I posted a question about an hour ago that i have a condition that makes me very fatigued and weak by the end of the day so I cant really go out at night since its gotten worse, and i was wondering if it was right that my fiance to still be going out a few nights a week to bars when nights are the only time i get to see him because he works 9-9. he always asks me to go out with him and once in a while i feel good enough to go out, but most of the time not.
In your answers a lot of you said that its not right and i should tell him how i felt, so i called him. He got upset, saying he doesnt go out that much, etc. I was nice about it, i told him i thought it was important that he sees his friends and stuff but that ive been feeling hurt by it and i thought it was time to tell him. Its like he tried to make me feel guilty!! I wasnt trying to tell him what to do i was just expressing my feelings!! We ended up yelling at eachother and i hung up. What should i do??
2007-01-12 15:26:35 · 8 answers · asked by Christines256 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do nothing. Let him prove to you what is more important to him...you or going to the bars. Hs actions will tell you what you need to know.
2007-01-12 15:41:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing.. what can u do now? If u stand by what u said, then appologizing and taking it back only means ur willing to condone an action that u dont agree with in the first place.. so just wait and see what he does.. surely u had to realize that before u let him know how u felt that there could be consequences to this.. and unfortunately the consequence could be that he's not willing to budge how he is and ur not willing to budge how u feel and are as well, and it could end up very badly.. but that was the choice u made by letting him know how u feel, if he loves u, he'll calm down and think things through and try to make a compromise, if he wants out then u know he didnt love u in the first place atleast not how u needed him to, and its better to happen now then 5 years 3 kids later.. true??????
2007-01-12 23:35:48 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am going through this too--I was preg with my bfrinds baby and he said "why" should he stay home because I didn't want to go out. He said I was controlling and trying to run his life--he should be able to do what he wants. We now have a 4 month old and the same old thing--why shouldn't he be able to go out--why should we both sit at home.
All I can tell you is that you have a man whom really doesn't care and you (and I) deserve better. You were right to call him and tell him your feelings and you got your answer on how he treated you--it is hard to let go--just do it and find someone whom loves you and is there for you--he obviously is just selfish and using the excuse that you are "controlling". Just let it go and find someone who does care about you and your feelings.
2007-01-12 23:42:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made the decision to express how you felt; it was the right thing to do, but you couldn't have expected it to be all peaches and cream.
So what you do is, you take it from there. Are you really going to keep running back here for every next step? You work it out, move through it or move on.
2007-01-12 23:46:16 · answer #4 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Understandably, you started this fight, so you have to finish it. You have to understand what you said, but didn't believe; he needs friends, and he needs social outlets. He's invited you to go with him, and you don't feel up to it. I presume you have fibromyalgia, and it can be debilitating. You have to call him back and apologize for raising your voice to him; neither situation is his fault.
This does not have an easy solution. Don't expect a youing man to sit home every night and not have contact with other people. he WILL find someone else. But don't become a doormat, either.
Clean this up; you both have burdens to carry. If he stays with you, he's facing a lifetime care; you have to be worthy of that commitment.
2007-01-12 23:50:18 · answer #5 · answered by seeitmiway32 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I almost never go to bars and never go at all except with friends on the rare night out, so I can't help you. I don't care for bars or care for people that care much for them.
2007-01-12 23:40:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he has to go to a bar all of the time, he may be an alcoholic. why can't he have a friend come over to the house so you can visit with them too? i think you had better re-think this marriage idea.
2007-01-12 23:32:40 · answer #7 · answered by notmyrealname 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant help feeling the way you do.. theres not much for you to do. If you want to keep the relationship going please refer to my last answer to your original question.
2007-01-12 23:31:06 · answer #8 · answered by jenny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋