one of my close pals was molested once as a kid.. she's 20 now and likely to get married in a few more years.. she's worried that she may not be a virgin. is she a virgin becoz her perionds are normal and after puberty she was not touched??
2007-01-12 17:37:18 · 22 answers · asked by sure 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
she says she was penetrated but she's sure she had no bleeding.. what does that mean??
2007-01-12 17:51:32 · update #1
your frnd is absolutely a virgin.Normal course of periods have nothing to do with the question of being virgin or not.Both a virgin and a non virgin have the same normal course of period.To me she is absolutely pure,innocent n 100% virgin.From my experience i can say that she will have her first bleeding after her first intercourse but it is not always the surer test to prove one's virginity.first bleeding depends on many factors.So even if she donot have her first bleeding,still she would remain a virgin uptill her first intercourse. I know many women who didn't have there first bleeding though they were virgin.Give my best wishes to her and please ask her to throw away the guilt feeling from her mind because it best suits the person who molested her.
2007-01-13 00:17:14 · answer #1 · answered by tamali_g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is a virgin until she decides to have consensual sex.
I would consider counseling before marriage or deciding to engage in sex. After such a traumatic experience at such a young age, having sex may cause difficult emotions to surface or re-surface. Talking with a counselor or psychologist can help prepare her to deal with these negative feelings should they emerge, and can help ensure that she has a rewarding sexual life.
I a Muslim, I have not heard of the murder thing. But I think it is important to remember that your friend was a victim, and in no way responsible for what happened to her. It is important that she remembers this as she embarks on her adult life, otherwise she will continue to have fears and doubts about her sexuality, like wondering if she is a virgin or not.
Best of luck.
2007-01-13 03:35:01 · answer #2 · answered by kika M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've never heard of this "before puberty" thing. Medically, a penis pentrates the vagina EVEN an inch, one is NOT a virgin. Regardless of age or puberty. If no penis penetrated, then virginity is in tact.
However, its more also of a mental thing. For myself I would not count molestation as sex as I like to talk about it, so if it were me, I'd call myself a virgin. If any one else has a problem with it, she doesn't really need them close to her now does she?!
2007-01-13 02:09:18 · answer #3 · answered by Noota Oolah 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I went through the same thing. I was 4 when it happened and 5 when he was locked up. I barely remember it now. But anyway. No she is not a pure virgin. But She did not give her innocence freely. So my belief in God's eyes she is still a virgin.
Periods and puberty have nothing to do with the facts..
You lose your virginity when you are penetrated by the male organ. Simple facts.
2007-01-13 01:52:00 · answer #4 · answered by Brandi 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
First of all, normal periods don't have anything to do with being a virgin. But my opinion would be that she's a virgin until she decides to not be one anymore. No matter what happen to her at the age of 5 doesn't count as she had no say in the matter.
I pray she's doing well and has a beautiful and happy life.
2007-01-13 01:46:09 · answer #5 · answered by farmersdaughter 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
if her hymen was broken she is technically not a virgin. her periods dont matter in this situation, she can have a doctor check her situation if she wants. some of these people are talking about emotional and mental virginity which she still has but if her hymen was broken by a finger, a penis or an object she is not a virgin by physical standards and in moslem countries she would not pass the test and might even be killed, so i hope your country and people are more forgiving. sorry, by the way im almost 60 so i think i have a little more experience in all of this sort of thing than most of the young people on here.
2007-01-13 03:07:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
If her molester had sexual intercourse with her, then she wouldn't be considered a virgin in most societys anymore. But the hymen grows back after 7 years so she can consider herself one. I wouldn't think that it would matter to the man that she's going to get married to. He would most likely feel sorry for her, like I'm sure most everyone does. Hopefully her molester never penetrated her with his penis. Honestly though, I don't think it matters as long as she's healthy and happy now.
2007-01-13 01:52:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your poor friend :(
Loosing your virginity is never really considered when rape is taken into account. Yes obviously her hymen may not be intact due to the raping but loosing your virginity can also be more then just a physical relation. Don't let your friend feel like she isn't a virgin anymore because there was no positive consent for her first time. She still deserves the right to loose her virginity a respectful way.
In my opinion, rape does not ever count. That is just too horrible to even imagine. :(
2007-01-13 01:48:58 · answer #8 · answered by Crashleigh 1 · 4⤊ 1⤋
If the penis was put all the way in to her, I guess some people would say she's not a virgin, but I think that shouldn't count because she was molested, it wasn't her choice, it was the freak that did it to her. I think she becomes non virgin, when she has sex with the guy she wants to have sex with and who she truly loves.
2007-01-13 01:46:08 · answer #9 · answered by danhh 1 · 4⤊ 1⤋
No Matter dear most of the men & Women are not always virging tell your friend to ask her future husband if he is virgin if not ask him shut down.
2007-01-13 03:17:23 · answer #10 · answered by satish k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋