i'm pregnant and need help?

Question

i'm 5 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend wants me to get rid of the baby he said he not ready for kids but i cant just get rid of the baby i'm not that sort of person to just get rid of it, it always been what i want to have a kids when i was ready to which i am not, it was planned for me to get pregnant it just happened, i love my boyfriend but it i keep the baby i will lose him, so i dont know what to do so could any one help me !!!!!

Answer 1

First of all let me say how sorry I am that you are having to deal with this. It is hard being a parent let along a young one, and you are wanting the life that is growing in side of you, how terrible and torn you must feel.

Welcome to the most rewarding part of mother hood, the one where you already feel a bond with this child because it is growing inside of you.

You have a right to keep your baby, it is your decision and I commend you for being on the side of your child. Your boyfriend needs to know that you don't just want ot shuck your responsiblilty and that you plan not to. He may very well leave and I am sorry if he does, but he was not ready to handle what he himself had a part in, and he would not have been good for you are the baby.

If he chooses to stay make sure it is because he loves you and the baby and he wants the best for you, and make sure he is going to work and help support this child.

In the end you have to do what you think is best for you, if you don't feel you can raise this baby but you don't want to abort, then go to a social worker and ask for help in getting your child adopted out, there are so many parents out there who have been longing to hold a child in their arms, and they are waiting patiently for a baby to come along.

I know this is hard and you want more than anything in the world to have the child and the father of the child, but it may not happen that way, so what ever you do, do it for you and the baby, and then if he wants to be a part let him

Good luck and God bless.

Answer 2

I have had to go through a similar situation years ago and will try to give you the best advice possible.

I found out I was pregnant on my 21st birthday. I had just moved away from home and starting university. I had a long term boyfriend who I lived with and was very happy but we felt that the timing was all wrong and I was very scared of everything if I had the baby. I made the decision to terminate the pregnancy without knowing the full facts.

In the UK after 13 weeks if you have an abortion you actually have to give birth to the baby. They give you a pill which stops your body from feeding the baby so that the baby dies then they induce contractions so you give birth. The whole experience was terrifying and I would never do it again.
I do believe it was the right decision at the time but I would talk to your GP first and get all the facts. I had no advice from anybody and my boyfriend could not even come with me.
When you talk to your GP get your boyfriend to go with you so he also hears the facts first hand as to what you would have to go through in order to terminate your pregnancy. This might make him realise it is a HUGE decision. It is not going to be him going through the psychical pain it will be you. The mental pain that you feel is something you cant prepare yourself for so I would seriously think about it.

Answer 3

I'm not saying this to sound cruel, but I just want to put it in perspective... you could give up the baby and still lose your boyfriend. You're not married, and if he would abandon you with the full responsibility of raising his child, he's definitely not committed to you, nor does he deeply care. Would you abandon someone you loved when things got tough? That's not love.

If you gave up the baby and he left you in a year or two, you may have strong feelings of guilt and resentment. You may realize that boyfriends come and go, but your child will always need you.

If you are not ready to raise a baby, there is the option of adoption as well. That's not "getting rid of it", but it's doing what's best for the baby. There are tight screening processes and people who adopt don't just have babies by accident, they work hard for the opportunity.

If you decide to keep the baby, you have plenty of time to prepare. I found the 40 weeks last much longer when you're the one who's pregnant. When it happens to your friends it just flies by!

Talk with a counsellor to discuss the options available to you. They will help you decide what's best for you (and the baby) in your particular circumstances. Good luck sweetie.

Answer 4

Its your choice. You would have to live with the pain of having aborted your child and that can be deep and long lasting. Ultimately, the choice is yours. If he is that much of a charmer that he would leave you if you had the kid, then good riddance. A real man takes care of his responsibilities and bottom line, the purpose of sex is to have kids.If he wasn't "ready" for kids, he should not have been having sex. If he splits, so be it. Be proud and raise your child to be a strong, moral person you can be proud of. Good luck and you'll do the right thing. Just make sure its something you can live with. You can ALWAYS find a new boyfriend. Getting the child back after you've killed him isn't possible. Don't do something for someone who has already stated he won't stand by you no matter what. A decent guy would state his opinion and then tell you he will support you regardless. This is his child as well, but its your choice in the end....

Answer 5

Only you can answer your questions. You said tht you are not that sort of person.....but the baby's father is. Do you want to give up your child for a CHANCE to keep that sort of person? Keep in mind that your mother (and his as far as that goes) had the same option that you have right now and they didn't choose to "get rid of you" If you aren't ready to be a mother, remember that there are many many women who are but can't have children. There are many with children who would gladly take one more. I have four of my own and can still have more should the Lord decide to give me more, but I would gladly take in an "orphan". Please think about what your choices are. You don't have to "get rid of" your baby. And you won't spend the rest of your life alone because you choose YOUR child over a boyfriend. Only you know your own heart! Best of everything to you and your baby.

Answer 6

Now is the time in your life when you learn that you are YOUR priority. It took two people to create this life. If you want to keep this baby then you have do decide and be comfortable with that fact that you might be doing this on your own. Depending on your age, your resources and your support this may be ok and it might not be. You have to make this desicion for yourself and yourself only. Your boyfriend has expressed his wishes and he should have thought about how he would feel about this predicament before he unzipped his pants. This is as much your responsibility as it is his, but you are not repsonsible for his actions. He needs to step up and help you make an informed and educated choice about the future of the three of you. If he can't do that then he might not be the person you think you are in love with. He should be helping you with this, not telling you it is the baby or him, you pick.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

Answer 7

That baby is god's child he doesnt have the rite 2 say who can stay on this earth he isnt 2 much of a friend or man thats a life he's saying get rid of he's very wrong n things happen 4 a lot of reasons he'll neva be responsible n my eyes keep that child n move on n take care of that baby the best way u can n just pray about it n he will help u God Bless u

Answer 8

Depending on your and his age, he may be right that he isn't ready, but you poor female must face much larger issues. Personally, I think that you might find help at a church, if you are willing. You don't have to be all religious, but these are the people who will be supportive of your choice to keep this little person you are expecting. They can also give you direction to other assistance in your area.
If you are in an abusive relationship, look up your local domestic violence places. They are wonderful support. I had my daughter while living in one and it was much better than the other option of losing my baby if I stayed with my boyfriend.

Answer 9

dont ever feel presured in to having an abortion as its you that has to do it and live with, it. havve you got family who can help you out? he must realise that if you were having intercourse with out protection, then a baby could be the result, if he was so sure about not wanting a baby he should have used protection, im not getting at you, but this is a hard decission to make on your own, talk to family if you can and ask for advice from them, if you cant talk to famiy find a surport group and chat to some 1 , dont go though this on your own, hope all goes well and remember its your body your life and your baby, what eve you decide you will have to deal with good luck

Answer 10

think of the guilt people feel even when that is what they want, you could never forgive your boyfriend if you only got rid of your baby because of what he wanted. it is a very hard time and i hope you can be strong and dont let your boyfriend bully you into something you dont want to do, do what you think is right, what will be will be. but if you keep the baby please dont ever feel guilty for considering a termination, i know of happily married people trying for kids who have found them selves pregnant and starting to wonder if its what they really want i think there is always doubt there right up until your baby is in your arms and you get that sudden rush of love