its like, hes thinking about the women in the porn and not me, shouldnt i be the one turning him on? does it mean i no longer interest him??????
2007-01-12 18:22:41 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
NO NO NO I love my porn....It doesn't mean I don't love my wife...It's something that can be seen and nevered touched...
2007-01-12 18:27:53 · answer #1 · answered by j d 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Wow, this is a toughy. The real issue isn't what you're husband is doing, but how it makes you feel. You feel "turned off" and "cheated". Have you told him this? You two should talk it out (not yell it out). Let him really know how it makes you feel. Love means caring more about the other person than yourself. He may be willing to give it up.
Now ...
from personal experience, I can tell you that when I've looked at porn it hasn't made me love anyone with whom I was involved less. It usually "fires" me up, makes me very interested in having sex. Fortunately, when I'm with someone, I'm not dreaming of the obviously airbrushed nude women that ... caused my interest. That could be true for your husband too. Ask him if he is. If he is then there is a problem - he needs to be with you, not use you as something to masturbate on while he pictures them. See a therapist. However, if he's not (and you believe him) then you have to decide how important this battle is. Pornography can be addictive, but I think for most men it's not. Most can go without it, but nearly all of us can't put it down if it's within reach - bummer, but true.
If you can, watch with him. Who knows where that could lead!!
2007-01-13 03:54:05 · answer #2 · answered by Dino 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
How to avoid porn addiction on the Internet
1. Consider installing porn content filtering software( Strongly Recommend NetDog Porn Filter,you can get it from www.netdogsoft.com ) on your computer. it will help to protect you from stumbling into pornography by accident, That's important.
2. Do not try to guess what the address of a Web page is. Many pornographic sites have similar addresses of respectable sites. For example www . whitehouse . com is a porn site. The real address is www. whitehouse . gov
3. Never click on Web site addresses that you receive in an unsolicited email.
4. Do not open attachments that come in email that are unsolicited.
5. Use filtered search engines or reputable directories to find the information you need.
6. Do not search for terms like girls. Think before you enter a search term.
Stick with reputable sites.
If something looks questionable, don't let curiosity get the best of you. Delete it or close the window.
Internet Porn Filter Resource:
http://www.netdogsoft.com
2007-01-13 23:42:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can assure you that just because your husband watches porn does not mean that he is uninterested in you. Most men, regardless of how much sex they get, will still masturbate. It is normal. You should both talk about it and find a compromise. My girlfriend and I settled at watching porn together. I'm not suggesting you do that, but in your defense, the pope (I don't know your religious preference) did announce that watching pornography was adultery in God's eyes. I personally don't believe the pope speaks for God, but some do.
2007-01-13 02:32:09 · answer #4 · answered by CAUTION:Truth may hurt! 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
My wife feels the same way, so I honor her by not watching it...but, I do enjoy it.
The visual imagry is a kind of foreplay for your man. I don't think I have ever thought that I want THAT woman instead of the one that I am with so much, but it is more like a trigger of my memory of having sex. Watching it would be just as satisfying as having sex with my partner.
I suppose that it could be a signal that he wants MORE sex than you are having together, but I wouldn't suggest it is a sign of abandonment.
Put on something sexy, so a slow dance or strip next to the TV and see which he chooses. Then you'll know for sure.
2007-01-13 02:36:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to feel that way, but it's still wrong.
Men use porn like women use dildos: as a tool. Men are very visual, and it's hard for most men to orgasm without some sort of imagery. He's not fantasizing about those women anymore than you would fantasize about a sex toy.
In other words, you (and a lot of other women in these answers) need to get over this. Chances are his sex drive is higher than yours, and this is his outlet without constantly bothering you. Try a little spontaneous "surprise" every once in a while, and he'll probably be up for it.
2007-01-13 05:27:56 · answer #6 · answered by Steve 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Yes it's normal to feel cheated after all he is imagining having sex with them. I don't think it necessarily means he is not turned on by you he just can't remain faithful. If he will look at porn he will have an affair if he gets the chance. Sometimes porn starts off as curiosity but then it gets a hold and it goes down hill from there.
2007-01-13 02:33:58 · answer #7 · answered by Cheryl S 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Why don't you try watching it together. He is not interested in those women, it is the feelings of arousal when he sees sexual behaviour that makes him want to watch. It's hard to explain and not many women tend to understand, but I think Serin hit the nail on the head, by comparing it to girls using a sex toy. It doesn't mean we want to be with the sex toy, it's just a type of sexual stimulation and just like using sex toys with your partner, you can watch porn with your partner.
HTH : )
2007-01-13 07:20:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends if you are beeing difficult or let yourself go because you are married now it shouldnt be a surprise that he seeks gratification elsewhere. But if you put effort into the sex thing I can understand that you feel cheated, because he does that depsite of your efforts. If you feel cheated maybe you should talk about him with it, it cant be better than the real thing ;-).
2007-01-13 08:23:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You appear to be very narrow minded. Allow him the freedom to watch porn, it is not correct to say that he does not get attracted towards you, if he watches porn stuff. You are the real one in blood and flash with him. Videos or images are unreal they cannot come alive into your room and take your place. Don't be afraid, have confidence in yourself. If you appreciate him, give him due regard and consideration, he will always be attracted towards you.
2007-01-13 03:11:45 · answer #10 · answered by dipaks262006 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Most men like porn..
Most women do not..
Men are different than women..Different brain wiring...
There is a porn designed for women..."Erotic Romance"
It does not mean he does not find you attractive or love you any less
Get used to it..
It is not cheating..
2007-01-13 02:31:46 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋