Having trouble getting to orgasm.?

Question

When I am masturbating by myself and using some sort of visual aid (like pics, videos, etc) I have no trouble getting to orgasm by just rubbing. However, without these things I am unable to even get myself wet from a dry state, much less achieve an orgasm. When my boyfriend and I are together I get VERY aroused but when he touches me extensively down there I also have trouble getting excited enough to really orgasm...at least not for a long time. Is this all normal? Does it usually take so long? How can I improve my orgasm, epecially by myself? I am very into guys but the thing is a lot of the things I look at that I use to masturbate deal with girls....does this mean I am a lesbian??? I have no desire to get with another girl at all but it makes me worry that I cannot work myself into an orgasm. Am I doing something wrong?

Answer 1

As you have discovered, the human brain is our largest sex organ. In general, women need more stimulation to achieve that "almost there" state, be it visual, aural, tactile or scent. On the one hand, you clearly are orgasmic under certain circumstances and with certain stimulus (pics, videos, etc - and don't forget written erotica).

You are finding that without that stimulus, lubricating is more difficult. Use of a personal lubricant such as KY will help getting you to a wet state, though you may still need that extra "kick" that you've found with your aids.

Also, you mention that when you are with your boyfriend, you get very aroused, but the more extensively he stimulates you, the more difficult it is to keep that level of arousal. I did note your earlier question (since resolved) about his being reluctant to stimulate you in the way *you* need. In my opinion, this is carrying over to your current situation, in that your brain is still running in the background processing all those other feelings, and you're not able to "let go" mentally enough to enjoy the stimulation to the point of orgasm (especially with masturbation, since you clearly know your body much better than your boyfriend does).

Every person, female or male, has their own "length of time" to achieve the level of arousal needed to orgasm. I'm seeing that visualising or fantasizing about non-traditional intimacy (i.e., other females) enhances the level of arousal. If it's any relief, I too find that forms of intimacy not totally acceptable to our pretty puritanical society (compared to many other parts of the world) enhance my own level of excitement. I would not, however, waste any effort worrying about it meaning you are a lesbian, or even bi-curious. Even if you were, so what?

Bottom line, try to relax, get into the mood, and turn off that part of your brain that processes rational thought. Let the fantasies come out (and even if it's with your b/f, he need not know all that's in your mind), and you may find that's the secret to experiencing orgasms under a wider variety of circumstances.

Also, I hope your relationship with him is one that you can express yourself by showing him how you like to be touched. I've always thought it was a my responibility (and one I loved) to have my lover masturbate in my presence while I made mental notes about where, which side was more sensitive, speed of stimulation, intensity, etc. Your body is complex in the way all those pleasure nerves come together to fire off the impulses that will wash over your body from head to toe in wave after wave of ecstacy. Relax and enjoy!

Answer 2

ok. in the beginning, it must be your important different. perchance you r no longer drawn to the guy ur hookin up with, or in keeping with threat he purely isn't blessed interior the that soft field of existence. 2d of all, random intercourse isn't gonna help the orgasm concern. What i've got found out the final couple of years, is that in case you're able to have a psychological communication with somebody, which will floor an excellent sort of allure and chemistry, which will make intercourse so plenty greater interesting in view that (psychological convos in a roundabout way spark sexual intentions). Candles, creams, are good ingredients to, if used precise. yet another factor, is to make it sense responsible. particular i stated it. responsible. in case you spot your important different mid day in college, don't sense undesirable to bypass up on your motor vehicle on the parking zone and eat one yet another. those encounters the place ur normally socially conscious, strengthen alertness and a subconscious feeling of guilt (cuz ur kinda doin it in a public place). Guilt makes intercourse so plenty greater appealing in a naughty way and naughty leads to orgasms. wish this facilitates; if it does not i advise to reassess ur determination of important different;)

Answer 3

i used to have problems myself. i would try a vibrater. make sure you have it at "the" spot and just lay back and relax. you can do this by yourself or with a partner. make sure you are not tense about anything. maybe your boyfriend isn't pleasing you in the way you need. be open with him and tell him what feels good and what dont. take your hand in his and show him want.

Answer 4

maybe u think to hard. you just need to relax and go with the flow. when u are relax and feeling it good u get wet.(just relax hunny dont think so much)

Answer 5

its all in your mind try to use some lubricant.

Answer 6

WATCH PORN!!!!