My friend, her parents are getting a divorce. I've been thru a divorce like 2 years ago. It was hard and I'm really feeling for her right now. I'm not sure what to do because like when my parents divorced I just wanted everyone to treat me like nothing was happening but then I was really feeling crappy too. I'm not sure how I can support her the best?
Should I ignore what she's going thru or talk to her about it? Or do something else? Please... I'm sonfused. Because whenever she talks about it, I just feel so sad and broken and it makes me think of my own life, and I start wanting to cry. I'm 13.. And yeah... What should I do?
2007-01-12 15:06:12 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
You learn a lot about life when you are in college. When I was in college, one of my friends/acquaintances' father died. I smoked at that time. I gave my friend a card and let him know that if he ever needed to talk or anything, just to ask. Before long, when I was visiting my close friend next door to him, he would invite me over and we'd have a smoke together. It was a way for my friend to relax and let go of some of his emotions.
Why am I babbling about this? Just reach out and let your friend know that you've been there before. Let her know if she needs someone to talk to, a place to stay, or a shoulder to cry on, you will be there. After that, just let things be.
I hope everything works out for your friend and that she lands on her feet.
2007-01-12 15:20:42 · answer #1 · answered by Slider728 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe don't bring it up unless she does.
Maybe you could remind her, though, that just because a family is a "separated family" it does not have to be a "broken" family. Sometimes when parents separate it is just what they need to be able to become friends again, and the family kind of reorganizes and comes out ok.
Sometimes couples actually go through the difficult process of divorcing and find out that they came through all the rough stuff with a certain something they still share with their ex-spouse that has survived. That's when they can come to realize that they have something (even if it can't be a marriage) very strong between them that will last forever even if the marriage could not.
Try to remind your friend that when a relationship is unhealthy it is unhealthy for the whole family. Couples in an unhealthy relationship may stay together, but when they do they are the ones who feel "broken". If a couple decides to separate in order for everyone to be able to have a healthier (emotionally, mentally) situation divorce is often actually a good thing (even if it looks really ugly in the beginning and has an ugly name).
Hang in there, and tell your friend to hang in there too. Try not to see divorce as a horrible end of something and instead to see it as a way to fix lives that are broken.
2007-01-12 19:48:44 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm 14 and my parents have been divorced since I was in Kindergarten so it was eaier for me because I didn't quite understand but I know from several of my friends parents getting divorced that it's different for eveyone...depending on the circumstances she might not want to talk aboutit. My advice would be that what she needs right now would be a friend. She just needs someone to talk to if she feels like it or just someone she can cry on without you asking questions.
Sometimes you can just listen and thats all she might need. So you can just let her know that if she ever needs someone to talk to that you'll be there for her anytime.
2007-01-12 15:51:38 · answer #3 · answered by iveysbananas 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should talk to her and see how she is doing with the whole situation. It does no good ignoring whats going on shes your friend and she needs you at this time...it may seem like she doesnt but deep inside she does. My friends parents got a divorce and it sucked. Its normal for you to feel the way ya do hun! Just give her a call evry once in a while and talk to her at school! Ask her over for a girls night out! Just do what girls like to do. Go to the movies see a chick flick or a comedy! Make her things write her notes/emails! Do evrything you can except ignore the problem! if you need anymore help just messege me!
2007-01-12 15:12:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well,just be there for your friend. Just go on as if it didn't happen. If she wants to talk about it, talk about it. Thirteen is a tough age for parents to spilt up. I mean, teens especially, need all the love they can get. So just be there for her. Don't give her an "I'm Sorry" card, or she will just feel like crap. Give her attention, laugh @ her not-so funny jokes and do whatever you can to help her get through. It takes a lot of courage for one to ask for help for themselves, but twice as much for a good friend. You sound like a really awesome firned that i know I would like to have.
2007-01-15 13:23:09 · answer #5 · answered by lolosaur 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her what would help her deal best, if the question bothers her you know talking about it will too, but remind her that bottling things up inside isn't good for her, and no matter what, you've been through it too and you're here to support her.
Good luck
2007-01-12 15:24:22 · answer #6 · answered by unu0nlybabe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend needs to talk about her feeling, and you are just the person that can be there for right now.. It alright if you cry with her You can just tell her that u are there for her..if and when she feels like talking or just to be friends.. Good luck she will remember who her friends are when she get healed.
2007-01-12 16:01:37 · answer #7 · answered by B T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel sad for you.
My good friend is going thru too. All I can say is, just be a friends.
2007-01-12 23:09:17 · answer #8 · answered by Melvin C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ignore her. Be her friend and be there for her to talk to. Since you have been through this kind of situation you will be someone she can relate to. Just try to be understanding of whatever emotions she has.
2007-01-12 15:16:13 · answer #9 · answered by precious1too 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would ask her if she wants to talk about it. If she says no, tell her you are there for her if she changes her mind and remind her that you went through it too. Maybe y'all could share your feelings & thoughts about it. There is nothing like a really good friend to lean on...maybe y'all can lean on each other. :)
2007-01-12 15:11:19 · answer #10 · answered by Carrie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋