that you were leaving did they say things to you like "the grass is always greener isnt it" or "all men are the same", like saying everything in his power to make you think that leaving him would be a big mistake to you?
My current man does this and after 3 years and one child I do not want to be with him anymore (he has been physically violent and try to kill me by strangulation when I was 8 months pregnant) I only stayed cause I was scared and hoped he would change, he hasnt.
My current is tryin his best to make it sound if I left my life would go to shitt without him and that no other man would want me.
Im not ugly, but for whatever reason he is making me believe this garbage.
2007-01-12 17:19:21 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We are not legally married either, but we are common law for the last 3 years...and in canada of you have a child together and live in the same house then you are considered common law.
2007-01-12 17:33:26 · update #1
OMG its a abusive mans motto. "You cant do better than me" Ya know what ya can. I been thru this my moms been thru this my friends been thru this I have seen it alot. They say this so they can keep a control over you. They put fear in you that you cant do better or that you cant survive alone. ITs all lies. I was with a man that use to say **** like that to me. BUT i did find someone else and i did make it on m y own I still am. And everytime i end a relationship and start a new one. I meet someone a little nicer than the last! You can do it girl leave and start a life with out him. But if he has tryed to kill you once already id get a restraining order or police escort out. Because more than likely he aint gonna let you go to easy. My ex when i left him ripped the phone outta the wall and thru my **** all over the yard. I had to get a police escort out. Im not telling you this to scare you just to warn you! Good luck
2007-01-12 17:26:50 · answer #1 · answered by fine_ass_fatty21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweeite They all do it.( wothless men) What he is really telling you is he is scared you will leave him and find someone better then him and not come back to him.He knows he is garbage but he is doing everything is his power to make you belive he is a good guy. You need to get out now while you can.Not only for you but for your child.You both deserve better then that and your little one has no choice but to stay.Rember your child is counting on you to make a good safe ,happy and healthy home for him or her.Your child knows whats going on even though he or she may be young.Just seeing the lookon your face they know. He may not only hurt you but he may even hurt the child.He will NEVER change without help and you can't risk you or your childs life while he is getting the help he needs. All you can do now is leave him and hope he gets the help he needs so no one eles has to go though with him what you did. I beg you to make the right choice for you and your small child. I don't just say this from the top of my head.I have been though this and now my oldest is suffering with night mares because of it.(she was only 3 at the time) She is now 10 and she still thinks and dreams of what happened to us.Part of being a good mom is doing the right thing.Good luck I know this is hard.But you have alot of things you can do and if family wont help you there are local shelters tha will ,they will even help you come up with a plan to leave him like where to go,what time to leave and what to bring with you.Sorry so long.
2007-01-12 17:37:53 · answer #2 · answered by amber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men try to make you feel like no one else would want you, that is a bunch of BS. There is always someone out there better that will treat you better.
I had a friend that was scared to leave her man, they weren't married but lived together many years. All he ever said is that no one will ever have you.
The truth is alot of people thought she was beautiful, she was just so caught up in her lovers lies. He also said that he would kill her if she ever left. He had been very abusive.
One day she woke up and decided that she'd had enough. She was leaving and if he killed her at least she would be put out of her misery.
Guess what, he didn't kill her. He was surprised that she still had enough self esteem to leave him and her life finally started to be worth living again.
Some men break you down so much and try to make you believe that you can't live without them. Fortunately some realize different as my friend did. Almost all of you that have lived living your life being cut down and told how worthless you are, You are probably 100 times better than that man telling you that. It's the only way they know to make themselves feel better.
2007-01-12 19:33:59 · answer #3 · answered by Karen H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give in to what he is saying, he is just trying to hold on the best thing he ever had, and doing a very poor job at it. He is abusive and you already said he tried to kill you, he needs to be locked up, and you need to move on. There are great guys out there, yea, they might be hard to find, but they are out there. I could say report him and have him locked up, or once he goes to work (if he works) take off to a shelter and begin the seperation phase and then hopefully the divorce, and its a tough choice and a long road to recovery, but you have to do what is in the best interest of your child and yourself. But no matter what advise anyone gives you, its still your choice and I hope you make lthe right one. Good Luck and God Bless, wish there was someway I could help. People should not have to live like that. Again, Good Luck and God Speed and God Bless.
2007-01-12 17:31:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't diserve that ****. no woman does. i've been in 2 relationships like that. my current boyf (my fiance) would never hurt me (god help him if he did though!!) the first one was self abusive as well as him hitting me. i walked in on him once with a noose around his neck. he's done alot worse too but i wont go into great detail because u don't want to know. he made me feel bad about leaving him..."i'm nothing without you" "you never really loved me" all that kinda **** is what he said to me. the second one only hit me, he thought he was gods gift to woman (n he really wasn't) he used to call me a dog. n a slut. i gotta outta there quicker than the first (you'd think i wouldv'e learn't the first time)
Get outtta there as soon as u can. i don't even know you n i know u don't diserve that. you're obviously a good woman to stick by such a wanker. so leave!!
2007-01-12 17:31:47 · answer #5 · answered by stevieglenwright 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if he puts his hands on you he's a piece of crap...then he does it when you're pregnant with his kid, he's even worse than crap...don't know what word i'm looking for but he's worthless. Get out of there, it's never too late, unless you allow it to be. He won't change, men who are abusive will always be abusive. He's not only physically abusive, he's mentally abusive. Get out now, not only for you but for your child.
2007-01-16 16:19:45 · answer #6 · answered by Susan S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is trying to manipulate u, and lead u to believe that if u leave him, that your life will not change, just so u will stay with him and not even try. they call us fat and ugly, find fault with us, tell us we can't survive with out them, all manipulation so they can stay in control. he is attempting to use reasoning to get u to believe him, but in reality he is not being truthful, all men aren't like him. he will never change, u have to stand up to bullies, not believe them, their truths are based on themselves, and their beliefs, and needs. if he can get you to believe what he is saying, u will give up the notion that there is any kind of life for u out there, apart from him. but this is exactly what abuser's do, they keep their victim's afraid to try, and move forward.
2007-01-12 23:08:06 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PLEASE LEAVE HIM NOW!HE'LL NEVER CHANGE!AN PLEASE FIND A SAFE PLACE FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD.Men{basterds}Like him will Never Ever Change.My sister was almost murdered by her ex-husband who would tell her the same Crap that your man is feeding you.Please for your own safety/an your childs safety get out and get help!
2007-01-12 17:27:55 · answer #8 · answered by applekiss27 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
prove him wrong by leaving him and enjoying your new life that you CAN and WILL have. don't stay with him another minute.
2007-01-12 17:29:07 · answer #9 · answered by jezbnme 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋