So the dude I'm with has his good and bad. The Good: He's so sweet and affectionate when he's sober. He treats me like a queen then.The Bad: He has cheated on me once. He continues talking to girls online. He has a drinking problem. He can be harsh when he drinks. I really do love and care for him. And if I become alone I become so lonely I become physically sick. I've always been that way. I'm just so depressed right now cuz he's talking to other females via messengers and drinking. And when I contact them to let them know he's supposed to be engaged he gets pissed at me and says it's the only fun he has. He said, "it's my escape out of this hell hole". I'm so close to taking my life cuz I just want to be happy. Cuz if I did leave him I couldn't take being alone. Because I have noone here. My dad is pre alziemers and I don't get along with my mom at all. I have no friends that would visit on a regular basis.
2007-01-12 17:18:20 · 9 answers · asked by angelic.mistress 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hello Angelic, The first thing i want to say is "Sweetie i am sorry that you are in this position." But you need to be true to your heart. When he is one of his non drinking moods and he is being nice to you then that is when you tell him "We need to sit down and talk." Then tell him how you feel about him drinking and how he hurts your feelings when he is chatting to other ladies on line and that he uses the phrase ,,,,"It is how i get out of this hell hole." Tell him you want to know Why he uses that phrase? and you Want to know what is so bad about being with you? ,,,and that You do not live in a hell hole! Tell him that you would like him to go to counseling for his drinking in attempt to stop drinking and you might want to ask him What is the reason for him to start drinking in the first place? Now i know how your heart feels for him but after you have your answers from him ,,,,,,,,,,,,and those answers are probably not what you want to hear,,,,,,, then Angelic i am sorry but you will need to leave him. Because if his answers are all the wrong ones then i do not want you to become emotionally unstable even more,,,,, it will eventually lead to being unhealthy or physically unstable. You will need to be strong for yourself ,,,,,,leave him and find new friends. Ask the "girls" at work (that are single) where they hang out,,,,,,,,just say to them,,,,,, "well if its ok i think i will just tag along with you guys" and i am sure you will get a voice invitation from the majority of them if not all,,,,,,,,,,trust me ,,,,,,,,,the more the marrier. I know this is a sensitive issue. Good luck. Ann
2007-01-12 17:43:14 · answer #1 · answered by Ann 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to ask him why he thinks he is in a hell hole.
The guy sounds like a jackass to me.
I have trouble thinking that this is a relationship that will last.
Being alone is a choice unless you can't go out and socialize for some reason which I doubt.
There are plenty of places to meet people! It can take time but I suggest you start to develop interests outside of this guy. Reasons are:
1.) I think being away from this guy is going to happen at one time or another any way and you might as well get a start on a life that will allow you to be happy.
2.) He will get curious about what you are doing and join you which ends some of the problem if not all of it.
Live and prove me wrong.
2007-01-12 17:40:22 · answer #2 · answered by Ta Dah! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you stay with him? NO It will only get worse and that won't make you happy. Why does he want to escape from "this hell hole"? Sounds like he isn't happy either. You don't want to spend the rest of your life with him and have you wondering how you can get out of that "hell hole". Get out now. You will be lonely for a while but go out with friends. Try getting along with your mom. Maybe your boyfriend is one of the reasons you two don't get along? She probably can see right through him. Good luck. You can do better than this.
2007-01-12 17:31:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gal,
Would u rather being hurt at all tymes den rather be hurt at once and that is, u on ur own and start living a new life and a new preception.
Man is all the same. They are the most romantic they can ever be when they really need u. But when he is up to something, u are not even on his mind.
But do make consideration. Make a wise choice. Dun make ur life regret when u guys get into marriage life. Listen to ur guts and believe and don ever regret.
Hopefully this will help u.
Ive met all kinds all men and my view are, THEY ARE ALL THE SAME.
2007-01-12 17:29:31 · answer #4 · answered by Murni Sad Adi 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
remember this saying......
The ONLY one responsible for your happiness.....is YOURSELF!!
Ditch the a s s h o l e, he isn't good enough for you.
Get some professional help, you have some serious co dependency issues.
and fortunetly the "once a cheater, always a cheater" is NOT always true! I'm with my partner that cheated on me the last time we were together, but to add to the story, we were not only very young when we were together last time, but it was almost 4 yrs before we got BACK together, and I had lived out of state (like 9 states away) for most of those 4yrs.....we both grew up alot!
2007-01-12 17:36:36 · answer #5 · answered by Sapphire 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you depend on some one or something to make you happy, you will never be happy. Because this is so much a part of your life you are living with a drunk that likes to play games on you and others and then makes you miserable to boot. Please go out and find your self respect and make friends with it once more, you will be so much happier, and not depressed by all this mess
2007-01-12 17:27:46 · answer #6 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No.
Leave him now. There is no reason for you to stay with him. Never stay with a man who treats you like crap and obviously does NOT care about you.
There are organizations out there who could help you get back on your feet. Call them and go to them.
2007-01-12 18:03:33 · answer #7 · answered by Tara662 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are ROYALLY stupid if you stay with this man, mark my words girl.
LEAVE HIM now, once a cheater always a cheater...that saying is around for a reason.
2007-01-12 17:24:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him... there are much better people out there than him.. you deserve better
2007-01-12 17:28:12 · answer #9 · answered by Lisa W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋