It was a while ago(May) but he stood up for me and ment a lot to everyone. Its been hard coping with it because its been so long and I cant get over the fact that I had the chance to stop it and I didnt. Im only 13 and my bestfriend committed suicide. Is this anybit normal? and how am I suppose to cope with it?
2007-01-12 14:53:21 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
God how I would like to hold you in my arms and tell you I know how you feel and that it will get better over time. You could not have stopped him. Even if your convinced you could have, it just doesn't work that way. There are 5 stages of dealing with a loss. The first is denial, we don't want to believe that it's real. The second is bartering, trying to make a deal with god or the universe. Third comes anger, fourth is depression and finally acceptance.
This will never be an easy thing for you, it shouldn't be. But just know that it won't always hurt this way. Someday you will be able to feel good about the friendship you had with him. You will remember him as one of the best friends you ever had instead of the friend that killed himself.
Just be strong little friend. I'm almost 15 years out now and I hit the acceptance phase quite awhile back.
2007-01-12 15:03:18 · answer #1 · answered by hthr_1974 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Alex I'm sorry about your friend honey, that's a lot of burden for you to carry. You need to understand this wasn't your fault, and you can't keep thinking that you could have stop it. my son also lost a friend the same way over the summer and he felt very guilty not being able to help her out. you need to speak with a counselor at school or talk to your parents or a mentor, is normal to feel the way you do, but please don't let your self be depressed any more, I'm sure your friend wouldn't want you to be sad, pick up a hobby some thing the your friend might have like to do, that would be a good way to remember him and honor him, you are doing the right thing by putting your feelings out there even if is this way, i hope i was able to help some, take care
2007-01-12 15:13:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's really harsh. i would just break down and cry but that's not what you should do. You should talk to people about it. Your parents your friends, a counselor, anyone you trust. This is a delicate situation to handle and you need to be talking to people who mean the most to you. At young ages people are stressed. I'm stressed everyday of the week. But some peoples stress goes over the top and they believe they can't cope with things anymore so they do it. So it's kind of normal but at the same time not. Just talk to people and you'll be able to cope with it a little more. Express your feelings on it to someone
2007-01-12 15:02:31 · answer #3 · answered by bkchick2010 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no guarantee even if you had prevented that attempt he would not have tried it later. Don't beat yourself up over it.
SUICIDE PREVENTION
Suicide & Crisis Hotline 1-800-999-9999 Help for Troubled Teens
National Hope Line Network 1-800-784-2433 Suicide Prevention
SOMEONE TO TALK ABOUT IT TO
Talk Zone 1-800-475-TALK Peer Counselors
Teen Help Line 1-800-400-0900 Help Line For Troubled Teens
Teen Hot Line 1-800-747-8336 Hot Line For Troubled Teens
VOICES In Action, Inc. 1-773-327-1500
Youth Development International 1-800-HIT-HOME (448-4663) Youth Crisis Hotline
National Crisis Line 1-800-334-4357 Crisis Help Line
National Youth Crisis Hotline 1-800-448-4663 Youth Crisis Hotline
http://usminc.org/links.html
2007-01-15 18:20:50 · answer #4 · answered by The Notorious Doctor Zoom Zoom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At thirteen, you can't change a depressed person and keep them from committing suicide. Realistically, at no age could you keep them from doing what they wanted to do. Professional psychiatrists have patients who commit suicide. The people who do that have a disease that keeps them from realizing that they leave behind a mess of negative emotions that leave their friends feeling anger and responsibility and with feeling of helplessness that they couldn't do anything. Your feelings are normal, but they still hurt you. You could talk to a school counselor or another professional on a short term basis so you could understand and work through your feelings. Its hard for anyone at any age to cope with this alone.
2007-01-12 15:02:14 · answer #5 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Teenagers commit suicide, or attempt to commit suicide, I think that is bad way to pass away because there is always help out there for them. But it isn't your fault at all, it was just some issues he had and you shouldn't in any way blame yourself. You were a good friend to him.
When ever you seem sad about the situation just let the feelings out or tell a friend/family memeber, or call kids help line about any feelings you have about this. These people will give you the support you are looking for.
2007-01-12 15:00:10 · answer #6 · answered by drunken_monkey1988 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your loss. A few years ago, I lost a very close friend when she chose to end her life. It is normal to feel the way you do. However, you are NOT responsible in anyway. You may feel that you had a chance to stop it, but you can not beat yourself up over what your friend CHOSE to do with his life. The best thing to do is to talk to someone close to you. You can also see a counselor. It is going to take a long time, but you will feel better. Remember the good times you had with your friend; that is the best way to honor his memory.
2007-01-12 15:00:56 · answer #7 · answered by KS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's harsh, man. Keep talking to other people about how you're feeling. Right now your light, your center, your best friend, is gone. And that's an unbelievably scary feeling. Stay close to your friends and family, and I'd recommend seeing a grief counselor. They can help you figure out what's next.
2007-01-12 14:58:35 · answer #8 · answered by Bee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best friend was extremely depressed and got into drugs when I was about 14. He later, without any warning, (no one knew how seriously depressed he was) he hung himself. I've never fully recovered. He was sixteen years old. His mother pretty much blamed me and my friends, saying that we should have told her that he was depressed, when the truth was, we had no idea. I've never fully understood why he did it, and to be honest, it took me years to forgive him for taking his own life.It's something you have to acknowledge. You have to talk about it, leaving your feelings bottled up will lead them to explode. You have to understand that what he was going through at that time is something that no one had any part in, it wasn't anyone fault. If you need to talk, ask to see your school social worker, or talk to your friends about it. I'm sure with time and the proper help, you will learn to cope and mourn properly. What your feeling is normal, and I'm truly sorry that you have to go through this at such a vulnerable age,once again, Im sorry. if you need to talk to someone whose been there, e-mail me. Sorry, again.
2007-01-12 15:04:22 · answer #9 · answered by Marie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First i'm soooo sorry and that i imagine truly of declaring something that someone wrote attempt to assert something from the middle. And second for the guy aspect tell him that is extremlly important and tell him to satisfy u someplace and tell him in individual reason he would want a hug or something. there is this truly good song called "a thanks to save A existence" by technique of The Fray i do not kno what u ought to do with it notwithstanding that is an truly good buddy song.
2016-11-23 15:15:20 · answer #10 · answered by dashrath 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋