I do not want to offend anyone, but I really need help..?

Question

My daughter has gone to live with her dad and new wife. She is from England and I have heard..(I have Never been to Enland, nor have I know many British people, so please forgive me for asking this), but since my daughter has been with them almost 8 weeks, I still have her part time, she has been coming home without having had a bath, hair washed, ect..she has a bad odor to her (she is 6)..my friend, who spent 11 years in England says that a long time ago, people only bathed about twice a week. Can anyone verify this? Any help would greatly be appreciated..I just need to know if my child is being taken care of...Serious only, please..

Answer 1

The majority of the population of Britain DO wash, bathe and shower. It is not a 'British Trait' to have bad hygiene. The simple fact that your daughter is returning to you smelly and unkempt, is probably because her father is more relaxed in his attitudes to hygiene and appearances. Also,your daughter is only six, and still requires supervision regarding her washing abilities.Her father may find it difficult to show a little girl how to wash if you see what I mean. Even for him to talk to your daughter about this kind of thing could be embarrassing and awkard for him; as it sometimes is for many fathers with their daughters. His wife is relatively separate from your daughter, and maybe feels that it is not her place to tell your daughter what to do.
Therefore, it seems like you need to re-inforce your standards to your daughter, and remind her that hygiene is important. Speak to her father diplomatically about this, and ask him to keep a check on your daughter discreetly on your behalf. Don't worry, all will be ok in the end! All the best! :o)

Answer 2

It would be nice to think that all of us Brits were in the habit of bathing daily, but I think we all probably know at least one person who doesn't! I take you are in the states, you have to remember we do not live in as hot a climate as you, and temp drops at night here quite dramatically, so maybe this is one reason why our culture in this area may be slightly different. Also, there are lots of old wives tales about not taking a child out after washing their hair in case they catch cold etc. If I were you, I would speak to Dad about it, and state your case and find out if there is a reason why this is happening. I def think you should deal with it, she is your child and you have the right to expect her hygeine to be looked after when she is in someone elses care, even if it is her father, you have custody. This isn't a silly quibble you have a valid point and I would fight for your rights on this (and your daughters rights) She has the right to have her dignity maintained. If you can have a reasonable discussion with Dad and you can reach a mutual agreement that would be the best solution, however if the situation is awkward, perhaps you could ask your daughter to remind him or his partner she hasn't had her bath yet? Good luck and I hope you get it sorted out. Try to be patient though and not let it develop into an argument as this will only cause him to get defensive and not see things from your point of view.

Answer 3

Most people is the UK shower or bathe every day or two, but the climate is mild and heat/hot water are expensive. So, some poorer people only bathe when they are dirty. This is all pretty much irrelevant, because your daughter was there for eight weeks and clearly was dirty. It may be an issue of responsibility; the father thinks it is a woman’s job, the stepmother thinks it’s not her kid, so not her responsibility. Anyway, you need to talk to your ex and make sure child is being taken care of while she is there. Somebody needs to be looking after her.

Answer 4

Talk with your X-Husband and find out how often she has been taking showers. A lot of younger children don't shower every say, but I am not sure how often British people bath, but I have never heard that they only shower twice every week (Eww). Maybe the reason for her odor and unwashed hair is a result of bad parenting. Is your X-Husband not willing to take care of your daughter? If not tell him firmly to wash her hair, give her a bath, brush her hair and teeth, and get to bed on time. If he does not want his daughter to be clean, then take her back into the hands of a person who will take care of her (meaning you), and don't take no for an answer.

-Azooga-

Answer 5

Yes I can verify this..............but we are talking maybe 50/60 & more years ago, as with lots of other countries. We also used to bathe in a tin bath (that was kept outside) filled with boiling water from kettles & pans but would you believe it.........times have changed. We now have running water inside the house & if you're lucky it can be hot aswell plus we have the luxury of a room where the bath is fitted (it's called a bathroom)

The fact that your daughter had a bad odor about her has more to do with your husband & his new wife than the country they are living in. Asking questions on here is not going to help you decide if your daughter is being looked after.

If this is infact a real question as opposed to a p*ss take, you should be talking to your ex husband because if it was my daughter I would want her cleanliness to be up to my standard regardless of the country she lives in.

Answer 6

I love this question! This is entirely the fault of her guardians (your ex-husband) not taking care of her! Contrary to 'long ago legend', Brits have indoor plumbing and use it on a regular basis (I'm sorry, I'm having a hard time trying not to laugh!). Either your ex is spending too much time with his new wife and ignoring the state your daughter is getting into, or his new wife is ignoring your daughter, or more likely, your daughter is kicking up a fuss when the mention of having a bath arises. If your ex only has her for a few weeks, the last thing he wants is to upset your daughter, or force her to bath.
On the other hand, he may not feel that he can actually go into the bathroom and physically make sure she is washing herself. 6 year olds are not renowned for their ability to keep themselves clean, they need help. If he's expecting her to run her bath or shower and use soap all over, he's expecting too much and so are you!
If your child is filthy she needs a wash. Believe me, the Brits have excellent sanitation. You need to address this issue with your ex.

Answer 7

It is true specially for some elderly people. But nowadays I should guess everyone in UK just shower/bath like everyone else. If your daughter doesn't look very clean, the problem might be with her new parents who are not taking care of her, not due to the fact that the woman is from UK.

Answer 8

I agree with Britainie you need to communicate with her father. Tell him what you expect. This is between your daughter, her father and you. You also need to communicate to your daughter what your expectations are regarding cleanliness.
I've visited the UK many times. It isn't a country where when you ride public transport, you think that the people shy away from soap and water. Also, I never had to share a seat with anyone carrying chickens and goats, as I have in some other countries.

Answer 9

I have 2 children who get bathed or showered every day whether they like it or not & everyone i know does the same with their kids,i think you should have words with your ex cus he should be keeping her clean,despite what you heard,most people in england bath or shower everyday.

Answer 10

talk to her dad and her about it explain that, that is extremly gross try to get her to stay w/ you more to make sure this doesnt happen, it just might be the child not wanting to bath, but hey along time ago(late 1800 early1900's) many people bathed but once to twice a week, and I dont think there really isnt a person who doesnt bath more than that but just talk to the child about it.