Hello, I have been with a guy for about a year and a half now, and we just moved in together. We have a nice little apartment, and I have been very happy. Well, there is a dilemma - He never helps me clean. I am a full time student, and barely have time for myself, and I feel like I am always cleaning up after him. He says I am obsessive compulsive, and I am too clean, but I don't think so. I feel like I have tried talking to him, and I have tried not cleaning, and waiting for the mess to build up, and it just doesnt work. He says things like, "I work all day" or, "I can't clean with you in front of me" (he'll say this, up until i bring up the fact I wasn't home all day!) or, "I pay the bills." I hate it because I am trying the hardest I can to keep up with all the cooking, cleaning, and schoolwork, but I just can't do it. I want him to see when things have to be done, and do it, so I don't have to ask him. I am not his mother, and I don't want to act like it. HELP ME!!! thanks!
2007-01-12 14:26:39 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well, first of all, he needs to understand that you are not his mother, and secondly if he pays for any amound on the apartment or expenses then tell him to get off his butt and help. Maybe split the chores, or have him do something that does not seem like the whole apartment. Make him understand that things have to change. Trust me, it sounds like he has gotten a little to comfortable with the situation. Perhaps your not has happy as you were in the beginning. My daughter and her boyfriend, share in the cooking, cleaning or whatever. Of course he his a few years older and mature. It sounds like he wants a free ride. does pitch in money at all? make him do that to. Disconnect the TV. (and say how did that happen) dump all the stuff on the place or in front of where he is sitting. anyway. I'm fortunate My husband for 21 years handles a lot around the house, cleaning laundry, cooking , when I have to work etc. good luck.
2007-01-12 14:39:35 · answer #1 · answered by meforu1955 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... How about teaching him a lesson... Move out for a month... Stay in an apartment near your school or a dormitory... Tell him that you're gonna be busy because of a research project or something... Then let's see how he will survive within that one month!!! He'll have to cook, clean and wash dishes by himself! And I bet that just after 2 or 3 days he will realize how hard you work and that he really needs you BADLY... How about it?...
2007-01-12 14:41:27 · answer #2 · answered by Rinko_Sano 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain. I had the same problem with my boyfriend, but he straightened up after I talked to him. Do you really watch over your boyfriend when he is cleaning? If that's the reason why he won't clean, then maybe you should go into another room while he's cleaning; however, if he's just being lazy and won't help out after you talk to him, then maybe you need to rethink the relationship. Think of it like this... if he's a slob now, he'd be a slob if you married him. Try to talk to him again about it and see where it leads.
2007-01-12 14:35:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's a trick:
Put a towel on the floor and leave it there. If he doesn't pick it up, keep it there. If he still doesn't pick it up after two days, throw another towel there. Eventually, he will get pissed and pick up the towel(s).
Next, move his razor somewhere in the bathroom so it's still there, but he has to look for it. Then, when he calls you, he's going to realize all the crap you do, and tell him where it is.
Keep doing stupid things like that, and he'll get the hint.
2007-01-12 14:37:58 · answer #4 · answered by funtasticfool 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is really committed and cares about he, he would clean. If not the best idea would be to talk to him and confront him. Do you think you really deserve a guy who doesn't appreicate how hard you work? If the matter gets out of hand you have to confront and take action and hopefully he'll agree...
2007-01-12 14:32:51 · answer #5 · answered by anonydipity_09 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you have is a man who was probly raised to think that it is your job,and yours alone, to keep things clean.You need to sit him down and talk to him. Or it will cause resentment on your part.Beleive me I know where your coming from.If he won't help then ask him how much he would like to be charged for the house keeping your doing for him and give him a bill.
2007-01-12 14:43:12 · answer #6 · answered by Rainy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't help you. . . you have to help yourself out. . . out of his apartment and out of his life because HE ISN'T GOING TO CHANGE. You are property, that's all. You live under his roof, and he pays the expenses therefore YOU are supposed to go around barefoot and pregnant with no time for your own. Have you got this yet? HE ISN'T GOING TO CHANGE. He is using you and when he CAN'T use you. . . you will be GONE.
2007-01-12 14:32:48 · answer #7 · answered by snddupree 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why do you fall for his bull****? Declare the laundry, the kitchen and the bedroom closed for business. Move out.
2007-01-12 14:44:28 · answer #8 · answered by justbeingher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋