Why are seniors so grouchy?

Question

My mom lives with me and she is usually like a two year old! Her first answer to any question is NO! I want her to be happy but sometimes her attitude gets to me! She wasn't like this before, she's 78 almost 79 and just a grouch! She has everything and more than she needs but I just do know! An example, tonight we had Bar B Q for dinner and my husband just asked her if her food was good and she yelled, This is my food, like he asked for some or something. I would really like some serious answers and maybe some coping stategies! Another example is this morning when I was leaving for work, I simply asked her to lock the door behind me because it was 4 degrees and I was bundled up w/the gloves and all and it's difficult to use a key to lock the door, mind you, for her safety as well, and she said, Why can't you lock it yourself even though she was sitting two feet from the door so I did just that! Maybe it's me but she is really frustrating at times and I don't know what to do.

Answer 1

I'm sorry to hear of your distress. I truly empathize with you. However you said "seniors" Not all seniors are like this. So then.....A professional may be in order, maybe a group encounter. Maybe her talking with other "seniors" would reveal a trait to calm her down and help you. Best wishes, God Bless

Answer 2

Keep in mind that at her age, she probably has some constant aches and pains that she can't or hasn't done anything about. Her feet probably hurt from fallen arches; her joints almost certainly hurt from arthritis; maybe her mouth hurts because her dentures don't fit well.

Also, she's living with her daughter, not in her own home. She worked hard all her life, and she's bitter because she doesn't have much to show for it - no home, not much savings, maybe just a little bit of money and a social security check, all of which means she has to depend on you for support. You're probably glad to help her, but she resents having to need it. She may be feeling useless too, because she knows she can't work, and she can't do the things she used to do, whether that's gardening, needlework or crafts, cooking, and so on. And who knows how many of her good friends have died, or live several states away.

Given all of these maybes or possibilities, she's could very well be suffering from depression. Has she been to a doctor lately?

Oh, and a pair of the soft gel insoles will really help her feet. Try that, at least, and see what happens.

Answer 3

"Everyone has a purpose in life, even if it's just to serve as a bad example."

this is really sad...i'm a senior and i TRY not to be a grouch..but i know that sometimes it cannot be helped Subconsciously it just happens!! I hurt...I'm sad....I'm depressed...yes these are all that I am projecting..sadly I do not mean for it be hurtful. I KNOW for a fact if SOMEONE's kind actions...even just a simple smile makes my own heart soar. Just a kind/compassionate/loving action.

Yes this is just me...but I DO NOT go out..socialize...because of my own pain. If my own children are to busy for me...then why bother. I find that most just tolerate me. So You SEE a kind word, a smile, or loving gesture matters to ME

Answer 4

When my granma was that age she did the same. She was pretty brutal, sometimes. Calling the nurses *itches. She made fun of my mom until she cried. She dumped a whole bag of chips onto the coffee table looking for money. The bag had money pictured on it and she seriously thought it meant "inside".
My granma was in a stage of coming stages of death. I'm not being rude or crude. I promise that is what was happening. Now I don't know if that is what your mom is doing but I seriously think it is possible. You might get a professional opinion. My mom and her siblings wanted to take care of her instead of sending her to a nursing home. That is how we found out about the stages, from a nurse. And it wasn't always easy. She became like a little kid that had to be constanly supervised or she would get into trouble or hurt. One day we were having a cook out. I was on the picnic table. She came outside and looked back at me with a strange stare.
Later on my mom told me granma asked her who was that dark haired girl out there. It was ME!! One day we were at the kitchen table doing home work and she said Melissa who are those kids? I was like what kids, grams? She pointed in the corner and said them kids right there, Melissa. Hell, are you blind or something?! We just slowly looked over to the corner of the kitchen and said granma cut it out you are freakin us out, then I called my mom over cause granma was scaring us. We started laughing after my mom came over cause it was funny. That time outside and in the kitchen was way before she got really bad. But we wouldn't laugh at her we just thought somethings were funny by the way she talked and stuff. Mind you she is from Tennessee so she had that southern wang in her talk. You mom may live past a hundred. But you should try to prepare yourself for a ride. The hardest day of my life was when I realized granma wasn't granma any more. At her funeral I didn't even cry. Because I had lost her way before her body shut down. I had grieved way before her funeral.

Answer 5

Age has NOTHING to do with being a complete @$$! I'd bet money that she has been like this her entire life. Was she a self-centered controlling manipulative emotional vampire while you were growing up? Now she's putting a guilt trip on you and your husband to take care of her.

There is probably nothing that you can do to change her, just use her terrible example as a warning for your own future. Like my priest told me: "Everyone has a purpose in life, even if it's just to serve as a bad example."

Answer 6

Life always seems to have been too short, when you're near the end of it.