I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a year and a half. We live together in an apartment and are talking about buying a house in about 6 months. My problem is that I am not completely happy right now. I mean he treats me excelent, will do anything for me, is always taking care of me, and trusts me 100% But he doesnt do the little things I want/need to be happy. For example: when he is on the computer he will cut me off from a conversation to read something on there aloud (because of his computer games...makes me feel ignored), I can not talk to him deeply about subjects like religion, politics, or pretty much anything else that has to do with life. He also doesnt do the little things a woman likes, like holding me tenderly..instead he has to squeeze me or groap me. I dont know...what is your opinon? Should I try to work it out with him AGAIN, should i realize thats that is how he is and if I love him i will accept it, or should i try to stop it before it gets worse?
2007-01-12 13:45:02 · 12 answers · asked by Kasey 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Many of these things I have tried to discuss with him and he says hes sorry...but it doesnt change anything.
2007-01-12 13:54:21 · update #1
talk to him and let him know what is bothering you. turn off his computer and get him to listen to what you have to say.. then after that you will then know in your heart what to do... good luck and hope it works out for you..
2007-01-12 13:50:12 · answer #1 · answered by hurts so good 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a decision you have to make all we can do is give our opinions about it. If you not happy you may want to demand his undivided attention, unplug the computer, turn off anything that will distract him and let him know that you need to talk to him about some serious matter and lay it all out there for him. Let him know how you feel what you like and what to expect and find out how he feels about making you happy with all that you have put at hand. All you can do is try this and if it does not change then you will have to follow your heart. Don't get into a relationship and your not happy it will only get worser and your feelings for him will only grow more disliking towards him. So try to talk to him seriously and then you have to make the decision that your heart and feelings say for you to do. You must feel be happy and loved in a relationship and if he loves and wanna be with you then he will have to change some things as well to make you happy. Your suppose to be happy when in a relationship not unhappy. You and him will have to come to a agreement on things and you both have to be willing to work on making the relationship better.
2007-01-12 13:57:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Kasey the two of you could always go to a relationship counselor and try and get things back on track. He doesn't sound like he is abusive or anything and you have listed more positives than negatives on him. But if he is not on the same page as you and is unwilling or uninterested in trying to improve your relationship through a partial third party then you would be wise to reconsider spending the rest of your life with him, as this behaviour will probably stay the same and may actually increase after you two have a home. At times none of us are 100% happy in our relationships but when this time occurs to often it is often a red flag. Relationships take a lot of work and both parties have to be able to build it strong in order for it to be successful. Best of luck to you and your man and I hope that you a wise decision with this problem at hand.
2007-01-12 13:55:46 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to what your heart is telling you. You are not happy, those things are important and should not be ignored. You will always feel like something is missing in your relationship and buying a house together is a big deal. I guess that's why you're moving in as bf and gf, and not husband and wife. Open your eyes and realize what is really going on. Don't try to ignore the important things you need from a man to be happy.
2007-01-12 13:51:16 · answer #4 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to stop it. If you love him and he loves you then why brake it apart? Just give him some time, he'll probably kick in to it. But if he doesn't change then you should talk to him and tell him that you want him to improve just a little and tell him the spots you want him to increase on. If he seems that you are starting to love him less then he might feel like he hasn't been doing a good job and he might leave you and say that you deserve someone better than him. But if you only want to be with him then try to work it out with him. Let him know how you feel without giving him the wrong message.
2007-01-12 13:55:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask your self if you can accept his good with his bad and be a 100% ok with it. if you can't then in my opinion you might as well let it go cuz its just going to escalade into a life of unhappiness. ur situation sounds alot like one that i once was in. i loved the person that i was with but many thing about the relationship made me unhappy. they were things that i did not want n a relationship then there were things that i did want but was not recieving. we tried to make it work over and over. but eventually it came down to an ugly ending. now i have moved on and i am glad i did cuz i have a man that is what i was looking for. good luck.
2007-01-12 13:55:08 · answer #6 · answered by azeris23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
frustrating question. I controlled to recover from my ex of 10 years, yet in all honesty it took me approximately 5 years to do. it quite is quite tricky, as to enable circulate of all the soreness and harm you ought to have the ability to examine the full scenario and settle for the place your fault lay interior the relationship's failure as properly. no rely how plenty mendacity, cheating, or violence is interior the relationship, there are constantly faults on the two aspects. until human beings are able to settle for their own faults they are able to't enable circulate of the residual harm from that relationship, so as that they are going to hold that luggage into the subsequent relationship. Then while it fails they have their excuse waiting and waiting. via fact of direction in case you spend an entire relationship waiting for somebody to enable you down, they assist you to down faster or later, and of direction that proves you top! tell your chum to get help along with her melancholy. that's achievable to get with the aid of it without help (i understand - I did it), yet plenty easier with it! She ought to chortle at this concept, yet in genuinely actuality i think of meditation and time on my own have been the two maximum costly issues for me. you ought to make peace with who you're or you heavily isn't happy no rely in case you're on my own or in a relationship. As for relationship women folk with comparable themes... that would not sound like an excellent number of a relationship once you are the help group quite than the substantial different. So consistent with danger those working shoes are a sturdy thought..
2016-12-12 10:13:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should talk to him, about the little things you feel like you are missing out on. If he doesn't know that you feel that way, there's no way he'll know that you're unhappy.
Most of the things you mentioned, are things that are making you unhappy just because you do not mention these things to him.
2007-01-12 13:48:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no relationship is perfect. Try to talk to him about the groping. Some men don't do the little things-but if most everything else is o.k.- then talk about what you both can do to make it better!
2007-01-12 13:50:25 · answer #9 · answered by regwoman123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are so lucky to have a bf like that, those little things can get adjust easily...as you said he cares about you a lot, just tell him what you think. Good Luck!!!
2007-01-12 13:52:10 · answer #10 · answered by Penguin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋