her too much too soon. She may not be ready for the depth of relationship in which you exchange intimate or expensive gifts, and thinking that you are would definitely put pressure on her in that case. To salvage it, back off. She'll call you when she's ready to talk again.
2007-01-12 18:56:10 · answer #4 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What grow to be the present? Plasma television or jewellry? It makes a distinction. Do you've a hidden time table? once you've emotions for this female, then more suitable constructive "fess up" to her. even if that's, in truth, only an appreciation for each and each of the coolest artwork she has achieved (would you provide an same modern-day to a guy for doing an same pastime?) then tell her honestly. If it makes her sense more suitable constructive to provide the present back to then you definitely enable her to attempt this. tell her you probably did not advise to make her sense uncomfortable and also you sense like a bozo. Be straightforward...it always works. Cheers!
2016-10-30 23:45:27 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is fearful you are hot for her and she has become cold in an effort to keep you back. Either you have to completely relax and let her know you didn't mean anything by it OR just leave her alone if you do have some sort of crush on her. And don't buy expensive gifts for "recently-made friends" anymore!
2007-01-12 19:02:50 · answer #6 · answered by TCSO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her what you may have done wrong. It's probably that you didn't do anything and she's having something go on in her life, she doesn't really want to talk about. She just may be going through a hard time or if she got you something, she may be feeling guilt for it not being as expensive as your gift.
2007-01-12 18:50:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask if you were out of order for giving her the present,or if she got the wrong idea out of a gesture you thought was OK,not OK with her.talk with her before you make a mistake and lose a friend that could end up being more,she could just be going through some women things,or family problems.
2007-01-12 18:55:41 · answer #8 · answered by sassie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes an expensive gift for a friend would very much worry them that you want a relationship. Explain that it was just as a friend. Its very uncomfortable to get expensive gifts from friends though.
2007-01-12 18:51:38 · answer #9 · answered by JHAMAINE E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore the marriage advice. Marriage fixes nothing. She's probably just smarting because she thinks you're trying to flaunt, or mayhap her gift to you wasn't as nice (in her mind's eye). Women tend to do that sort of thing... I'd say just give her some space and a bit of time. She'll get over it...
2007-01-12 18:51:31 · answer #10 · answered by Omes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋